To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Tribe

Iron sharpens iron

(Rewind! This post is throwing it back to an oldie, but a goodie, because you can never be grateful enough for the people you get to share this life with.)

I can’t imagine my life without those around me who sharpen me. It is one of the lessons I try to impart upon my boys, although, I know it is different for boys. They don’t naturally share with one another like girls do, but it is just as important for them. God designed us this way.

Today, I thought it would be a great time to just sit down and make a list of those that have sharpened me and when possible send them a quick thanks…

To the teacher that invested in my life, drawing out a young girl, inspiring, pushing gently, pulling at times, but always encouraging, thank you!

To my sister who was and is the one who has the hard conversations and who also celebrates life’s important moments with us, thank you!

To the gals in my personal tribe, friends from many groups… WOW… I am far better because of all of you, thank you!

To my mentors or mentees… I have learned an equal amount from each of them, thank you!

To my boys who have always pushed me to be the best version of myself from early morning feedings, to late night talks about college life. (I won’t give up on the whole “boys need to be in community too” part!) Thank you, boys!

Who has “sharpened” you, raised the bar, elevated your “game”? I bet they’d love to hear from you this week!

How do you win the war?

What a great question. I mean, who really wants to go to war anyway? The truth is that we all go to battle many days of our lives. The battles on the ground to bring value to our workplace, to our community and to our families.

I did a little research on a well-known, French military leader, Napoleon Bonaparte, who led several campaigns. Here is my absolute favorite quote I could find about him (for the record, I believe that this behavior is the absolute reason he won most battles…):

“Bonaparte would generally rise up sweaty, dirty and covered in gunpowder.”

Here’s what I love: He was in the mud with his team. He wasn’t hiding in an office or in a meeting. He was there, shirt sleeves rolled up, in the mix. That’s huge in my experience.

“He also made an effort to remember his soldiers’ names and visited their campfires before battle, chatting with them about home and expressing confidence that they would triumph over the enemy.”

Here’s what I love: Goodness, why is this so hard for some leaders? We have to know the people around us – their names for sure and hopefully something important to them (their family, their pets, their hobby, their experiences). In addition to the whole “know their names” behavior, he expressed confidence in his team. Every single person I know needs encouragement and needs to know that their leader believes in them. EVERY SINGLE PERSON.

In Bonaparte’s army, soldiers that came from humble backgrounds could rise through the ranks to be leaders, as Bonaparte himself had done. (Taken from Francesca Gino’s ‘Rebel Talent’)

Here’s what I love: The background here is that in that time, only the elite were able to be promoted. Not on Bonaparte’s team… Politics were not in his playbook, but rewarding grit was. That, in my opinion, is spot-on good leadership!

So for today, let’s win the battles with a lot of love and a focus on service and honor to the people within our ranks. Let us be like Bonaparte and work alongside our teams for the best results. That, my friends, is true service!

Lessons from the longest living people in the world… A summary of the world’s Blue Zones

You’d think with it being summer and all, I’d be reading more than ever. Well, as I shared in last week’s blog, I have been saying “yes” a lot more, which equates to not as much time to read.  I’ll get to a good balance soon. In the meantime, I finished up the Blue Zones book by Dan Buettner tonight, and it was amazing as I expected. It’s been on my list for too long.

In case you are unfamiliar, The Blue Zones is a term coined scientists coined for the areas of the world with the largest concentration of the longest-lived people. (Specifically while mapping one of the regions on the island of Sardinia. Shout out to my Italian readers and their beautiful country!) As the cover says, this book is a “must read if you want to stay young!”

Most of the lessons aren’t surprising, but it is inspiring to hear the stories of the lives of those thriving in these amazing communities. The areas can be found in small villages in Sardinia (Italy), Okinawa (Japan), Loma Linda (California), Nikoya (Costa Rica) and Ikaria (Greece). I summed up the primary lessons below, but as the picture in this blog states, having a purpose is what I feel stood out the most. That purpose is putting you square in the middle of a community of friends, family and faith that lift you into a world with less stress than most of us ever see, and a clear sense of joy and love. I hope all of that for each of you. For me, I need to do some research on how to retire to one of these beautiful places!

