To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

To Serve Well

Did you know you don’t have to jump on every train of thought?

This was a useful reminder for me and perhaps it will be for you as well. I love this idea that I heard recently, “we don’t have to jump on every train of thought.” 

According to google the tendencies of our mind are powerful by sheer number. From the web:

Tendencies of the mind

It was found that the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those thousands of thoughts, 80% were negative, and 95% were exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.

Wow… those are a lot of thoughts –– no wonder I’m tired. My mind seems to always be working … running from thought to thought. On top of that, these thoughts lead to a trail of distractions that impact us all, taking us off of one “train” and shifting us to another often before we realized what happened. Did we even have time to grab our bags so you speak before we relocated our thoughts and actions? (Research shows it takes 2-5 minutes to get refocused after we get off track.) 

And then we take this to a new level and we come head to head with do I even want to be on the train I find myself on? Why do I even care what he or she thinks or why am I even looking at those (cars… clothes… shoes) when I’m already stretched on my budget. Heck… how did I even get this thought into my head that I should search this?

An important reminder today to guard your thought life. It’s the most powerful part of our days and being on the trains that take us to beautiful destinations and lead us to places of growth are two terrific places to start. 

Where do you want to end up?

(Throwback! This post feels so relevant right now as many of us are going back to work or have family starting school!)

Pretty much wherever you want to end up, it will require you put your most comfortable shoes (and frame of mind) on. Comfortable and fun go a long way!

I believe it’s important to have a plan to achieve whatever it is we are hoping to go after personally, in our community, at work and at home as we try to answer these questions…

Where do you want to end up this week?
This month?
This semester?
This year?
During your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, etc.?
During your life time?

Intention and design are the two key terms for me.

First, identifying what I “intend” to do (think: get leaner, eat more greens, call my parents more often, send more handwritten notes, hit my Q4 work goals, etc.). Second, design a plan to ensure that I achieve that “end game” goal (carve out time every Sunday to make those calls, try Pilates, start my days an hour earlier, etc.). To me, the design plan is the most important and also can be the most fun. There are so many ways to get to the same place, and we have the opportunity to make it fun.

What can we do differently to add a bit of whimsy into our days? Instead of that lunch, what about a stroll through the market? Instead of a plane, how about a train for that family long weekend holiday?

Would love your ideas and inspiration!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: You are a badass

(Throwback! I’m throwing it back to a post from 2017 that just felt right for this weekend!)

When I made this connection, I had to share it with you.

Let’s face it, life can be tough. I was greatly encouraged to have someone point out to me the biblical reminder that I am indeed a badass –– and so are you!

As you start this week, remember, that you can get up and stand up. God created us to be courageous and brave and He gave us the tools to confront our lives with greatness! (Peace, Grace, Love – the list goes on.)

A short thought for the day, but super powerful! Have an amazing week!

“Use your words”

Throwing it back to a post from April that feels really relevant right now. Cheering you on, friends!

In a moment of frustration a few months back, a friend shared with me this basic truth: “use your words.”

This simple phrase stuck with me. The idea resonated and seemed to be applicable for many areas of life. Imagine if we all could use this thought with the end goal of developing healthy relationships? How might the world improve if we encouraged loving and candid conversations? Why had I not honed in on this phrase before? (It sure may have been useful when the boys were younger.)

Here’s the question I ask to frame this up for myself: What is the most loving thing to do or say in this situation? In every conversation, be it work, home, or some other relationships, using your words and sharing your heart is often the most loving/compassionate thing you can do. If you don’t, you run the risk of not fostering healthy relationships and likely even causing that uncomfortable tension that happens when we don’t fully share what is stirring in our soul.

Here are a few possible scenarios:

  • Claiming ground rules and boundaries. (Yeah, we still need to clean up after we cook in the kitchen.)
  • Sharing that you are really scared, that you don’t know how you are going to come out of this financially, physically, mentally or emotionally.
  • Telling a co-worker that you need them to communicate better for the greater good of the team even though you know they are feeling stressed.

