To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Simple Thoughts Sunday

Simple Thoughts Sunday: “I looked around the room and saw…” The power of cultivating friendships

I had the most amazing experience last night. My dear friend Cindie did what I think many of us dream of doing and the “some day” part of that comes into play and it doesn’t happen. She hosted a few of us for what we thought was our annual Christmas gathering (and of course, watching our KC Chiefs play), but this year she brought all kinds of magic moments. She set the most beautiful table, she put so much care and thought, planning and intention into everything from the menu to her incredible toast to our life long friendship that it left us all spinning.

She started her toast with a simple, “I looked around the room…” and she went on to note either experiences or gifts that adorned her home and her heart with memories of our friendship. That friendship started in the neighborhood when all of our kids were about kindergarten age and has been steeped and sowed over lake trips, soccer sidelines, pool gatherings, birthday parties, holidays, graduations and now weddings. There has been so many changes for all of us over the last 20 years, moves, new jobs, heart break, love won and love lost, the passing of parents and much of the normal journeys of life.

One of my favorite pastors, Adam Hamilton, often asks us to think about who our “stretcher bearers” might be if we passed. His point is that it is helpful in life to cultivate strong friendships and to surround yourself with people that bring the best out of you and that will stay with you through “it all.” It’s powerful.

As we go into celebrating the last part of 2021 and this week, a focus on the birth of Christ, it seemed useful to me to share this story in hopes that we might all do whatever we can in this season to acknowledge, call out and love a little deeper those long lasting friendships that literally form and mold our lives. They infuse life with joy and hope and that is to me, a huge part of the Christmas message.

Here’s to wrapping up all of the good and not so good parts of the year and reaching forward with all of the love we can give this week.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Pointing to the promises

Advent officially kicks off today, and it’s quite a season of celebration. My son and his beautiful fiance will be married this week, and how appropriate is it that we are headed fully into a season that just absolutely shouts LOVE and JOY? I’m not sure if they knew when COVID-19 forced them to reschedule that they were selecting this magical week, but here we are! (Perhaps it is God’s divine way of showing us His hand is in every detail, and that He gave Tucker and Libby this gift as a wonderful reminder every year on their anniversary of the power of love.)

As we launch into the holiday season formally, I love this idea of the season “pointing us to the promise.” The Advent devotional I picked for this year via Proverbs 31 Ministries is appropriately titled the same. The beauty of this season is that we have an entire 4-week period where most of the world around us is literally on a joy seeking mission. Celebrations abound & decorations dress the halls and fill our homes with reminders that it is truly something special… a season set apart.

Advent serves as a time to prepare our hearts. To take the time to really let our hearts catch up with the beauty of all that is good in this world. As this week’s devotion pointed out, “He promises love, life and light that the darkness cannot overcome.” I am so thankful for this and so many other promises and for holding on to a faith that allows me to know I am always surrounded by good, even and especially when it is hard. As I go through this week and through the next four leading up to the ultimate celebration, I am praying that my faith would be strengthened and that each of you might feel the power in the season.

I am especially prayerful for the wedding, and that Tucker and Libby might find warmth and delight in their moments leading up to their wedding and that they will always keep pointing to the promises of God. Would you join me in that prayer? I think that would be absolutely wonderful and know they would value the gesture!

Have a wonderful week. Cheers to a season of celebrations and hearts filled with peace and joy.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Hang out in the glimmer

Isn’t this great? I was in a meeting yesterday and this was the phrase that was used. HANG OUT IN THE GLIMMER. In other words, spend a bit of time soaking up the good on this earth. Even consider spending some time really recognizing your achievements.

It’s closing in on the end of November, and one thing I know for sure is that most of us fall into what Brene Brown calls “forboding joy.” This means that we don’t let the JOY IN. “If you ask me what’s the most terrifying, difficult emotion we feel as humans,” she says, “I would say joy.”

