To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Growth mindset

Bringing home the language of a strong manager

(Quote in part taken from a tweet from @ValaAfshar)

The original thought on this was the language of a strong manager. That’s true, I think a good leader definitely uses these simple but not always easy statements during a normal week. I have also learned over time that these are true for parents and friends and possibly others I haven’t considered yet. Let’s break it down:

  1. I am proud of you. Pretty straightforward? When is the last time you heard this from your leader? When is the last time if you are a parent you shared this with your children, toddlers to adults? (Shout out to my mom, who just told me that this week.) Lastly, a friend? “Friends are the family we choose,” right? If that’s true, then keep in mind that some friends don’t have family, and you may be the only person that can remind them how they impact you and our world.
  2. I trust our team. This is a little more complex. I do agree a “team” needs to be reminded that the core of a team is trust in one another. Trust built over time and the knowledge that we are in this together can propel teams to heights they never thought possible. I’ve seen that in action many times. This one may not hold as true for a group of friends, but it sure does for family: “I trust that we will get through this stronger, I trust that we are going to create a environment of love and respect in our home.” I don’t know about you, but I think this one needs to be played out more often.
  3. What do you think? Seems pretty obvious to me. I mean, we ask each other if others like our hair, our outfit, our project, etc. Do we think to ask our kids, mom, aunt, friend, what they think about our decisions? Do we include those that may hold us accountable? A favorite quote: “Cater to my success, not my ego,” can likely show up in this conversation. Who do we need to ask this question on something more challenging that might help us achieve the next level of success or happiness?
  4. How can I help? This one probably happens more at home and with our friends. But at work, how often we ask our co-workers how we might ease their load is something to consider.
  5. I was wrong. I am sorry. I have heard others actually say they wouldn’t apologize to their kids. They “are the parent” after all. While that might be true, I personally believe we as parents need to apologize when we show a behavior that we don’t really want our children employing in their lives. Think: raising your voice, walking away from a difficult conversation versus dealing with it directly, etc. This one is HUGE. It’s of course important in every aspect of life, but I think remembering to show our children we are human (at all ages) is important and will result in healthier conversations and families. That’s one perspective at least.

Anything missing? I’m all about getting better, one small step at a time!

Grounded and grateful: 3 reasons to reconnect with friends

What fun it was to spend a day with my college sorority sisters on Saturday. I have to say, after not spending any quality time with them over the past 25+ years, our time felt like we were still 19 hanging out talking about God knows what.

Today, my hope is that you will find value in connecting with some of your friends from the past. Here are a few reasons why it’s a good idea:

  1. They GROUND YOU! Sure, we have all moved on and experienced life, but these gals know me. They know me before the career, the family, the kids, the deaths, the divorce… Yes, life may change you, but your CORE is the same, and surrounding yourself with the folks who knew you “back then” is refreshing. I’m certain that if we would have had access, we would have permed our hair, put on some thick blue eyeliner, and sported some killer 1980s outfits!
  2. They INSPIRE YOU! This one I hadn’t really thought of and it was the most surprisingly cool part of the weekend. These ladies have gone through so much and despite it all, they have persevered and came out a quarter of a century or more later better and more beautiful. I felt like I could get through anything by hearing their stories.
  3. They PROPEL YOU! I know we were friends and we probably cheered each other on during college to some degree, but let’s be honest, at that point in our life we are all trying to get through, to achieve, to aspire, to move up the ladder of life. In other words, I’m not sure we propelled each other forward on purpose. What I know now, is that the encouragement these ladies gave me over the weekend is enough to keep me pedaling and pushing ahead.

We all need to be in “community,” and connected, and although I have an absolutely wonderful group of friends and colleagues, coming back to “home base” for me was notable. My encouragement is for you to reach out, schedule some meaningful time, tell the stories that “made you” and where you’ve been, what your hopes are…

It may be some of the best time you have spent in years… It was for me!

Raise a glass to those that help you be you!

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

As we all get prepared to spend the next few days with those we love, and that God has surrounded us with, I thought this quote was ideal.

Acknowledging those that help us along the way – that cheer us on through prayer, kind words or even constructive criticism – is so very important. It takes a bit of extra time and thought, but being intentional about this can truly deepen your relationships and increase your own happiness.

There are times when we get overwhelmed with people or processes – or just life. If we can stop and take time to write out the reasons we appreciate those people it really shifts our thoughts to the positive.

I think I’m going to write a letter of blessing to my boys and maybe a few others. I am also going to spend some time during the pre and post-holiday meals to thank those that have had true meaning in my life, such as my grandma Zillhart. Every year, she pretty much stuns us all with the most amazing prayer of gratitude before our family holiday meals. That simple prayer enriches the lives of my boys and myself. The little things… they are the big things.

I hope that you will take time to “call out” those who help you achieve your best and if you’d like I know the readers would love to hear your story!

Why we must be on the look out to STEAL GREAT IDEAS

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(Photo Creds: The Robinhood Foundation, NYC)

Just 2 years after I graduated from high school, successful business man Paul Tudor Jones founded the Robin Hood foundation in NYC with a goal to improve the lives of those who live in poverty.

For 28 years now, the organization has been at it in a unique way, combining investment principles and philanthropy to find, fund and create programs that support their goal. Over time they have expanded to also support relief efforts, such as those needed with Hurricane Sandy. According to last year’s estimates, giving to this foundation provides a 15:1 return on investment, which is significant and a place that donors can feel good about. The key statement in all of that to me, is that they CREATE…solutions, ideas, programs that move toward their mission.

I chose this topic today, because the idea of being innovative is always top of mind for me. One of my personal philosophies has always been to be “ON ALERT FOR GREAT IDEAS.” If you take time to look around – especially outside of your own industry, family or environment – you can count on being INSPIRED and even yes, STEAL THOSE IDEAS and CREATE YOUR OWN from that seed that was planted.

Our communities need all of the INNOVATION that we can create in order to solve the problems and issues of today. I encourage you to embrace this idea, keep your eyes and ears open and MAKE AN IMPACT. If you get some extra time, explore Robin Hood’s website, it’s a cool story.

Simple thoughts Sunday: Thank you for bringing me through

blog_852686_2973785_1477837915(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

There is a phrase that I like to share… “If God brings you to something, he’ll bring you through it.” I think that sometimes God didn’t really bring us there, but nevertheless, there is no denying that we are FRONT AND CENTER in a battle.

There are biblical references for a few of these situations, temptation- 1 Cor 10:13, protection -Psalms 91, and I’m sure many more.

I happen to like this thought because sometimes we find ourselves in situations or places and we just can’t understand why we are there. It can be downright surprising. In those times, we have to realize that once there, we need to focus our mind on embracing the concept that “we are going to get through this!” Preferably with a positive state of mind. I for one need to thank God today for bringing me THROUGH so many things….

… A childhood that was anything but fun, yet the character-building, the redemption and reconciliation that followed has been an incredibly important part of my life/growth/learning. I wouldn’t be who I am today without it.

…Infertility, which ended with a biggest blessing of all, and a story to help other young women.

…A marriage that didn’t quite work but resulted in so many blessings.

What in your life do you need to THANK GOD for bringing you THROUGH? Perhaps you are still “GOING THROUGH” and you were just faced with the beginning of something that scares the hell out of you. Whatever the case may be, Thank God for bringing you there and be CONFIDENT that he WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT!

Here’s to an AWESOME WEEK launching into November!