To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Growth mindset

Where will you put in a stake in the ground this year? This month? This moment?

A strong American idiom: “Put a stake in the ground.” As in, what is the first step you are going to make? What move are you going to make to get something started? How are you going to rally the troops? (adapted from American Idioms Daily)

As I said Sunday, I love the start of a fresh year. While one could argue that anytime is a good time to reevaluate, edit or even cast new visions, the start of a new year offers hope unlike other times to me. It’s as if we can leave what we don’t want to bring forward and somehow step out the front door freshly dressed and with the vigor needed to make great things happen for ourselves and others.

I love the visual above because it draws to mind us claiming our stake… our goal… our moment. So, what will it be?

  • You want to use your voice this year to make changes. Perhaps it’s writing, perhaps speaking… perhaps it’s in one-on-one conversations where the action is going to happen. Perhaps you want to be the one that makes sure where you live or work is full of extraordinary kindness every single day.
  • You want to finally walk or run that race? You have decided that the mental dialogue that stops you from “thinking you can do it” is not going to win this year and you are going to take a step forward toward that goal.
  • You desire to forgive that loved one that wronged you and you just haven’t been able to let it go.
  • Your hope for a FUN life, full of joy and depth (and less fear about health, money, or you name it) is going to be attacked once and for all and you are going to have more days that meet your expectations.
  • Your greatest dream would be world of true unity and that you are going to use your time, talent and gifts to help us move us all forward…

So many stakes to claim. So much that God wants for us in this life, no matter our situation. While we may walk out tomorrow morning with a cold, brisk wind confronting us, we have the ability to lay out the “must haves” for our lives. To both name them and to make them happen. I believe the world is conspiring for what is good, honorable and true. I believe that social justice is imperative and it is all of our responsibilities. I believe that we are called as humans to think bigger and to realize that we are more powerful than we could imagine if we will push ourselves a bit past the limits we have given ourselves.

Here’s to a year of putting our stake or stakes in the ground and developing action plans to make sure we make progress. Here’s to great health, wellness and more laughter than you’ve had for many years. Let’s make it count.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Welcome 2020

This idea of God establishing the work of our hands is just what I need and possibly you as well, as we launch into the first full week of the new year and the new decade. I don’t want anything or anyone else establishing the work that I do, and I also am keenly aware that I need God’s favor at every turn. No matter where life finds you right no – in school, in retirement, at the onset or at “prime time” in your career – this message should resonate.

The word of God has a lot to say about work. I fully believe that no matter our age or stage, that we are all to be working toward using our energy and minds to fulfill our purpose. One of my all time favorite verses:

“Whatever you do, work at it will all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Colossians 3:23-34)

God calls for us to be faithful with what He has given us to make the world, at this very time in our own generation, the best it can be. If we all do this, our work and service will elevate us all.

For many, the last several days have given us an opportunity to rest and otherwise be away from the normal daily grind. This time provides us an opportunity to prepare our hearts and minds for our work in the year ahead. Hopefully you have spent some time asking yourself some clarifying questions to get you focused on what you hope to bring into the year. I am a full-out nerd about this time of year … the thought of a blank canvas to dream and imagine … is incredibly energizing to me. The exercise of drawing a child-like diagram that features the key parts of my life – family, spiritual, career, health/wellness, financial, etc. – and then drilling into “must have” actions to ensure I achieve these goals has been a necessary step for me for many years.

So, what about you? It would be great to hear any ideas as it relates to good old fashioned life planning and goal setting. How do you approach this new chapter that brings you renewed energy and enthusiasm?

I’m so thankful the word of God has given us both examples and guidance on the topic if we will take time to read and apply. The very idea of this blog is that we are to serve well, and serving is the way we honor those around us and God. We do this best when we are actively working toward using our gifts, time, talents and resources.

Happy, happy new year! I’m so excited to start afresh and am ever grateful for your support and encouragement.

Let’s dive right in to the new year- Here we go 2020!

I couldn't resist using this picture. Is anyone else eager for that type of sunshine right now?