Her work in this area has been groundbreaking. It points to a challenging conversation about vulnerability and really the spirit of the American culture in many ways, in my opinion. Depending on what generation you were born into, we generally are strivers and, from our initial experience with school, are graded and groomed to achieve. And while she acknowledges that calling joy “terrifying” may seem strange, the reality is that the fear is about the idea that the joy may be taken away. We often refer to that as, “When is the other shoe going to drop?” In her terms, “What we do in moments of joyfulness is, we try to beat vulnerability to the punch.” That is so true and so good!

Here’s the thing on this Sunday: This week is literally designated to turn our attention to a spirit of depth that brings us into the holiday season. I would say there is no better exercise that we could all do than to turn inward and identify (yep, make a list) all that is good, all that has sparked your happiness this year, ALL that you and those you love have achieved, big or small. After all, it is in the small steps that we achieve big things. Every last bit of progress toward being physically, mentally, emotionally, financially or spiritually healthy… count it ALL AS GOOD AND JOYFUL.

When you create that list, hang out in the glimmer of all that is good. Do your best to release anything that doesn’t allow you to rest there. I feel like this message my new friend gave me is profound. If we can imagine ourselves surrounded by a gentle confetti storm of good raining down on us, I think we might be one step closer to how heaven must feel.

Cheers to a truly beautiful week ahead. May you glimmer like crazy!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Paths paved by faith

Our human thinking is often so limiting. We question God and wonder where He is in all of “this.” Whatever “this” is in the moment. Do you ever stop and think maybe God is taking you on this path for a reason? Maybe you think you want something, and maybe God wants you to have something better. Something that might exceed our greatest desires. Steven Furtick’s message this time a few years ago was incredible. Here was my takeaway at the time:

“Faith cannot rest in God fulfilling OUR agenda.” If we “zoom out,” there may be a purpose that is greater and a plan that is bigger than we can even conjure up in our simple minds.

I am believing this today my friends. I often find myself in a place of wondering. It is a familiar and well-worn path in my mind, to question where God is taking me. Despite being under some great teachers in my life, I get dragged in by my own reasoning. I am grateful today that God’s logic is not even close to mine and that His ways are greater. I am counting on better paths and in God’s great design to exceed my wildest dreams.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: I need you to know…

I thought a lot this week about both the beauty and fragility of life. With so much whirling around us, we could miss the extravagant world. As you go into your week, I wanted to leave you with a few thoughts that I hope remind you of who God says we are… It’s helpful to hear that we aren’t defined by our status, personality, possessions, habits or opinions of ourselves or others. Focusing our mind on truth is always a good idea. So, let’s fire up a short list.

I need you to know…

That you have everything you need to fulfill your purpose. (Col 2:10)

That you are forgiven for all of your mindless and even your intentional mistakes. Good to know, because I sure do make a mess sometimes and need this one! (1 John 2:12)

That you are the light of this world. Each of us are charged to bring forward the good and brighten the path for those around us. I LOVE THIS ONE! (Matt 5:14)

That you are MORE than a conqueror… fully equipped to to deal with what this life hands to you. ALSO.. AMAZING! (Romans 8:37)

That you are created for GOOD WORKS… Let’s BRING ON THE GOOD TOGETHER! (Ephesians 2:10)

That you are guarded by God’s Peace… WOW, this one is so essential… Anyone else? (Philippians 4:7)

My friends, there is SO MUCH MORE… you are blessed, protected, accepted, healed, surrounded by God’s mercy, never alone, sufficient, STRONG, joyful, and absolutely WONDERFULLY MADE!

It’s a hard world out there some days and weeks and even years. Yet, we are so much more than we often call to mind. You are also covered in prayer and I am hoping that you have the most incredible week ahead.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The power of understanding our role(s)

“One of the very best things we can do as moms (fill in the blank here… dads, daughters, sons, wives, husbands, friends…) … is recognize only God is good at being God.”