Lesson 1: MOVE NATURALLY. Engage in regular, low-intensity physical activity. If you are older, combine balance exercises, get on the ground and get up often, and practice staying limber and flexible. (Most of these people regularly sit on a floor (not from a recliner or bed) and get up several times a day, so they stay on the move.)

Lesson 2: HARA HACHI BU. For Okinawans, this is a phrase they say often while eating to remind themselves to stop eating when they are 80 percent full. Love the simplicity of implementing this.

Lesson 3: PLANT SLANT. Avoid processed foods and meat. In all of these areas, they are not in the habit of eating meat or fish on a regular basis, and they pretty much do not eat any processed foods. It’s all about eating off of the earth.

Lesson 4: GRAPES OF LIFE. Drink red wine, in moderation. I have lots of friends who love this one – me too! The true strategy here is take it easy with 1-2 glasses per day. When we drink any more than that, the negative consequences outweigh the health benefits.

Lesson 5: PURPOSE NOW. Take time to see the big picture. See the notes on Ikigai above.

Lesson 6: DOWNSHIFT. Taking time to relieve stress is of the highest importance, including reducing noise, napping and meditating… All things we know and don’t engage in enough.

Lesson 7: BELONG. Participate in a spiritual community. In every one of these areas there is a strong concentration on their faith life.

Lesson 8: LOVED ONES FIRST. Simple: Make family a priority.

Lesson 9: RIGHT TRIBE. Be surrounded by those who share Blue Zone values. Being around healthy minded people is essential. The key is making sure you are committed to regular time with those people.

I highly recommend the book. If you want to take the online quiz to establish where you are on your current “expected life expectancy” you can find it on the Blue Zones home page. You can also use it to develop a plan to live longer. For example, mine gave me some strategies to gain three years if I follow their advice. It’s pretty interesting if you like those types of exercises. Have an awesome weekend.

 

 

Staying within the lines: A nudge to stay on track

How in the world did I not know the term, “rumble strips?” Honestly, did you know this?Or am I not the only one who learned this as a 50-year-old? Don’t tell me I am the lone idiot, folks!

At any rate, I heard a terrific series from Levi Lusko on this whole idea of how we all need “rumble strips.” (You know, those lines or bumps in the road that keep you within the lanes… guard rails are similar in principle, but God knows we don’t want to actually hit those.)

This whole thing really hit me. What areas of life do we need some reminders on to stay focused on our lane? Who speaks into your life as a “rumble strip,” caring enough to tell you when you are out of line in your thoughts or actions? What do you personally do to ensure your thoughts and actions are aligned with your true core values? (A practical example: What movies, shows or music are you listening to that may not be aligned with those?)

Like you, I am a good person who tries to do the right thing in order to live my best life. Still, I slip off of the road at times. Often with diet or exercise. Sometimes with my thoughts about life and not being aligned fully to what I know to be true. I need to spend some time telling my “tribe” to be strong “RUMBLE STRIPS” for me.

Dear God, I hope I can handle their feedback at my age, following my personal goal of asking others to “cater to my success, not my ego,” in their honest comments.

Anyone else with me?

Rewind: Go ahead, jump the fence!

(Photo creds: We Heart it)

(This is a throwback post to 2017, because levity goes a long way.)

I told my son I wanted to do something funny today – something to add some levity to our day and get away from anything too serious.

Initially, this idea of “jumping the fence” was captured in a conversation about diversity and the need for us to not be afraid to experience different cultures, food, people, environments, etc. That is still a good idea, but what’s better today is this perspective of the image.

Through all of the stress that America has realized over the last few months, and what seems like a never-ending back and forth accelerated by social media, we really need to laugh.