Most of you have likely spent time reflecting on 2019,  putting thought into what you’d like to accomplish in 2020.  If not, perhaps today is the day to set aside time to really think through where you have been, what you have learned, and who has impacted your life. This effort always makes me feel like I have a more clear picture when working toward the plan I need to put in motion. They say that writing down your thoughts and goals is a key part of achieving them. I totally agree with that. To me, diving in after you write them down is the only option. Taking action not only feels good, but it drives us forward.

What areas of your life do you need to take action on? So many of your ‘one words‘ were so good and inspiring. How do you plan to make that happen? What does peace look like when it’s played out? More time alone to reflect? A deeper prayer life? Time set aside time each morning? What does joy look like? More time with friends? Family? Pets? Doing what fills your soul? What do I need to let go of to optimize my life? How much of an impact can I make?

As you dive in, please know that you have a tribe of people supporting, encouraging and praying for you! I truly believe we can all accomplish whatever it is that helps us be our best. Of course that means, serving well!

Here’s to a more than meaningful and joyful year ahead and a decade that increases our capacity for love and justice. Thank you so much for taking time to read these brief insights. Cheers to you all!

Top reads for 2019

This is such a tough post for me, because I truly love all books – and for totally different reasons. I think that’s likely true for all of us, that we gravitate toward what we individually need to hear at that particular time in this season of life.

All of that to say, I am going to attempt this anyway. After all, I hear from some of you that you’d love to see another post on top books – and I aim to serve! This one is long overdue, since my last book post was in… April. Oops! You can find other posts related to books I love in the archives under “book reviews.”

Here are my top 10 for the year, each with some excerpts that highlight why they made the list (The first three from my April post):

Notorious RBG, by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik – No matter your political interests, this is such a good read. This absolutely fun read about the life of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is terrific in 100 different ways. I love all of it, but this quote in the beginning in particular: While reading her dissent in a voting rights case, she quotes Martin Luther King directly, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice,” she said, but then she added her own words: “If there is a steadfast commitment to see the task through to completion.” Now that is true and powerful.

The Art of Gathering, by Priya Parker – So much amazing work in this book. I’d grab this one for sure if you like to read topics that appeal in multiple areas of your life. One simple idea here: “If you want a lively but inclusive conversation as a core part of your gathering, eight to twelve people is the number you should consider. Smaller than eight, the group can lack diversity in perspective; larger than twelve, it begins to be difficult to give everyone a chance to speak.”

Joyful, by Ingrid Fetell Lee – A really interesting and fun read that covers the full gamut of joy. One idea I appreciated: “I began to notice that while the topic of work-life balance comes up frequently in media, play is largely absent from the conversation… The most joyful people I know manage to hold space for play in their adult lives (think playing a sport, family game night, etc.).”

Shoe Dog, by Phil Knight – This was on everyone’s top list in 2016-17, but it took me a while to dive in. It did not disappoint, and could arguably be my number one book. It’s a classic tale of starting from the beginning, finding your path, and what is required (absolute commitment, focus and imagination) for top-level individuals and companies to achieve success. Phil is the founder of Nike and you can imagine the power of the story. The power of any great story is found when purpose is exposed. This line captures it well, “I walked out of the room, I thought of that phrase, ‘It’s just business,’, It’s never just business. It never will be. If it ever does become just business, that will mean that business is very bad.” Profound truth.

Women Rowing North, by Mary Pipher – The inside cover reads, “A guide to wisdom, authenticity, and bliss for women as they age…a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face ...” There are so many valuable nuggets in here, but I highlighted this one: “One day I told her that I greatly admired how she handled her difficult situation with such good cheer. She looked at me and said, ‘Mary, I have no choice about the leukemia, but I can control how I deal with it. I might as well act right and have something to feel good about.'” That’s so true about almost everything in life. We get to decide. Another that spoke to me: “On further reflection, I realized that I often become my own worst enemy, constantly signing myself up for combat duty when I really want to stay home, pet my cat and read a book.” (Okay, not the cat part, but Jennie and Gretchen, that’s for you!)

