To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

To Serve Well

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Hold the tension until something beautiful comes forward

… As in the miracle of childbirth itself.
…As in that first real fight and talking through it until you both grow (my friend calls it building relationship muscle – I like that!).
…As in diligently digging yourself out of a tough financial situation.

All of these examples, while valid, don’t speak to the true tension most of us are feeling on this day. The voice of America is loud right now and God help us that it produces a path forward – a change in direction… a call for us all to not stop short of pursuing justice and equality until it is achieved.

This tension, and the beauty that could come forward after, is like deeply inhaling the mountain air. There is joy and peace in those places after much work has been done.

With so much heavy news over the last few months, and especially these last few weeks, I’m even more committed to this idea that we have to keep holding on… pushing thru. Beauty can come. I believe that.

Brené Brown’s wonderful “Unlocking Us” podcast episode with actors Jay and Mark Duplass on the Power of Paradox was deep and captivating.  The conversation –– not at all intended to take on the weight of the tensions we are facing in America in this moment –– offered the listener an opportunity to ignite thinking around tension, and how we might deal with it: pushing ourselves through the pain, committing to one another, staying unrelenting and strong.

Scripture shares the following:

“To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He might be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:3 KJV

I’m not typically a King James advocate (preferring instead something I can relate to more easily), however this is genuinely spot on from my perspective.

The foundation on which we stand started with struggle, and God’s word offers us comfort in knowing that we can expect beauty from ashes. It would be too hard to believe, had I not have had personal exposure to the stunning reality. I have witnessed all manner of struggle… emotional and physical abuse, poverty, illness among those who were far too young, and even hate crimes and murder. I have seen God’s redemption in my story and in those of some dear loved ones at every turn.

I have also seen many stories, like those we face in America right now, resulting in tragedies that prove we are far from achieving equality to all. Stories that should bring tension to and haunt all of us. Stories that should ignite us to push harder, to act in some way…

I want to hold the tension along with my friends that represent every minority group, and to do so until we find something beautiful together. I believe we will find more tension first, but as a Christian believer, I hold strong on that if we stay tuned in, pray for direction and act with love that we can press forward together. We can heal and find beauty. I feel that. I also feel this will require a fight … a fight forward and toward unity.

On Wednesday’s blog my goal will be to provide a short list of actions (We must ACT versus just say/post/share.) that all audiences and ages can participate in. For today, check out the website www.bethebridge.com. It seems to be a great starting point.

If you happen to have an idea please reach out to me. Thank you!

What are your daily rituals of excellence?

If you want to lead an epic life – a life of purpose – we know that you need to incorporate steadfast daily rituals that help you achieve your best self. You could argue that a routine is more important now more than ever, as our “normal” is turned upside down. Today felt like the right time to adapt this particularly-relevant post from a few years ago!

I am a sucker for any book, article or speaker that offers me ideas of what may be worth adding to my routine. So today, I am sharing 13 of my daily rituals. That’s my lucky number so it had to be 13. Hopefully some of these resonate for you!

  1. Get moving. My grandmother used to always say, “You have to get up, even if you don’t feel like it.” So get moving!
  2. Incorporate greens into every meal, if possible. Yep, I am even throwing a few with some lemon vinaigrette next to my morning meal.
  3. Drink lots of water! I carry my water bottle everywhere!
  4. Use dishes you love. I had a local potter (Erica Iman of Urban Potters) make my plates, bowls and mugs for the house. I got the idea from a hotel I was visiting for business. They served up a simple dish in a super cool bowl and I loved it. I realized that something as boring a salad or bowl of soup can be special if you know it was made by hand by someone who loves their craft. That is a gift to me.
  5. Spend time in nature. A walk with my dog is my personal favorite, but any time outdoors is the goal. Some days it may even just be rolling the windows down in the car and enjoying the breeze.
  6. Start the day by reading from the Bible. I have done this for many, many years now and I am still learning and growing.
  7. Learn. I incorporate learning into my life anytime I can. If I’m not reading, it could be a podcast while I’m driving or walking. I can’t get enough.
  8. Send an encouraging message to a friend or colleague.
  9. Try to catch the sunset and snap a picture if possible!
  10. Read and relax. I almost always end my day with a bath and take time to read. This time to unwind and get out of my head is just what the doctor ordered to sleep well!
  11. Listen to music. I need to learn to listen to it more, because I love it. There is nothing like throwing on some Kenny Chesney, Fleetwood Mac, Boston, Hillsong, Elevation Music, Lionel Richie, Alicia Keys, John Mayer, etc. It can shift your energy on the spot.
  12. Positive social media talk! I am very intentional about keeping my social media feeds positive. I unfollow those who aren’t consistently positive and thoughtful.
  13. Pray. I believe all prayer forms are great, but I personally want to work to go deeper and truly connect through prayer.