So maybe this photo captures how you feel as you try to get away from your friends’ viewpoints on Trump…? Or, perhaps you had so much fun watching the Grammy Awards on Sunday that you gave some thought to changing career paths to become a rock star… You know you’ve got that image now of you on Monday morning with your blazer on and your friends cheering you on running & jumping toward your new found PATH TO GLORY.

No matter what it is, make it a demonstration of fun, friends and no doubt a lot of laughs. (By the way, that may be me struggling to even get up the dang fence.)

I’m in the mood to jump the proverbial fence into brighter territory. Into something meaningful and beautiful and truly FUN. Grab your tribe this weekend and create some memories filled with laughter!

2017, The final review: Books I loved

Reading — and continuous learning in general, really — is among the top three things we can do to grow personally, if you ask me.

I realized I wrapped up 2017 without my final reading list, so I thought today would be a great day to get this on the record. In fact, as February kicks off, I hope you will find one that interests you enough to grab a copy on Amazon or your local bookstore.

With the temperatures still hovering around freezing, it’s the perfect time to shut off the television and jump into learning! (For many, it’s getting lost in a fictional story. I seem to prefer nonfiction. Whatever you fancy, the practice expands your mind, imagination and thinking so go for what you love.)

Here are some thoughts on a few books that I loved in particular, but my full reading list from May through December is at the end:

Higher is Waiting, Tyler Perry

  • Why I loved it: Frankly I just love Tyler Perry (AKA Madea), so it didn’t matter what it was — I knew I’d probably like it. The thing is, his book is pure gold. This is where I got the idea from a December blog to ask those you love to write you a letter versus giving a gift. I did this and my boys and my mom wrote me the most wonderful, personal letters. I will cherish them forever and make this an annual practice. Books like this provide us those “gems” that enrich our lives.

Side Hustle, Chris Guillebeau

  • Why I loved it: Our current economy is sometimes referred to as the “gig” economy. What this means is that many people have made it a practice to have many “side” streams of income coming in. Chris promises to go from an idea to income in 27 days. This is a simple and practical little book that highlights ideas and stories that just might be a game changer for you.

A Resilient Life, Gordon MacDonald

  • Why I loved it: First of all, let’s just say that I really loved it! I have gifted it multiple times now and paid my boys to read this one. If they soak up even a part of it, their lives will change in the best possible ways. The book is older and full of wisdom. It is a Christian perspective on business and life. Some of the ideas that got me thinking: Who stretches your mind? Who listens to and encourages your dreams? When forming your group of close friends, you might ask: Who will protect you? Those alone are worth the price of the book and that is just a glimpse. If you only pick up one of these, pick this.

Whisper, Mark Batterson

  • Why I loved it: Mark is my very favorite Christian author. His book the Circle Maker is another I gift often. Mark’s books are full of stories, science and studies that compel you to be better and stronger. This book is about hearing from God and how we do so. I loved his story about Pure Delight: “Seven times in the book of Genesis, God steps back from the canvas of his creation and admires. It is his reaction and is expressed as “good” which comes from the Hebrew work tob… joy unspeakable. That first emotion sets the tone, sets the bar. God delights in what he does and he wants nothing less for us.”

Of Mess and Moxie, Jen Hatmaker

  • Why I loved it: Jen is hilarious and inspiring. She captures motherhood — and she has her hands full to say the least, so she knows the job well. One of my favorite quotes in the book she attributed to Brennan Manning: “Many people between the ages of 30 and 60, whatever their stature in the community and whatever their personal achievements, undergo what can truly be called a second journey. The second journey begins when we know we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the morning program.” It’s good.

Unscripted, Ernie Johnson Jr.

  • Why I loved it: This one is especially for the men but good for everyone. I pick up books like this so I can better understand my boys. Ernie is a long-time NBA commentator and the books takes us through his journey, including a fierce battle with cancer. I loved this concept: “God has given us many moments that blessed us and blessed those who seek them. I call those blackberries (blackberry moments). If get get too tied up in what we’re doing in our jobs, in the game, in whatever it is, we miss them, and when we do, we’re missing out on so much.”

Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes

  • Why I loved it: I heard 100 times how great this was before I picked it up. It IS that good. Go get this one for sure. It’s fun, useful and is exactly what the title says about making a decision to get out and say yes to things, including and especially those that scared Shonda.

Braving the Wilderness, Brene Brown

  • Why I loved it: Another amazing work from Brene who has blessed us with game-changing TED Talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” and three other terrific books. Brene is a research professor at the University of Houston and lives out a life of impact. She covers why joy and pain are collective journeys, including the need to “show up” to experience these with those you love and why it is so powerful. So many good concepts that you really should read the book.

She’s Still There, Chrystal Evans Hurst

  • Why I loved it: I think this is her first book. She comes from a family of writers and musicians. I have to say, this was an amazing read. She could have titled it different, but it is full of great insights and inspiration. One idea I noted and love, “Schedule celebration moments monthly.” Love that.

Quiet, Susan Cain

  • Why I loved it: There is a reason this book has earned so much notoriety. It’s one about introverts, and as someone who is just over the edge into being an extrovert, I adored this book and the science and thinking behind the work. This should be a must-read for anyone who works with people, including parents. One of the thoughts: “One genuine relationship is worth a fistful of business cards.” True, true and true!

Black Privilege, Charlamagne tha God

  • Why I loved it: I loved it because it is SO out of my normal category of books. The language and approach aren’t quite my cup of tea but, we MUST learn and grow by understanding others and this is a great way to do it. Charlamagne is a popular co-host on the nationally syndicated hip-hop iHeart Radio program the Breakfast Club, and a featured television personality. He tells his story in a way that makes you feel like you were a part of it. His quote: “If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this book, it’s that privilege is something that everyone can access.” It’s worth your time.

Tribe of Mentors, Tim Ferris

  • Why I loved it:  Tim Ferris may be my favorite author at the moment. Last year he wrote Tools of Titans and his famous 4-hour work week, that he wrote a few years ago, are both best sellers. This book is essentially “short life advice” from who he considers some top contemporary influencers in our society today. It’s easy to read and full of wonderful ideas. He asks the same series of questions to these influencers and showcases their answers. My favorite question was: “What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about how to enter the “real world?” With 200 answers to this, I think I sent 50 to my boys… Brilliant format and a must-read.

Let me know if you end of reading any of these. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy!

Time well spent: next-level thinking

I thought since the year is closing in, it would be good to spend one of the last work weeks focused on a deeper topic. One that just might help you as you’re closing in on your goals and establishing your big, bold and amazing 2018 plan! (We’ll get to that soon, too. I have some great content to share.)

In Tim Ferriss’s new book, Tribe of Mentors, he showcases a transcript of the same few questions he asked about 200 people that have inspired him in some way. His question was: “What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you have ever made?”

One of the stand-out answers for me was from Brené Brown who said, “PROBLEM IDENTIFICATION.”

That resonated because I like to move straight to the ACTION part of solving a problem. In fact, her comment was that “most of us are plagued with action bias and really struggle to stay in the problem identification part… ” The idea that getting clear and digging deep into what the root is would be pretty helpful, don’t you think? Here’s where my mind went:

When someone I love is struggling, it is easy to assume the problem is something obvious (their significant other, work, school, etc.). For the most part, it’s a combination.

When you can’t seem to work through a project at work easily, is it because you haven’t asked the “right” questions and haven’t been engaging your mind to next-level thinking?

When I’m even in “innovation” mode and ready to conquer the world with ideas for my clients, do I even know what their real problems are? What research can I do to dive deeper?

When I can’t seem to sleep, could it be because of something not immediately clear?

Answering what’s not so obvious seems like the perfect place to go when problem solving. Being more thoughtful, spending more time in research, asking better questions… yes please.

I’d love to know if this resonates with you!