Range, by David Epstein – This read takes on the idea of whether it is best to “specialize” in a field/hobby/etc., or if it’s better to have a “range” of interests/focuses/preparations. Notable authors such as Malcolm Gladwell and Daniel Pink praise Epstein’s work, and this is indeed a solid read on the topic our path to excellence in life. I loved this: “Instead, she told me, in a clever inversion of a hallowed axiom, ‘First act, then think,’ Ibarra marshaled social psychology to argue persuasively that we are each made up of numerous possibilities. As you put it, ‘We discover the possibilities by doing, by trying new activities, building new networks, finding new role models.’ We learn who we are in practice, not in theory.” So good. As we go into 2020 and a new decade, where do we need to develop new possibilities?

The Moment of Lift, by Melinda Gates – From the inside cover: “How can we summon a moment of lift for human beings?” And also: “I had to write this book- to share the stories of people who have given focus and urgency to my life.” Those “people,” those “stories,” are from countries and cultures across the world, whom we have the power to help “lift,” thereby using the gifts God has given us to help all of humanity. It is about helping others use their voice, and build lives and generations by challenging the status quo. Who is giving urgency to my/your life right now? Where and who do we need to pursue to ensure we use your gifts and achieve our purpose? Those questions are true for every single age. It’s a useful question for launching into the new decade.

The Innovator’s DNA, by Jeff Dyer, Hal Gregersen, and Clayton M. Christensen – This book hones in on 5 skills for innovators using stories from the great innovator’s of our time, Apple, Google, etc. It’s a true business read, chalked full of quality content, research and stories we can use. One such example, “Google holds an ‘Innovator’s Challenge’, four times each year. In this competition, employees submit ideas for management review. Winning ideas receive the resources necessary to maintain momentum. Innovation at Google is very democratic; it lets market forces determine which ideas move forward.” I am always challenged by these types of reads and look forward to any ideas I can grab and use. Perhaps you are as well.

Rhythms of Renewal, by Rebekah Lyons – One of my favorites, and the topic of a blog post from October. Why do I love it? I love the topic itself, I love the simplicity of every single chapter and I feel like this book alone makes me better. That is saying a lot. One thought that is powerful as you go into the new year: “When we rest long enough to take inventory, when we ask God to cultivate our hearts, talents and passions according to the purpose he planned before our days began, we’ll find new horizons opening up, horizons beyond all we could ask or imagine. It’s never too late to re-establish what you want your life to be about.” So good.

Stillness is the Key, by Ryan Holiday – This one ties with No. 9 above on the absolute best for me for 2019. I wrote about it twice this year (Oct. 22 & Oct. 28) and one thought I loved: “The answer is that while we may naturally possess stillness, accessing it is not easy. One must really listen to hear it speaking to us. And answering the call requires stamina and mastery.” To me, all of this is most worthy of my attention and incredibly critical at this point in our world. We need to be still and we need to think and listen well in order to serve well… be it at home, the workplace, the community, and yes, making key decisions in 2020 as it comes to new leadership for our country – and beyond. We need to urgently focus on removing distractions.

Praying for each of you to have an incredible finale to the decade and to have the focus to start strong on a new year this week ahead!

You control the invite list: Will you invite the inner critic or the inner advocate?

If you have followed this blog for a bit, you will know that I’m a raving fan of Peloton, and specifically, the trainer Robin Arzon (@robinnyc), who is flat-out motivating and exactly what I need both on the bike and from a leader! Cardio isn’t my game normally, and I have had to learn to up the discomfort in order to get results and achieve optimal health. Robin’s commentary during any workout levels me up and offers useful thought-starters that help in so many areas. The one in the image above, was a particularly strong takeaway – as in, stop the bike and write it down… now.

I loved the focus on who we “invite to the party” in our head. “Do I invite the inner critic or the inner advocate?” I am generally strong on self motivation but honestly, with physical exercise, I am not forgiving of myself. In fact, if the script in my head was played for all to see, it may surprise those closest to me. I am not usually happy with how hard I can push, and I often am thinking while trying to “level up” that perhaps I can’t even go further…. this by the way is generally a bunch of self served BS. It even surprises me to be honest. Robin calls this out and I’m not sure (before that experience) that I could have recognized the tendency, and the potential impact on my ability to achieve what I’d like to.