Your turn! I’d love to hear some of yours, so please, drop a few in the comments!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?

Happy Sunday! It’s Memorial Day weekend and no doubt most of us are thrilled to have an extra day off for rest and refreshment. It is good to remember that Memorial Day is designated for us to honor those who lost their lives serving in active military duty. Many also use this day to celebrate loved ones that have gone on before us. The occasion sometimes brings solace and sometimes brings loved ones around the dinner table via backyard BBQs.

What is most important this year – and every year – to me is that we focus on what is beautiful and honorable in this one life we have. Those moments that are made possible because of the sacrifices of those who paved the way for this generation.

I wrote this phrase down a few weeks ago, and it likely came from a podcast or someone pushing others toward inspiration.:“What is the most beautiful thing you have EVER seen?” I have held onto it for a bit, feeling that there are so many ways to answer the question. My mind went to the depth of our country, of those serving and protecting us. It then went easily to Greece and the almost unbelievable beauty of the water and white buildings and then to a myriad of options – my grandparents holding hands while walking into church, babies and toddlers giggling non-stop, fields of flowers and nature trails leading to the water… I could go on for hours. After some thought, I chose the image above. 

The picture is from our family mission trip to South Africa in 2012 led by the One Life organization. This is of my son and a beautiful child he was playing with. The look on his face is beautiful. The moment was beautiful. This is what joy looks like to me – unbounded joy is beautiful. It’s the most beautiful thing no doubt.

We went because I wanted to expose my boys to different cultures. However, I am 100% sure the greatest impact was on me. I could not get the scripture, “The harvest is plenty, the worker’s are few,” out of my mind for months and it still pops up frequently. Always pushing me to ask myself if what I am even doing is enough. There is so much work to do both inside of our country and outside, but the contrast in true need can only be found by firsthand interaction with other cultures. This work is an opportunity for all of us to find, seek and create beauty. To serve one another. 

Today we honor those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. We are all here today because of the sacrifices of these men and women and their families. May God always help us to hold deeply and provide us heart’s to serve others. That notion brings beauty.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: God meets you at the level of your expectation

Rewind! This is a throwback post that was speaking to me this week!

I heard this strong message last week and it captured me. The very thought that God meets us where we are is not only comforting, but galvanizing. Whether we are in a mode of praise and gratitude or on a path of seeking and searching… He is there. If we are boldly moving forward with fresh thinking and new plans… He is there. If we find ourselves in a matter of hours (or moments) circulating through emotions of love and struggle… He will also meet us there if we are open to Him.

If we, for some reason, cannot get to our faith, we can build on a committed focus in 3 key areas (although I’m sure there are many more – so consider this a start):

  1. Surrounding ourselves with a community of people who are able to lift us up and provide both celebration and accountability.
  2. Prayer. No matter if it’s a two word prayer (i.e. “help me”) or a specific and verbose prayer – prayer is POWERFUL.
  3. Reading, listening to or watching messages that contain scripture and teachings that encourage our faith and help us grow in our understanding. One great benefit of our generation is that we have access to almost any type of media available that helps us however we learn best. I love that.

I hope that your faith will grow this week and that it is truly a week of happiness and extreme joy! Let’s all raise our expectations and allow God to step in with whatever we need right now.

“I didn’t know I was hungry”

Have you ever found out something profound about your life after that season was over? Rachel Held Evans started chapter 19 of her fantastic book, ‘Searching for Sunday,’ with this profound concept that stuck with me instantly: “I didn’t know I was hungry.”

Let’s unpack this concept a bit more…

  • Have you ever been in a relationship but didn’t feel loved? Recognized? Seen? Heard?
  • Have you ever been in a room, office, church or otherwise full of people, and felt alone?
  • Have you ever had such an uneasiness that you couldn’t “find the feeling” that was keeping you unsettled and stealing your peace?

