To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

To Serve Well

Catering to our success

I was on a panel a few years ago when I was stopped in my tracks by a quote from a fellow businesswoman. She said her most important life lesson was to stay focused on the concept that she wants others to “cater to my success, not my ego.”

It was a game changer for the way I thought about, well, everything.

During my 20s and even my 30s, I truly wanted the kind of feedback that told me I was doing great. The slightest criticism left me up at night, twisting and turning on how, why and what I could do to improve. In my 40s and even now, I crave solid, constructive feedback, even the kind that might not feel good. If I give a speech, for example, I love it when someone gives me an “‘atta girl,” but I love it even more when someone takes the time to point out where I could have expanded, improved, etc. In my personal life, I think it’s still a challenge sometimes to receive feedback you don’t really want to hear.

We of course should want that for ourselves, but it can be a bit uncomfortable to be in the middle of the “ring” so to speak. It is important that feedback is both honest and fair, and delivered with honor. We need to remember that although Brene Brown (Dare to Lead, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness) is on point with her, “Clear is Kind,” that it’s only kind if we do so with respect and a true intent to build value to the person. On that point then, feedback is, at its root form, a trust exercise. It’s best delivered within that context and in a trusted relationship. Maya Angelou’s famous quote seems to play well here:

“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I think we need to remember that when we are on the delivery side.

I could provide a multi-point process here that may help with some steps on how to receive or give feedback, but that is for another blog. Today, I think it is more powerful to simply offer up the concept that we really need to not only be okay with trusted friends and colleagues helping us level up, but that we should seek it out. We will no doubt serve ourselves and others better if we can!

LOVE BIG!

I think all of my boys would say Christmas is the best time of the year, but one of my sons in particular really loves Christmas. I bought him a sign with the message, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” a few years ago, and he proudly hung it in his room everyday of the year until he went off to college.

I love that, and I love that he understands the message of Christmas and that it’s truly all about LOVE. My mom-heart hopes that he will hold on to this truth all through his life.

Loving well is central to our hearts as humans. We are meant to love and often we get it right, and sometimes we don’t love as well as we can or should. Regardless, we strive toward LOVE and the world usually magically gives it back to us.

As we head into this week, my prayer is that we love well – the best we can! Even when the world sometimes doesn’t give it back, we press forward and continue to love. Thanks to the Christmas story, we know the truth is that God so loved the world, and He gave us His only son…

And our hope in this wacky wonderful world is real and beautiful. Enjoy every minute of this week… For many this is what most believe holds the MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR.

Love my friends! Love well!

It’s time to spread joy

“It’s time to spread joy” is one of my favorite go-to concepts in the workplace.

It’s a reminder I started years ago (no doubt borrowing the idea from some brilliant person.) to ensure we were all aware of how the days can go by without recognizing those around us who are shining brightly during the day to day grind. On a routine basis, sending out a friendly reminder for everyone to take a few minutes to reach out, thank, or otherwise acknowledge at least 3 people is all it takes to seriously elevate the world around you.  

It occurred to me, that I haven’t done it lately, and that this can be done really as a solo act. I think I’ll put a reminder in my phone to do just this every week or two. It is a basic human need to want to achieve purpose. For someone to take a moment to throw a virtual “confetti” parade by sharing a few kind words  on someone’s behalf is a game changer not only for them but for the energy it provides you and the environment. 

In this busy season, I hope that JOY is spread all around our communities, in homes, work places, and everywhere you find yourself.  

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Pause, reflect, celebrate

Happy Sunday and welcome December, the month of culmination… love… joy and celebration. I’d submit that this is true only if we allow it. If we pause. If we reflect. If we set our intentions early on to achieve peace and resolve to find open spaces of quiet.

I’m committed to find this in the next 29 days – to pause and embrace solitude when I can and have quiet conversations that center around true joy. Getting to the depths of…

  • What brings me true peace?
  • Who brings me full joy?
  • What activities create a positive energy that leaves me wanting more?
  • Where can I see growth?
  • How can I curate more days of fullness and beauty?