Iron sharpens iron, and don’t you forget it

(Photo creds: Unsplash.com)

(As I continue my adventure through Paul’s Journey, I’m throwing it back to another 2016 gem. I hope it reverberates with you today in 2017 the way it does with me. Don’t forget, I’m cheering you on through your week!)

I can’t imagine my life without those that surround me and sharpen me. It is one of the lessons I try to impart upon my boys, although, I know it is different for boys. They don’t naturally share with one another like girls do, but it is just as important for them. God designed us this way.

Today, I thought it would be a great time to just sit down and make a list of those that have sharpened me and when possible send them a quick thanks…

To the teacher that invested in my life, drawing out a young girl, inspiring, pushing gently, pulling at times, but always encouraging, thank you!

To my sister who was and is the one who has the hard conversations and who also celebrates life’s important moments with us, thank you!

To the gals in my personal tribe, friends from many groups… WOW… I am far better because of all of you, thank you!

To my mentors or mentees… I have learned an equal amount from each of them, thank you!

To my boys who have always pushed me to be the best version of myself from early morning feelings, to late night talks about college life. (I won’t give up on the whole “boys need to be in community too” part!) Thank you, boys!

Who has “sharpened” you, raised the bar, elevated your “game”? I bet they’d love to hear from you this week!

Go deep: We need to build our root system

(Photo Creds: Canva)

If you’ve ever stood under a redwood tree, you know that their height is something magnificent. The extent of their root system is shockingly not deep at 6-12 feet. So, how do we account for the crazy growth, with many reaching 300 feet tall? (The tallest pine measures in at 268 by comparison.)

“Redwoods create the strength to withstand powerful winds and floods by extending their roots more than 50 feet from the trunk and living in groves where their roots can intertwine.”

Perfect! Another very cool illustration for just how important going “DEEP” in your relationships is to your ability to grow and optimize your gifts. Of course… I LOVE THIS – and so should you!

“Community” is what allows us to live a joy filled life. (“Community” also defined, as families, friendship groups, circles, tribes, colleagues… you get my drift.) To SERVE WELL, it is almost required that we are encouraged, held accountable and ultimately pushed toward our “best self.” For most of human history, this has been a normal part of life, starting out with the earliest Native American tribes and, for my generation, playing kickball in the street until well after the sun has gone down. Today, many find themselves immersed in technology and other distractions. That seems almost too obvious to state but when the shoe fits… Heck, I don’t even like to get out of my car to go in the bank. God forbid I can’t take care of business on my phone or through a machine.

I like the idea of GOING DEEP. I need to work more at this. I’d love to achieve the greatness of a REDWOOD GROVE… to lock arms together with some amazing people and establish root systems that allow us all to grow and flourish.

Go ahead, jump the fence!

(Photo creds: We Heart it)

Having the right photo or image is always important to me when I prep for a blog. I told my son I wanted to do something funny today – something to perhaps add some levity to our day and get away from anything too serious.

Initially, this idea of “jumping the fence” was captured in a conversation about diversity and the need for us to not be afraid to experience different cultures, food, people, environments, etc. That is still a good idea, but what’s better (I hope for you too) today is this perspective of the image.

Through all of the stress that America has realized over the last few months, and what seems like a never-ending back and forth accelerated by social media, WE REALLY NEED TO LAUGH.

So maybe this photo captures how you feel as you try to get away from your friends’ viewpoints on Trump…? Or, perhaps you had so much fun watching the Grammy Awards on Sunday that you gave some thought to changing career paths to become a rock star… You know you’ve got that image now of you on Monday morning with your blazer on and your friends cheering you on running & jumping toward your new found PATH TO GLORY.

No matter what it is, make it a demonstration of fun, friends and no doubt a lot of laughs. (By the way, that may be me struggling to even get up the dang fence.)

I’m in the mood to jump the proverbial fence into brighter territory. Into something meaningful and beautiful and truly FUN. Grab your tribe this weekend and create some memories filled with laughter!