That feeling is hunger. In some cases we are starved.  Starved for the basic needs that sustain us as humans: love, community, peace. The sentence blew my mind. Have you ever been hungry and didn’t even know it or have the capacity or knowledge to “name it?”

I have had a season like that. In fact, if I allow myself to “go there” or dig deep enough, I’ve had a few. I have to laugh a bit because a few years back, my son said, offhand, “Mom, I could have told you that.” I had to seek outside counseling to hear this truth and right under my own roof my son recognized certain patterns. He recognized I was “hungry,” but I sure didn’t know it.

In fact, that counselor pointed out that we are either pursuing, running from or staying within the moment. I am either a pursuer or a runner. Perhaps most of us are? (Oh, how I’d love to have the knowledge of a good therapist! Thank God for those people!) Until the last few years, I did not even know that the staying or lingering with the discomfort – or perhaps even the comfort – of a relationship or situation was a “thing” and really essential to understanding and growth. When she pointed it out, it was a light bulb moment. It was in this understanding that I could begin to recognize moments of hunger.

One of the things I like to do in these short little insights, is to spur us to think deeper in a wild attempt to better understand ourselves. I feel like perhaps we can serve others better if we do so.

Have the best week! I hope this post helps move us toward joy and toward a life full of everything God has in store for us. I love that notion of moving toward all that is good and hopeful.

The power of curiosity

I love kids. Their laughs are the best, and their questions are incredible. Some studies show that kids ask an average of 40,000 questions between ages 2 and 5. That’s 200-300 per day. (via Berger)

How many questions did you ask yesterday? The estimate for most adults is 20. (Quora) To me, curiosity is a key to great happiness and success in life. Nurturing our curiosity is a springboard for growth and knowledge, and I have always found the theory that “knowledge = power” to be more than true.

It seems like a really great time to IGNITE our curiosity. On Saturday, I had the chance to enjoy the late afternoon sunshine and explore a local park. Nature has so much to teach us and I found myself feeling a bit childlike again at the wonder of Spring… new life in bloom from the animals to the plants. What fun it is to see so many people and families connecting through nature during this time. For kids of all ages, curiosity provides the following:

  • Helps us to be better problem solvers
  • Helps us overcome our fears (“Hey, is that snake venomous? Is it safe to hold it?”)
  • Helps us develop empathy when we focus on asking and clarifying versus judging
  • Leads to humility
  • Creates a higher level of self awareness as we question our own whys, beliefs, and consider if there are other options we should consider

On the business side of things, making the case for developing a culture of curiosity is a game-changer for organizations that embrace the curiosity super power. In a stellar article, “The Business Case for Curiosity,” Fracesca Gino points out that cultivating curiosity at all levels helps leaders and their employees adapt to uncertain market conditions and external pressures. (Hello, COVID-19!) “When our curiosity is triggered, we think more deeply and rationally about decisions and come up with more creative solutions.” 

I particularly loved this quote from former Google CEO, Eric Schmidt: “We run this company on questions, not answers.” 

Above almost all actions we can take in today’s world, we need the fuel of questions to ensure we approach new challenges with rigor and fresh thinking. My thought is that we should use this time to raise the game on our own curiosity, look around and fill in the gaps, and serve one another in new ways. (And hey, I just realized its Earth Day on the day this posts…. what a wonderful way to honor this beautiful world by bringing forward a desire to learn all we can about its wonders!)

Connectedness forges resiliency…

… and its accrued effect results in stronger, healthier and braver humans. We are all going to suffer, but togetherness is more powerful than pain.”

Jen Hatmaker’s new book, “Fierce, Free and Full of Fire” releases this week officially and it’s pure gold. The excerpt that I put in the graphic is case in point. She covers everything from the need for us to be in community to spiritual curiosity, and all with such thoughtfulness. She easily – and with humor even, takes the reader back in history and brings in science to showcase the truth of human behavior and need. It is one of those books that you just know the world conspired for you to read at just this very time.

I wanted to add why I honed in on the above quote for today’s insight. Quite simply it is crucial. It’s a game changer. We instinctively know this, thus the immediate reaction for many to figure out how to use Zoom, Google Hangouts and other technology to bring us together with our tribes right now.  It’s been such fun to see the posts of family and friends enjoying each other’s company in this new world.

Here’s what I noticed: The first few weeks we did this well. We scrambled, pivoted and found a way forward. We are now in what I think of as the next phase: We have to stay resilient and diligent toward connecting.