These are not easy questions. I need to recognize that and take time to go all in. I would love for you to walk this path with me this month. I’d love to hear your stories and I’d love to know what questions you may add to the list. At the end of the month, let’s celebrate this reflection and forge into 2019 with a fresh view of God’s purpose for my life.

I am praying as I write this that you find yourself right now in a moment of gratitude and commitment to use the month to find the joy you so richly deserve. I believe that is God’s plan for all of us… to fully feel the love, joy and peace available to us.

Unexpected Gifts, Part 2 – Taking count & giving thanks

So, the entire idea of “Unexpected Gifts” I mentioned Tuesday has me on a path to identify and take account of those that I have experienced this year. I hope you will find some value in the idea that no matter what a possible “shit show” you think your life can be in some seasons, there are quite literally gifts at every turn.  (okay, so that was a strong word, but the point is that in the midst of even the toughest times, crazy blessings show up if you are paying attention.)

I really don’t want to overuse examples of my life, but I think it may be useful as a thought starter for you all.

January-March: At that point I had a growing consultancy business. It was a time in my life where I felt God had me in a holding pattern. Although I was completely unclear about where I was headed, I was constantly sent not only encouraging people, but clients that needed my service. Most of these I had never met and all came at the perfect timing. (Also, I turned 50… I think that is a gift of some sort of new stage of wisdom, right? So far, it’s a lot of extra time on the treadmill to keep up. Haha)

April-June: Our family was faced with what many of my friends are facing right now… The impact of aging parents and a health crisis. My mother suffered multiple seizures and all of a sudden our world as we knew it stopped so that we could attend to the situation. So many unexpected gifts here, including a renewed focus on how precious these years are, to quality time with relatives that we don’t normally get to connect with as much. What a powerful reminder that my world is filled with dear friends from all parts of my life that stood ready in whatever way was needed, to a deeper realization of the vast needs in our health care system. Since health care is my career, this opened up my eyes to see the incredible opportunities for improvement we have to address from the patient side. (Also, without my consultant business, getting away for a lengthy time period would have added way more stress – another gift).

Also during this time, I was recruited to lead Partners in Primary Care (senior-focused primary care clinics) and Transcend MSO for the Kansas City Community. The picture is a small part of our team. These people quite simply blow me away with their commitment to our community’s seniors and really to one another. The clinics have only been in KC for a year in October and these people are family as if they’ve worked together for years. That is a far reaching gift that will impact their lives and all around them in their homes and those these serve.

July-September: God placed some pretty incredible new friends in my life this summer. I will absolutely never get over how we are given what we need at the perfect time. These people have gotten me out of the house, and have shined a new light on the incredible importance of a tribe.  I am certain I have not seen a group love each other so well.

So, those are a few thoughts. I have at least 10 more significant examples and I think you will too if you take the time to really audit these unexpected gifts.

Have the best weekend leading up to our week of thanks with family and friends.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Breathing in all that is good

In high school I was a part of a group that was introduced to the power of controlling our thought processes through focused breathing and channeling in the good and out the bad stuff that tends to create anxiety. It admittedly has helped over the years, when I remember to do it.

If you ever find yourself in a place where you are upset or out of sorts, take a minute to breathe deep and thinking of calm and peace. Then with a strong exhale, push out all that is causing this distraction. For me, that exhale sometimes feels like there are 10 things that went through my mind…

This practice – which we now call meditation – is a hot topic in our increasingly-hectic world. As we start the new week, remember that we are all human, and we weren’t designed to take on all that we try to on some days. (Heck, we don’t even have to try. The issues just seem to come our way, at times – fast and furious.) 

The following scripture supports this idea that we are better if we are able to focus our minds in the right direction:

“Set your mind on things above, not earthly things.” Colossians 3:2

My prayer for you this week is that you will try to do just that. Keep your mind focused on the fact that we are here to serve well and achieve our purpose – the rest is simply a distraction. I hope that this idea of breathing in peace and breathing out the rest really is a game changer for you.