I’m sure you can come up with several other useful scenarios. I locked in on this topic early in the week. I had never heard anyone else share this truth of “using your words.” I have however always found that the universe has a way of validating if we are on the right track. Just yesterday, one of my favorite blog follows, theartofsimple.net, shared a few poems and one was titled “Use your words.” I love it.

I hope that this insight offers some encouragement and useful thoughts as you embark on another week. Let’s all choose to use our words and LOVE WELL!

Celebrating the little things

I want to throw it back a little bit to an old post, but with a new spin for you. Back in August 2017, I talked about how important it is to celebrate the little things. In fact, I said so in the context of the eclipse!

But three years later, this concept feels even more relevant, as we all are looking for little silver linings amid what sometimes feels like chaos. I personally need to do a better job of celebrating small moments.

I actually used to always have a bottle of pink champagne in my refrigerator to have on hand to celebrate the little things in the lives of our family, neighbors and colleagues. My friend and blog helper, Ashley, tells me that she has a system to celebrate the small wins: She buys champagne, and tapes a piece of paper with a goal onto it. When she hits the goal, she pops the bottle. How cool?

How else can we make celebrating easy and top of mind? What do you do? Share them with the rest of us so we can adapt and adopt!

Celebrating is a gift we have on hand every day and week if we choose to use it! Seeking out the good in life is a key to happiness and to a life of serving others and yourself well.

Catch my heart.

Happy Sunday. Summer is in full swing and the days are hot and COVID-19 is creating the need for us to think outside of the box, dig deep in so many ways and re-create our routines. It’s good folks. God has us right where we are supposed to be.

I was scrolling through social media when I found this powerful message this week, and it felt immediately like it was definitely a blog topic. As always, I hope and pray it resonates with at least one person. For the full context, follow @jenniesallen.

In short, she apparently didn’t fully express her thoughts, as we all so often DON’T do, whether it be via social media or an email or text. We forget that the other parties may not know our “complete thinking” and we leave out key factors. Jennie’s a nationally-known speaker and writer, so it’s pretty important that she does so, I imagine. For most of the rest us, it’s simply about wanting to be sure we aren’t hurting others by leaving out important parts. We all need the grace if we don’t quite say it just right.

Her friend’s advice was the power punch, as the picture/meme above shows. In essence, she said we should ask God to “catch” us where we fail, where we struggle, and where we don’t quite show up as we hope to. I could think of a few other words to fill in that sentence. How about you? I know others would love if you shared in the comments.

“God, catch my… inconsistent ways, my sometimes not speaking as gently as I’d hope to my own children, my not thought-through purchases…” The list is long.

Jump in! I am praying today that God helps all of us rise to the next level, by going to the depths during this season where we truly are on our knees, asking God to fill in all of our gaps. That he may fill our hearts with grace for others (my fav definition of grace is “undeserved forgiveness or pardon”), and a heart to always seek guidance and discernment no matter our age or situation.

The pursuit of happiness: The power of multiplication and our daily habits

Most of us know the drill. One push-up leads to two, and so, on as we build our strength.

I just finished a fantastic book, ‘The Slight Edge,’ which helped me understand why we don’t always choose to take the small steps necessary to achieve the life we desire. The bottom line is that it is easy to make the decision to do the one push-up (or make that tough call, or choose greens over fries, or take a walk versus watching that next episode, and so on) and it is also easy to NOT do it!

In fact, a shocking 95 percent of Americans choose the easy route – the path of least resistance. The path that doesn’t leave us with the money in the bank we hoped for, or the healthy energy we long for, or the depth of relationships we need to thrive. Ninety-five percent! (This book is a few years old so maybe we have gotten better!)