Lysa Terkuerst

Her post goes on to say that although it is natural for us to be fearful and want to do whatever we can to prevent our kids from making choices that make our heart race and tears flow, we are better off if we recognize that there is a better way. She shares that we can only recapture hard moments and make it better by praying the POWER of God, the PROTECTION of God, the PROVISION of God, and the PERSPECTIVE of God’s wisdom into our children’s lives. What God is doing behind the scenes may not happen as soon as we’d like, and yet, over and over there are is tangible evidence of that truth.

I would add that not only might it not happen as soon as we’d like, but it may not happen HOW we would have liked it to be done. This message spoke to me because I oftentimes find myself with friends or family that are being challenged by what is happening with someone they care about; who are experiencing, either by choice or happenstance a really hard season. When someone you love is making bad choices that is often really hard to sit with – painful really. Most of us have had some life experience that leaves us believing we should not only share our advice and story, but that our lessons are going to be someone else’s as well. If we could only fall short of that, and instead shift to asking a few thoughtful questions and then leaving it to prayer.

This of course is not easy. It takes a constant self check to ask ourselves if we are trying to enforce our will or desires in these situations. Are we making it worse possibly by our constant worry and inability to listen and over”sell” our personal strategy or how to list? I’m not sure about you, but I know that even in my life’s bigger decision making, I easily create narratives of what makes sense or doesn’t. I have to hold myself accountable for ensuring that these decisions weren’t manifested in my mind, but instead are aligned with my core values and where God is taking me. (Also not easy, but another post on reading those proverbial tea leaves.)

All in all, we aren’t God (thankfully!), and it would do us good this week to remember that using the powerful weapon of prayer is what we need to get it off of our worry list and in the hands of someone who has proven over and over through time that they can handle it just fine! Have an incredible start to November!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: A week of courage

Ryan Holiday is a terrific author. I have read almost all of his books (Ego is the Enemy, The Daily Stoic and Stillness is the Key (my fav)). His latest, “Courage is Calling” is worth a week of blog posts. I hope you will find these as wonderful (and helpful) as I have. Ryan’s books are easy reads – small but mighty.

On Sunday I try to focus in on how faith coincides with key insights that help us build better lives. Courage is a hot topic in this arena, and even those who weren’t raised around the church are usually familiar with the David and Goliath story. The epic battlefield scene that called on the least likely warrior (a young boy) to lead his tribe to victory in defeating the town giant. Sometimes life’s giants call us to overcome our fears with a strong dose of courage. How we might do that is worth some dialogue.

Lucky for us, there are countless people throughout history who have displayed crazy bravery. From Nelson Mandela, to Malala, to Teddy Roosevelt, Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks or perhaps your own parents or grandparents. The stories are worth learning and relearning in my opinion. In his writing, Holiday spends quite a bit of time focused on Florence Nightingale. I didn’t know just what an amazing human she was, and what a beautiful example of every day courage she demonstrated. I’m planning to spend more time on her in Wednesday’s blog. Today, I am focusing on perhaps the key to conquering our fears…

“We must make courage a habit,” is what was my greatest takeaway when you strip it all down. There are endless examples, from athletes who didn’t expect to hit the game-winning goal, to the lawyer who stood in front of the mirror reciting their rebuttal over and over, to the teenager who walked the halls before school started to get a bit more comfortable with that feelings of entering their next stage of life.

He continues, “How can you trust that you will step forward when the stakes are high, when you regularly don’t do that even when the stakes are low? So, we must test ourselves.” That is soooo good to me! The idea of how we navigate our own everyday lives by practicing the good we hope to produce seems fundamental, yet complicated. The decisions we make even when thinking about helping others with our resources comes to mind. Sometimes we are too afraid of not having enough, that we don’t give generously, even though we know we could meet a need of our friend or co-worker. Ruminating on the idea of practicing... testing ourselves doing everyday good is worthy of our thinking and of our efforts.

As we think through the idea of testing on the big things, It is clear that we must start with small things. The adage, “Do one thing each day that scares you,” is a step in that direction. I believe we must always be pushing ourselves to the other side of our comfort zone.