If you want to dive deeper into meditation, there are so many resources.  One I have found helpful is the CALM app. It offers a daily 10 minute guided meditation exercise I started using earlier this year. 

It’s better — truly better

Rewind! This post is a throwback to last fall. An oldie, but a goodie!

I am always fascinated by what makes a place “all of the rage.”

You know, those cult-like places where folks like us stand in line for hours waiting for our share of their awesomeness. In KC, there are several of these, but my favorite stand out right now is an ice cream place called BettyRaes.

(Photo creds: Canva)

It is SO HOT that Trip Advisor named it a top 50 “ice cream shops worth traveling for.” And it’s only a few years old, if that. Believe me, folks do travel for it and most days the line is out the door. But why? (Other than the s’mores sundae with coffee ice cream — pretty much is the best thing I’ve ever had…)

My perspective: It’s better. As in truly better.

It has created a unique offering via it’s menu. The service is better. The shop is community focused.

As Seth Godin, the famous marketer, would say: it’s achieved the notion of BETTER.

As we think through how we serve better, let’s think about what else we can do better. Be kinder, more focused on those around us, more open minded, more giving, more courteous drivers, more patient (that one resonates with me!), etc…

If you are in business — profit or non-profit — how can we be deemed “worthy” of a line out our door? We start by looking in the mirror and identifying areas where we can be better, and then we dive deep to get to worthy… and ideally, sustainable.

Your ideas are welcome!

(Here’s a song to get you in the mood and the mindset!)

Iron sharpens iron

(Rewind! This post is throwing it back to an oldie, but a goodie, because you can never be grateful enough for the people you get to share this life with.)

I can’t imagine my life without those around me who sharpen me. It is one of the lessons I try to impart upon my boys, although, I know it is different for boys. They don’t naturally share with one another like girls do, but it is just as important for them. God designed us this way.

Today, I thought it would be a great time to just sit down and make a list of those that have sharpened me and when possible send them a quick thanks…

To the teacher that invested in my life, drawing out a young girl, inspiring, pushing gently, pulling at times, but always encouraging, thank you!

To my sister who was and is the one who has the hard conversations and who also celebrates life’s important moments with us, thank you!

To the gals in my personal tribe, friends from many groups… WOW… I am far better because of all of you, thank you!

To my mentors or mentees… I have learned an equal amount from each of them, thank you!

To my boys who have always pushed me to be the best version of myself from early morning feedings, to late night talks about college life. (I won’t give up on the whole “boys need to be in community too” part!) Thank you, boys!

Who has “sharpened” you, raised the bar, elevated your “game”? I bet they’d love to hear from you this week!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Spiritual stamina

So love this. Stamina, endurance, staying power, fortitude, strength, energy, toughness, determination, tenacity, perseverance, GRIT.

How is your stamina today? How about your spiritual stamina? (Spiritual: “relating to or affecting the human spirit or soul…” Thank you, Google.)

When we go through our days, there is no doubt we encounter obstacles. We are all flawed people and most of us work, go to school or somehow interact with other flawed people daily. That fact alone makes it 100 percent likely that we will encounter challenging events, conversations etc. and will need to respond out of wisdom instead of emotion.

One of my absolute favorite stories in the Bible is found in 2 Chronicles where Solomon when he became king, asked God for wisdom above all things. We can and should all ask for wisdom. Wisdom allows us to take a deep breath and not allow ourselves to be caught up in an emotional reaction that we didn’t really intend or hope to have. Wisdom is healing.  Wisdom makes us better.

I for one am asking for wisdom right now. I pray your week is absolutely everything you want it to be!

The crazy power we have to speak life

Super short post today.

We have this great opportunity each and every day to speak life to ourselves and to those around us. Are your words speaking hope to others? Are they building them up and creating a culture of excellence all around you? Are they always decent and fair and spoken with an intention to help and support? Are you even taking the opportunity to speak these things every chance you get?

We have this incredible power to literally change the room, to change the conversation, to be a bright light in someone’s day… and as overreaching as it may sound, to change the world.

Have an incredible weekend.