One of my favorite chapters focused on happiness, and what can we do to pursue happiness. Here are a few of the thoughts he shared:

  1. Train your brain toward the positive, small moments of joy. Create a habit of writing three of these down daily. Be vigilant and watch yourself change toward being and thinking more positively!
  2. Become focused on the details of what made those experiences positive. Write down (is as much detail possible) the positive experience-one every 24 hours. “I walked by a house that had the most beautiful flowers… it’s as if the owner meticulously guarded them day in and day out to ensure we could walk by and be refreshed by something beautiful.”
  3. Yep, this is super easy and I’m sure you expect it: Integrate a small act of kindness into each day. My fav is writing an email to someone’s boss or leader to raise the frequency of positivity throughout every path you are on. Your kind drive-thru worker or barista would so love that positive nod.

So much truth to the simple. Here’s to a week of pursuing happiness. Let’s be dealers of happy. Let’s raise our energy in this area and watch what happens. Personal growth will abound… I’m confident of that at minimum!

“I will never give up on you” (So good!)

My son Sam was married to this love of his life, Katie, on Saturday in a beautiful backyard “COVID-19” wedding. It was one of the best experiences of my life. One of the reasons for that were the comments in the personal vows they both penned. They were profound.

If you took the time to write out your commitment, your covenant to those you love, what would you say? I am thinking about that today, and I believe it could be an impactful exercise. In the image above, I share Katie’s commitment to Sam, “I will never give up on you.” It was only one small statement, but it was power-packed. Even with the birds chirping I’m the background, you could hear the reaction from the small crowd. It was deep in meaning and everyone felt the strength of those words.

I could elaborate, as I’m sure you could on why this was so powerful, depending on our own personal narratives. After all, who doesn’t want the person they love to publicly declare this truth. It’s strong. It’s important. We all need our closest tribe to stick with us no matter what. Those of us who are older know that we will screw up (early and often), and sometimes it seems asking anyone to not give up is too big of a request.

I hope this idea of the importance of making a meaningful covenant resonates with some of you. What does your partner – or whomever you are making this commitment to – need from you? Also, and so critical, what do you really feel like you can commit to? I believe this is useful for many relationships, including close friends and family. If that is too much of an ask, how about meditating on Katie’s proclamation?

As a woman of faith, I know God won’t give up on me, and that should be enough. As a living, breathing human, I need to know I’m surrounded by those who are willing to commit firmly. I am meditating on those who provide that for me as I write this and I am full of gratitude.

Wonder is our birthright… but is risk?

I was sitting in the Ford dealership waiting for my oil change to be done when I overheard a few men chatting it up. One guy was a pastor somewhere close by, and was sharing that he had preached a sermon Sunday called, “Being at Risk.” My ears perked up.

He talked about the fact that when we are young we start on a bicycle, and that is a risk. Then we go out into the world, where we face many challenges, obstacles, and yep, more risks. My mind took its own spin on this narrative, thinking of how true his statement was. It’s risky to live in the world by nature. It’s risky to love someone, it’s risky to even adopt a pet and find yourself on never-ending parenting duty as the puppy learns to potty outside and not bite and chew on your beloved shoes and furniture. But, without the risk, would we have wonder? Even in this picture I picked for today’s blog: As a young child, it probably feels risky to grab your first lightening bug and feel it wiggle in their palm.

The world is full of risk –– and wonder.

I always share with my peers at work that as long as we go into the day and certain situations with our “eyes wide open,” and have a full view of what is coming at us, that together we can overcome anything. My mantra is “no surprises.” Being aware of both the good and the potential risks ahead is critical. Having a positive attitude is a must have, but I would say that surrounding yourself with others that have a unified vision and can show up strong… that’s the most important part.

We have a lot of wonder around us right now. We have a whole lot of opportunity to look around, take it in, rally and build our teams, and get to work finding the wonder. Sure, there is risk. Sure, there are going to be challenging and courageous conversations. There will likely be sweat and maybe tears involved. But, it will quite possibly move us toward wonder. (My mind goes to skydiving. Surely there is so much wonder after the jump to take in!)

A shout out to that pastor for telling his story. As you can see, I couldn’t help but take what I overheard and run with it. I love the thought circuit that we are all at-risk in this life. But to me, that risk is where wonder is created.

Have the best week. My son gets married on Saturday and the beauty in that is incredible. I cannot wait to share pictures later! Sending love and big joy to you all.