I call this out for the simple reason that I do realize I am normally a more than glass-half-full person. It is important for all of us to realize that the stories we tell ourselves can either advocate for our success or can limit us greatly. This of course would fall true in other categories besides physical fitness… our diet/nutrition, ability to have strong relationships, achieve our career goals, remain strong as we age, etc.

With my “always” goal to be as brief as possible, I’ll leave you with this insight for today: You in fact control the dialogue in your mind. I feel if we would all make it a goal to really listen to what is on our mental “reel” through the day and in different situations we may just be surprised. By acknowledging it, we can reverse the trend and make a true impact for the better. What a great time of the year to plug this idea in and become stronger for the new decade ahead!

*As a side note: You also control the who and what you invite into your mind over this holiday season. Be sure to plug in the outcomes you want… whatever brings you peace, joy, faith and love seems like a great place to start.

Amplify the YES: Shake off what doesn’t build you up (the best you can)

AMPLIFY – Make larger, greater, stronger, extend, expand, increase…

Who could handle some AMPLIFICATION right now?

Expand my wisdom? Yes please!

Develop stronger patience? Why yes, I think I will!

Increase my energy? Heck yes! I would love that!

We can all use this message. We all need a reminder to AMPLIFY the good. We need to remember to manifest the positive, to essentially bring on the power and the good – as in truly amazing. I fully believe we have all been given the strength and gifts we need, be it through our own or from other people that have been placed in our paths.

I was with a friend recently, sharing the outcome of how I felt a serious conversation was going to play out. I felt I was being realistic with my not-so-positive response. She quickly reminded me not to put that negativity out into the universe, and instead that I should expect it would go well. I have to say, I still think I’m more than likely right, but so is she! I need to amplify the potential positive here. Easier said than done, right?

This week I am going to do my best to focus in just that way. At the same time “shake off” anything that doesn’t build up. What, or who, builds you up? Makes you have a spring in your step? Brings you energy? Flat out makes you the best version of yourself?

On the flip side, what brings you down? How can you stop or reduce that influence? What boundaries do you need to put in place to protect yourself? All important questions.

My great desire is that you will be built up; that you will close 2019 amplified. I hope you bring on the power of your best self and do everything you can to reduce the friction of what doesn’t. In fact, I’m praying for that right now as I write this. Have a tremendous week.

Slowing down enough to hit the ball

Wow, Ryan Holiday’s thought here is flat out on point.

It’s World Series time. As October closes, we are reminded that another year is ending. That means it’s go time! It’s our time – all of ours – to connect, to hit the ball, to move toward whatever we need to achieve to live our best life in this season.

I highlighted a small part of his new book “Stillness” last week and I could seriously blog the rest of this year on this one short read. ‘Stillness’ alone is a mesmerizing concept, as it sometimes seems unattainable. I have read and listened to stories of professional athletes being so mentally zoned in, so focused, that they are able to shut out the crowds and distractions. They practice and practice to get their minds so quiet that they can monomaniacally concentrate on their one goal: to hit the ball; to connect with their passion.

How do you slow down enough to connect? What actions do you take on a regular basis to clear the path you are on so you can walk or run safely with confidence toward your destination? Fall is a great time to take in nature, and being out in it is perhaps my favorite way to find space to breathe deeply and clear my mind. Exercising can sometimes to do that, as can walking aimlessly through Target or TJMaxx. (Not just me, right?) Working in the yard, and (sadly) even shoveling snow does it for me, too.

It would be fun if some of you shared your ideas. We can all benefit from ideas and strategies to connect with our goals in a better way. If we can do this, we can certainly serve better. After all, that is why we are all here… TO SERVE.

Immersing ourselves in all seasons! (Bring on the fall leaves & eventually even the snow!)

There are some seasons of our lives we would rather just skip over. Some actual seasons, such as winter, that we may be compelled to do the same. (I’ll take the first snowfall and then give winter back…).