I recently finished up my scuba diving certification and it was way out of my comfort zone. Honestly, that surprised me, because I’ve always been an avid swimmer, but the idea of carrying around an oxygen tank on your back and going 30 feet under seems daunting. Nevertheless, I made it a personal goal to do hard things, especially as I get older. The instructor almost didn’t get me to finish because I was quite adamant that I just didn’t want to, and frankly didn’t see the point during that moment of near panic. The bottom line is that I, for some reason, was too scared. He ultimately was successful by getting me to just “go on a little swim” over and over until I eventually built up the courage to keep going so I could pass the certification. It may seem like an insignificant example but I assure you, this is how I and others have done almost everything that was scary to them: by continuing to move forward, one small step at a time.

Regardless of if it’s deciding to push yourself physically, to become emotionally uncomfortable for a bit while you address a hard conversation, or if it’s something spectacular, it all starts by practice – forward progress in the direction you are headed. David did this during his daily practice as a shepherd boy, and most likely so did everyone else that has encountered a courageous moment.

My faith gives me courage, and my friends do as well. My boys give me this unbelievable desire to stay strong and be courageous in all that I do. I hope that you will feel called to be courageous and in one way or another, be inspired to practice courage daily. Sometimes just getting through the day should be considered practice. Sometimes we have to think through what areas of our lives have we really not prepared ourselves really well? What stress or pain points need confronted with a bit of Rosa Park’s bravado? I have a short list and imagine you may as well.

As I close out today’s post, I leave you with my son’s favorite Bible verse. It’s a good one and he picked this in 3rd grade, proving it is never too early. “Be on your guard. stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.” (1 Corinthians 16:13).

I think I’ll go try to do that this week! Anyone else?

Simple Thoughts Sunday: “You are strong and brave” – The power of provision

Sometimes it is so challenging for me to choose what to write about. I have so many swirling thoughts that trying to lasso in the one God wants me to focus on can be challenging. I try to be mindful of what speaks to me and what might serve you all the most. On this Sunday, I hope that at least one of you finds some good in these humble words. So, drum roll please on where my heart went for this post…

I’m reminded over and over again this week that God’s provision is literally spread around like confetti if we search for it.

Lysa Terkeurst (@lyseterkeurst) is one of those women who provides mentorship from afar. She’s an author and fellow mom, and recently she made a comment that spoke to me. It was something to the tune of “God’s word is the only provision you need.” In my experience, that’s about right. If you tune in, you might find that the direction or guidance you need is right in front of you. In fact, God’s word illustrates beautifully the primary insight of this post, which is that of the “provision” of friendship.

The people you find yourself surrounded by are an example of God’s provision in my mind. The people who seem to step into the story at just the right time; who send you an encouraging text, or share a photo just in time… The people who God chose to surround you at that exact point in your life. What a gift!

Who else loves the truth that you have a God-given tribe around you, and that they were designated for you personally, just for this moment? On the flip side, who else wants to be the person chosen to be that friend to someone else? I love to be there for others, and want to be able to give my time, my presence, my love … especially in times of need. Lysa shared some terrific advice for us as we think through how to be a better friend in a tough time:

“Instead of (asking) ‘Are you okay?’ text this: ‘You are strong and brave. If you ever have a day you forget that, I’m here to remind you.'”

Lysa Terkeurst

Isn’t that great? It really spoke to me, both as someone who would love better ways to help others, but also someone who needs this personally.

I have felt the challenges of the last year on my soul. The accumulation of all manner of stresses has left me wondering what in the world is going on. In all of that, God has clearly appointed some beautiful people to be that provision for me, and today I am especially grateful for that gift. I hope that some or all of you may be reading this in case I haven’t personally thanked you. I know I need to find time to do way better at sharing my heart on this matter. It occurs to me, that some of you may not know you are filling that role because you didn’t know I was in this phase*. (Anyone else not big on sharing the not so fun parts of life?)

