To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Growth mindset

Taking a step back

Woohoo… we are wrapping up June. Well, I’m not sure if it’s a woohoo, because SUMMER NEEDS TO SLOW DOWN. Now would be a good time!

So, as we go into July, let us remember that summer is a time to take a step back, and evaluate —  reflect and redirect as needed.

Quite literally, to “dip into the pool,” immerse ourselves, and come back out with a fresh outlook on how we plan to master the rest of the year.

So, what are you doing this summer to take a step back? If you don’t have anything scheduled, maybe this weekend is a good time to evaluate what you can still pull off. I’m a big fan of even a 3 or 4-day weekend. Sometimes you can transport yourself so that you can really make good decisions on what your mind and soul need right now.

Mark Batterson, one of my all-time favorite authors says something like this: “A change of place, offers a change of pace, and an opportunity for a change in perspective.” I really like that! How about you?

Let’s step back and as a result serve better!

Why back down? Charging the gates with courage.

My favorite peer at work shared this quote with me this past week. I am certain I’ve heard it before, but I had forgotten it along the way. It is classic Churchill, challenging us to be strong in the midst of tough challenges. His “courage” dictum also found in this one you may have heard…

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, some time in your life” 

This work friend is fierce and a wonderful role model of effectively forging ahead against tough conversations. We all need to dismantle barriers and biases (and sometimes address the proverbial “elephant” in the room). She does this with finesse and elegance. It’s a gift, and one I feel we all need to polish up on.

Here’s what I have found so far: Courage takes an ongoing commitment to be true to what you know is the best for you, the team, etc. It takes dedication to not just “dial it in,” but to carefully craft a response, an approach, a business case if you will, to highlight your point of view. To counteract the conversation… to impact a decision that may well impact many others. We all have this inside gut check when we know that we need to come out from behind our desks and take that meeting, even when there may well be “dog barking” at the door. May we work toward being courageous.

I’d love to know your strategies. In the meantime, I am going to keep this quote close. It is inspiring and will help drive me toward the best in every conversation regardless of what opposition I may face.

Why do we settle?

This quote is from Brendon Burchard, The Motivation Manifesto. I’m kind of savoring this one right now. His writing is brilliant. (Apologies for the super long quote in the photo, but I just had to include the whole thing because to me it’s perfect.)

Here’s the message I took so strongly from this: Like the cattle in the middle of the road, not knowing their direction, we often do the same. We stand in neutral and don’t take on the full glory of our potential. We all have this amazing creative bent, and we should go after our dreams and desires. No seriously. We really need to think about this and consider if we are in the middle of the proverbial road more often than we’d like.

I like the idea of unlimited abundance. Just imagine the pure power in that for a moment… how cool!

Have a strong wrap to your week! I’m cheering you on!

I should probably…

So, what does it mean to you to “kick a**” ?   (Apologies if anyone is offended by the language reference.)

It’s like, “What is your perfect day? I’m thinking work as I write this, but a “kick a**” Saturday has an entirely different, awesome description. Think of it how you want, but definitely think about it.

What does a truly AWESOME, ENERGY-INSPIRING day look like?  

For me, it’s when I meet with some great people who share a vision or passion, or who energize me through their very approach to their craft. Or, when the conversation you walk away from inspires you. It’s when I am able to conquer massive emails and other communication needs AND run by Target on the way home. It’s when I am able to lift someone’s spirits or give them hope. When I am still going strong at 5 p.m., ready to keep rolling…

What is it for you?

If you can, pay attention to why this day happened in a way that you loved. What did you eat? How much sleep did you get the night before? Were you in control of your schedule that day, or was it a bit of others adding to your calendar and a bit of your own? After you can identify it, maybe you can duplicate it more often. Those days where you literally “kick it” should happen far more often in my opinion. What if you could be at the top of your game every day?

I love that idea… I think I should take my own advice and really identify that… It’s worth the “thinking” time. Have a great weekend. Design an awesome one! 

Staying within the lines: A nudge to stay on track

How in the world did I not know the term, “rumble strips?” Honestly, did you know this?Or am I not the only one who learned this as a 50-year-old? Don’t tell me I am the lone idiot, folks!

At any rate, I heard a terrific series from Levi Lusko on this whole idea of how we all need “rumble strips.” (You know, those lines or bumps in the road that keep you within the lanes… guard rails are similar in principle, but God knows we don’t want to actually hit those.)

This whole thing really hit me. What areas of life do we need some reminders on to stay focused on our lane? Who speaks into your life as a “rumble strip,” caring enough to tell you when you are out of line in your thoughts or actions? What do you personally do to ensure your thoughts and actions are aligned with your true core values? (A practical example: What movies, shows or music are you listening to that may not be aligned with those?)

Like you, I am a good person who tries to do the right thing in order to live my best life. Still, I slip off of the road at times. Often with diet or exercise. Sometimes with my thoughts about life and not being aligned fully to what I know to be true. I need to spend some time telling my “tribe” to be strong “RUMBLE STRIPS” for me.