The idea of not skipping seasons hung with me for a bit, and I thought it may with you as well. I have found, through reflection, that all seasons are important and frequently critical to my personal development and ability to succeed better in the next phase. Whether that growth be emotional, spiritual, financial or professional. If I would have somehow been able to skip them or chose not to grow through and with them, I flat out wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have the inherent wisdom I may have gained, and I certainly couldn’t share it, with the idea of helping others through a similar passage.

I have always believed our lives evolve with an intentional plan. A plan that God put into play when he designed this crazy beautiful (and also, separately, crazy & beautiful) world we live in. I believe we learn best from others sharing their journey and when we live out the seasons head on, taking the good …and the “not so much” as they come. When we commit to continuous growth and learning, we can use the stories and experiences of others – and our own – as arsenal to make for an even better season next time.

So…we are in the middle of fall, (AKA football season, all things apple, pumpkin spice, fires, jeans, flannel and, of course, boots!). I’m not sure where this season finds you in your life, but I hope that you will honor it for all it’s worth. Honor it with gratitude and eyes and ears that are wide open to see and hear where you can serve yourself and others the best. Even when the winter seasons come around – and they always do – we can choose to find joy and embrace whatever it is with the spirit of a child, ready to take it ALL ON! 

*Side note, with fall being a busy season, we are changing up the days we post to Wednesday/Sunday from Tuesday/Thursday/Sunday. I'd love your feedback! It is such a gift to be able to write and hopefully inspire, and I (of course) always want to know how I can do that best for those who take the time to read these short insights!

Don’t park at the place of your pain

This was one of those messages that hits hard. Have you ever “parked” at the place of your pain? As in, have you ever just “sat with it” for way too long, allowing it to simmer and create tides of sadness, fear or frustration in your life. I’m sure most people can either recognize this from personal experience or in observing a loved one who is not quite able to move on down the road (so to speak).

Here’s the thing, whether our pain was created by something we did to ourselves (think a bad decision) or by someone or something else, it still impacted us. We should be okay with owning that, because after all, we are living, breathing and fully human. Sometimes life is just hard. We do, however, have a choice to stay in the pain, or to spend the energy we need to in order to shift outside of it – and learn the lessons it provided.

The most important aspect of this to me, is that we need to give ourselves and possibly others the grace to do just that. My favorite definition of grace is “undeserved forgiveness.” Our lives are meant to evolve and we are best when we observe, learn and grow.

We shouldn’t “park” in our pain. We should extend grace generously (yes, even to ourself), and as quickly as we can and consider the pain a gift that helps us eventually live out our best life.

Mission critical: Getting to critical insights by asking better questions

I have tried so hard to start asking better questions, but I’m not sure I’ve come close to mastering this skill yet. I’m talking specifically about work, though it could (and should) be a practice in every conversation. It is a classic lesson to listen critically and to ask questions that get to higher level of critical insights.

How do the most innovative companies and their teams get better? You guessed it. Through asking better questions.

I just wrapped up The Innovator’s DNA (Dyer, Gregersen and Christensen), and “questions” are a major focus of the book. The book is a must read, in my opinion, for any business and any wannabe or current entrepreneur.

Here’s the thing: Asking good questions helps eliminate constraints, generates greater value, and provides answers to move us toward a better understanding of the stories we are telling ourselves. Asking critical questions provides clarity for not only us, but for others in the room. Essentially, this practice expands our capacity to go deeper still and pushes us and/or our organizations toward excellence.

So, how do you go about asking better questions? There are books for that – and if you find a particularly good one, let me know! – but also by asking others who are also focused on growth. Thus, my focus today. How can we help each other? Hopefully by offering up our thoughts on good questions. What are some strong examples?

Here are a few to get you thinking. The first one came from someone last week at my leadership offsite, and I really liked it.

  • If you had a magic wand to achieve the goals on this project, what would need to happen? What barriers could leadership take away?
  • What is holding you back?
  • If we did this or that, what would happen? Worst thing? Best thing?
  • Why? (The rule is asking at least 5 whys to get to the root cause…)
  • What is the smartest next step to take?

Your turn! Let’s all try to ask some better questions this week and elevate our teams and ourselves for great success!