Perhaps, even for some, the first few weeks were a welcome change from the grind. Extroverts and introverts alike rejoiced at the time to reboot and find stillness. As we move into yet another week, we must reach out early and often and, if needed, force ourselves to find points of connection. I have a couple of friends and family members that we text often, but I know in my heart that the voice is needed right now. As much as I’m not a “phone” person I need to change that this week, now more than ever.

Let’s be the people that lift up, bring energy and humor and love to our tribes… Text and email are great, but this week, let’s pay attention to actually embracing our loved ones with voice inflection and, if possible, a virtual face-to-face! I truly believe that her thought above is so true: this will bring us collectively greater…

Resiliency
Bravery
Strength &
Health

Cheering everyone on and sending love and prayers –

Step aside, fears: 5 ideas to pursue the good right now

I don’t normally write about faith, and specifically my belief in God, during the weekday posts, but given our current environment it feels important. Someone shared with me that in the Bible there are 366 references to “Do not Fear,” which for 2020, a leap year, is exactly 1 time for each day of the year. Isn’t that interesting?

I have to tell you, fear is real… At first I didn’t really like using that word, but I decided to look it up for the blog and I have to say this sort of resonates: an “unpleasant feeling, triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined.” Triggered. That is exactly what is happening. And if you are like me, and have a hard time looking away from your phone when you are otherwise not detained by work, a conversation or head down in a project or good book…then you are constantly being triggered from all matter of sources. Sometimes it’s funny images that add levity to the situation, and other times it’s the gripping news coming from hot spots around the world. All said, we have to be careful with what we are feeding ourselves in order to maintain as much peace as is possible.

What approach or idea may be better? My pastor shared the message in the image above on Sunday (online), and it’s written in BOLD in my journal now. The note I wrote to myself is what’s most important to me… Just how do I best pursue that right now?

Pursue defined: To follow… to capture… to chase…  

I can visualize chasing JOY right now! In fact, CAPTURING it and holding it close at every turn. (Side note: To me, God is love and love is joy and pursuing God is in fact chasing after what He desires for us.)

How about some practical ideas on how we can do this? Here are 5, but it’s so much more fun for you all to share your ideas, so please do that below!

  • Make a commitment to sharing what is good and fun! Some of my team members made a game of sending selfies with our “masks” and that was great for bringing joy into the day. One of my college friends sent over pics of her car decorated for a parade her and the other teachers created to drive through their district neighborhoods. That is chasing joy! My son sent me our favorite Twitter feed today:
  • Set a firm limit on how much screen time you will allow yourself… Seriously.
  • Take advantage of this unexpected time. It is a gift. Extra time for your kids, for special projects, for dreaming up ways to serve others.
  • Pump up the music? What’s your all-time favorite band? Music genre (hello ’80s!)? Make a playlist, have a dance party, sing-along or whatever to get your mind moving in a positive direction…Allow yourself to feel the shift in energy.
  • Surround yourself with positive! Positive messages, positive people (you may need to call or reach out to your most positive friend, or the one who always makes you laugh). Be so intentional about this that every day you wake up, commit to pursuing the positive! 

Your turn!

I am praying for our world, our city and for each of you and for your families. You are all a blessing! Let’s pursue service, love and joy – and find our fears step aside.

Train your attention on what is beautiful

So… what is beautiful to you?

  • Mountaintops
  • A child’s belly laugh
  • Flowing streams
  • A trail bike ride, meandering amongst nature with your best friends
  • A fireside chat (along with s’mores, of course)
  • The morning sun rolling in
  • The aroma of a fresh cup of coffee
  • A blue bird meditating on your deck
  • The arts – music, an amazing painting, a well-written movie…

So many options.

Today more than ever, it seems like an ideal time to focus our energies on training our minds to hone in on the beauty we are surrounded with. The noise seems to be ever increasing, trying desperately to take us off course.

Mindfulness, meditation… both have been culturally relevant words that have been making their ways into our communication streams in the last few years. I personally think it’s time to take notice if you haven’t already on this push for us to literally train our minds. It requires intentional effort and fortunately for us there are so many great resources. The best for me is silence and a good book and in a perfect world sitting on a lakeside dock. I’m also a fan of the Calm app and Peloton’s meditation options. Others do puzzles, crosswords, etc. 

It would be great to hear some of your ideas! Chime in below if you have time.