Dear God, I hope I can handle their feedback at my age, following my personal goal of asking others to “cater to my success, not my ego,” in their honest comments.

Anyone else with me?

The Power of Story

I have always been fascinated by that one tree in the middle of a field on a road trip. Somehow it has a story to tell, or so it seems. How did it arrive here? How has it endured the many seasons and harsh conditions? Is it lonely? Is it super confident because “damn, I survived?”

Clearly trees don’t think like us humans, but if they could talk, they’d have some powerful stories to tell. We all have stories, and we need to know and understand them, celebrating their lessons and impact on our lives.

A part of my mom’s recovery process has been a stint at a psychiatric hospital, where the goal was to modify her medications against the new anti-seizures meds to try to get her out of what seemed like a modified coma (or at least a state of not having her mind or many physical functions). I have to tell you, that at first it was beyond scary to be there. People walking, others laying or sitting in beds and chairs, yelling and babbling incoherently.

It’s tough on everyone involved and God bless the care team. My mom leaves there today to start rehabilitating her body. I have to tell you, that I’ve come to love these people who have taken care of her. Yesterday, Maria told me about her 46-year-old marriage and pieced together a story for me about how she is a working woman, a proud mom and how she’s scared. She, like so many, likely has dementia – or a version of Alzheimer’s. She has a story.

Many of these people didn’t seem to have family or friends ever come to visit… no one to hear their story. Even those who do, I wonder if we take the time to understand and listen to the stories.

I’m mindful as a health care leader in the senior space about how we are doing in creating pathways to ensure the dignity of our seniors and to hear their stories. As a now 50-year old, I know I haven’t listened well to the stories of the older generations. We need a culture shift in America to focus on the importance of this. Other countries do this really well, if we can stop and learn from them.

Stories are powerful.

Dialing in to trust: A force multiplier

Trust is an essential element for any relationship.

If your children trust that they can share with you they will do so, at least more often. If you have strong trust in your relationships at work with your team and the leadership, you can accomplish what may otherwise seem (or even be) insurmountable.

In a truly great book, “The Soft Edge,” by Rich Karlgaard he devotes much time to sharing stories and research on the power of building trust in business especially. The bottom line is this: profits and customer engagement are off the charts for teams that have a strong sense of trust.

“The big lesson: You can pay for someone’s time at work, and people will show up and do what they need to do. But you can’t wrench ideas, extraordinary effort and innovative solutions from their minds. Instead, if you give trust and respect, you’ll find those great, innovative ideas readily offered.”

It is interesting to me that more leaders don’t spend more time ensuring they get this absolutely right. (According to Karl, only 19% of people trust business leaders to make ethical or moral decisions. Worse yet, only 18% trust business leaders to even tell the truth… Side note: I think this is true in parenting. We sometimes don’t think we should have to “build” trust in our homes, but I’d say that healthier homes depend on it.)

The book has some strategies for building trust, (transparency and authenticity are key…), but I won’t go into a full playbook here. As always in this blog, I hope to inspire you to consider the topic and to take action if you believe it is speaking to you. I have been in organizations where this has proven beyond true, and can personally give you the differences if you reach out to me. This is critical in our homes, communities and work. Let’s stay on top of it and grow where we can.

Honoring your children well!

I stand in amazement at how others honor their children so well. Let me first say that honoring can be done in so many ways, and I believe they are all good and necessary. The point today is to lead you all to some folks that do this in ways that astound me, and will spur you onward. I personally love to to learn from others, and these ladies have pushed me along while not knowing it.

Check out these gals if you can; and if not, I have put in a few excerpts below that they recently posted that will offer a flavor of what I believe is pure awesome.

Kira Atkinson-Montuori – Kira always speaks out not only the virtue she sees, but also how her children do this for others. I honestly think without knowing it, she does this instinctively to reward them for being there for others. I love that. What do you want to see more of in your children? Here’s an excerpt from Kira’s Facebook post after her daughter ran the Girls on the Run 5K this weekend:

“She is everything I want to be.

She is determined. She is strong. She believes in herself. She is a goal setter and a goal go getter. And she is kind.

Every picture tells a story. A story about a girl who was excited. nervous. committed to what she wanted. And a girl whose main focus after crossing the line was to go back and congratulate her friends.”

Steph Guerin – This comes from a Facebook post for her son’s birthday (note, it doesn’t have to be her child’s birthday… she does this almost weekly). It’s incredible. Also, please note this is part of a multi-point message, so she really takes the time to honor well. I think that is a key we all need to remember:

“10) You. You, my son are a gift in and of yourself. I love your mind. I love your heart. I love your enthusiasm. I love your determination. I love your desire to win. I love that you would give any friend of yours anything that they wanted. I love your loyalty. I love your secrets. I love your chatter. I love your sense of humor. I love your memory. I love the way you connect things that other people can’t. I love that you get bored with stuff that doesn’t matter- it sucks in 5th grade, but it will serve you well later. I love that you want more than anything to be a good husband and father and that you already have the best taste in girls. I love that you’ve had your career path lined up since you were 5- even though it has changed. I love that you are able to take all the crap the world hands you and say you got it, and now I’m proud you can say you need help. I love that you are an 11 year old boy who can express a full range of emotions. I still wish you’d give me more hugs, but I should give you more, too. We’ll work on that.”