I hope that you realize God has given us the provisions we need in this life. He has given us his guidance in stories. He has provided us leaders, like Lysa, with wisdom to share, countless friends, and thankfully has provided us eyes and ears to be alert, and to listen; hearts to encourage, and minds to know to step in when needed. All of these should be counted as great blessings, for I believe they are the very roots of our lives, holding us regardless of the changing winds.

I’m praying for you all today – for you to continue to grow and learn, and to desire to run toward God and every dream and every hope in your heart.

*If you don’t know my entire story, you may not be aware that it has been a heavy lift literally from what I remember as 3 years old forward. I have written it and will publish it at some point, but in the meantime, feel free to ask and I will share individually. I share those only to say that my writing does not come without true experience.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: What an unbelievably beautiful world

I am fairly sure I could write on that blog headline alone for months. So many ways to approach that.

On this Sunday, I am struck by the beauty surrounding us all. The people God has surrounded me with alone showcases his absolute goodness. How about you? Who in your circle brightens your world? Isn’t it an amazing thought to consider? My head swims with why I am gifted with such incredible people. I know for certain I have done nothing to deserve that, and yet…

In Ephesians 3, verse 20, we find that God promises that he will provide more than “all” we can ask or imagine. Folks, I, like many of you, have faced many trials and sometimes the logical mind just cannot wrap it’s simple thinking to create a narrative you or I can understand. Many hard realities just flat out don’t make sense, and YET, we are promised good. Over and over in my 53 years, I have witnessed this truth. It makes my head spin with joy really.

Today’s simple thought is a call to stop and truly look around and take inventory. No matter where you find yourself, at a mountain top moment in life, or in a “WTH” moment (Google it if you need to ? ), your mind will be blown away by the beauty surrounding you. I went to a church for a season that always ended the service with “God is good all of the time, and all of the time, God is good.” That is true.

Have a wonderful week ahead and enjoy every last bit of this delightful season we find ourselves in.

Under construction: Currently in design mode

So thankful today for the many readers who have reached out to ask if I’m still writing. Why YES, I am! I should have posted something to let the group know that I am “remodeling” the writing model.

I started writing the blog initially in May of 2015. Six years have flown by. I initially started 3 days a week and then went to 2 with less than a handful of short breaks. It has been an incredible adventure. So many of you have provided such wonderful insights and encouragement to me along the way. I often have someone tell me they share this weekly with their entire team, which brings me incredible joy. It’s often the posts I worry didn’t resonate where I have someone reach out to me with a heartfelt thank you as it somehow met them at an important time on their journey. That’s the whole reason I feel God led me to do this and continues to lead my ideation and content creation.

Over that time, we have posted more than 750 blogs, tens of thousands of email newsletters opened, and too many emails and comments to list, but the engagement is appreciated and so helpful to everyone reading. The power is in us not feeling alone as we navigate the complexities of life.

The next version will be a bit different but same goal! 

In preparation for that, I would love for you to go to To Serve Well and sign up to become an email subscriber. Google analytics gives us great data, but we really need those with emails to sign up formally. As I prepare to publish my book, the industry uses email subscribers versus Facebook, Instagram or Twitter followers as their “true” followers guidelines. The goal is to reach more people in hopes of providing words that uplift us all and give us thoughtful questions to consider as we strive to serve the best in our homes, communities and workplace.

One more thing… These are always intended to be super brief, because we all know time is precious. Feeding our minds with what is good and helpful is critical. All said, I know many have converted to listening to short video format on podcasts or other mediums. If you are one of those please let me know. I am in the “design” mode and definitely thinking through a short-form podcast, but want it to truly be in the spirit of this blog. (Think a one-minute read or listen.) Let us know! Ashley, (my superstar editor and publisher) and I would love nothing more than to meet you where you are in reducing the noise to only the work that actually helps achieve our purpose in life.

Thank you so very much! Still praying for you all daily, still cheering you all on! I hope to be back up around back-to-school time!