Casi Quinn – Casi does this type of Facebook post often. As parents, expressing our raw hearts is important and yet I find myself not doing it as much as I should – rarely even. Taking the time to point out this level of detail, leaves the family with a connection on how they should live out their lives. The lesson here for me, at the minimum, is that we teach our children how to honor by how we honor:

“Tonight was prom. And as we come to a close on Colton’s Senior year, I am once again reminded that behind every great older brother (in our house) is a younger brother who is equally as great. What memories they have made! How they have cherished one another….

I have watched them build forts, igloos, homemade weapons (In case they were ever stranded out in the wilderness). They have fought together, prayed together, cried together, laughed together – grown up together.

They have been roommates. Teammates. Schoolmates. Partners in crime…they are the epitome of what brothers should be. And I am so proud. So. Dang. Proud.”

Colton Quinn you are an amazing big brother. You are Just. Who. AJ. Needed. No one could have done the job as his big brother better than you. In your outlandish way, you brought out the best of him. You showed him that it was ok to be himself. And when he felt the world was against him, you would lift him up. God knew just what He needed. And AJ Quinn, you have been a silent strength. An unwavering constant that was a safe place for Colton to grow and learn that love doesn’t care about differences. A listener. An encourager. You’ve brought him peace – and balance. What a gift you are to one another!!”

Kira, Steph and Casi: Your words and heart are a profound lesson for us all. THANK YOU!

I hope this post gave you some ideas on how to dig deeper in honoring. No matter what, I hope that all of you will take some time this week to offer up a bit of extra honor to your children, or another loved one that could benefit!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: It is truly all joy

(Is this not the greatest photo? Credits go to Ann Voskamp who is wonderful to follow, and she took it I believe from “@Bored Panda,” which I am now following, and they credit: “@howfarhome.” That’s an Instagram account focused on travel! Worth following!)

So, it is truly all joy. I know that is hard sometimes.

I never even knew about this famous verse in the Bible until about 10 years after my divorce, infertility and some other fun and not-so-fun experiences. I sure wish I would I have known about it because it would have helped shape my perspective.

It is one of those that you have to live through to “feel it… to know it’s sheer truth.” Life throws curve balls, course corrections and all sorts of hurdles that cause us deep desperation, pain, or simple tears. In the end, these are the times we clarify and cleanse our souls. We find God through this times often, and we lean into friendships and a new level of family intimacy. It’s the layer where magic unfolds.

This picture is taken in the Netherlands, which is known world-wide for their annual tulip festivals with over 15,000 types of tulips and literally fields upon fields of elegance. (This happens in April every year.) I would sure love to see this beauty with my own eyes. The notion of riding bikes through the tulips sounds like a fantasy. You see, the magic = the beauty found in the fields. The fields only arise after rain and plenty of upkeep. This, my friends, is where the beauty of our lives happens: In all kinds of seasons.

As you go into your week and month, remember no matter how bad, good, emotionally or physically you may be challenged… COUNT IT ALL JOY. It is bound to produce something beautiful.

Celebrate big this month: Congratulations, graduates!

I am a huge sucker for good commencement speeches. My sister was telling me about Will Ferrell’s graduation address to USC and, of course, that has to be an instant classic. We all need more humor and I am confident that most USC grads were beside themselves with excitement at the notion of Mr. Ferrell joining their celebration!

Although I’m sure that was terrific, I prefer the graduation speeches that are a bit more poignant. A bit more hit you right in your spirit, lump in the throat, type advice and inspiration. Something I can sink my teeth into.

I really love this quote from J.K. Rowling. It speaks to us no matter our age or degrees are – or perhaps are not. I sit firmly in the camp that we are all gifted with everything we need to CHANGE THE WORLD. IMAGINING the POWER that this idea has is something to really think about. What if God has already given me everything I need to make the impact I am supposed to make? To CREATE A LASTING LEGACY? To truly change our world for the better in my lifetime?

I hope today you will think of the POWER YOU HAVE. To join the thousands of graduates worldwide and just IMAGINE the possibilities… no matter your age. I am betting that we can add some significance to this day if we all do so.

(Most of today’s blog is a repeat from last year. It is also dedicated to my son Sam (the reason for spartan, of course), who graduates this weekend from Michigan State University. We all stand with you as you celebrate a key moment in your life. It is pure joy to be your mom. Surely, the greatest gift from God has been you and your brothers. We all love you! Celebrate and then go out and imagine, create and impact our world!)