Summer motivation: Stronger than a moment
Growth mind
Moving past fear & toward our true SHINE
What in the world is going on when we allow fear to creep in and grab our thoughts? Catch this excerpt from an article on Quora: “Did you know that in the Bible ‘do not be afraid, fear not,’ or something in that framework, is listed arguably 365 times… one for each day of the year.” (Since it’s on the internet, it must be true. Haha-)
Seriously though, us simple humans do (and think) a lot of things based on some level of fear. I didn’t understand or believe that fully until the past few years… thanks to some good friends – and maybe an insightful therapist…I’m not sure if it’s the “Darwinian” factor (survival of the fittest) or what, but it all comes down to this innate need to protect ourselves from whatever it is that we think may not serve us well.
So, here’s the thing. I heard this message above not long ago. “Fear is not sustainable.” Sustainable as in “able to be maintained, upheld, defended.” I don’t know about you, but my fear of whatever – nailing the interview, playing a strong golf game, acing the test, clutching the public speaking assignment, being the perfect mom – absolutely none of it is sustainable!
We can’t be perfect or even have the notion of thinking we can or really should be. We can be really damn good, and yet there is always something, someone, better. You know what? It doesn’t matter! At the ripe age of 51, I can honestly say it doesn’t matter. (My apologies to those – including my younger self – who thought that a 4.0 on their resume matters years after college… it doesn’t.)
At work I interview for attitude and the capacity to understand this very concept. Public speaking? Be your authentic self and people will love it. “You” is exactly what the world needs more of. Golf? Who cares. The game doesn’t even matter if those playing aren’t bringing their positive energy to the experience. Whatever it is that you offer, the world wants and needs the true you to show up in every situation. That alone raises the bar for us all.
We don’t have to be afraid of even heavier topics… Relationships? God always delivers what it is we need to know in that season. If we listen, He helps us make the hurdle and learn (whether it’s personal or work relationships). If you don’t believe this, give me a ring and I’ll share some personal stories that may help you lean in a bit more.
Folks, what areas are you consciously or unconsciously letting fear creep in? Is it your health? The feeling that you may not be as sharp as you once were? That you can’t achieve that goal you are striving for? All of that is not true. Your mind is your most powerful asset. Get those thoughts right on out of your head!
Fear is not where we are meant to live. Let’s do what we can this summer to shift our thoughts to all things that move us in a direction of growth and eliminate fear from our daily diet! You are worth it. You are beautiful and have everything you need to live out the most amazing life.
Cheering you all on!
We have the power to choose
Today’s post is a throwback from 2017 that offers a simple reminder: We have the power to choose.
Choose a chaotic or calm approach? How do I really want my home and life to feel? To look?
Choose to make this a terrific summer, or choose for your days to be the same?
Choose to create a plan to make a difference, or not?
Choose to take action to achieve your dreams, or watch them pass you by?
Choose to save for that great trip, or keep stripping away funds via Starbucks runs and too much frivolous spending?
Choose to look up and smile more, enjoy the beauty, or walk around with your head down looking at your latest text/Instagram post/Facebook feed?
This is just a reminder that you get to choose. I love that… I for one welcome the reminder, and I hope you do, too! Cheering you on!
Go ahead… Drop some balls
The New York Times on Sunday had a terrific article titled, Work-Life Balance is a Myth, by Tiffany Dufu. I loved the approach in the article, driven around answering the hard question of “what really matters?”
I sometimes think of this as “what is my Best Yes?” which I stole from the namesake of Lysa TerKeurst’s book. So what does this mean? It means asking: Do I really need to go to that social gathering after work? Do I really want to stay out late on Friday, ( or would I rather have a robust Saturday morning?) Should I take the time to pick out a meaningful card for a dear friend’s birthday, or can I wing it and buy one on the way to the party? What is the best use of my time right now – a walk in nature to clear my head or jumping on another call to push through on being more productive?
There are no wrong answers. What is best for you, at this present time in your life, is what matters.
Here’s an excerpt from the article that I found to be both a simple and meaningful way to start figuring this out …
“– try this visualization exercise adapted from the book, ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ (Side note: That book is a classic must-read. In fact, I would go as far to say it should be required high school or college reading.)
Imagine three people eulogizing you at your funeral. What would they say about you? What do you hope they would say about you? Write this down.
Now, ask yourself: Are you on the path to becoming the person they describe? If not, maybe you’re not putting your energy into what’s the most important to you.”
Here’s where the “drop the ball” idea rolls in: Once you know what really matters to you, you can assess your current calendar and how your time and energy are being saturated. Once you do this, it all begins to come together, and somehow… magically, you can then take a discerning look at how you are investing your time and decide which balls you can – or rather should – drop. (If you are like me… there are atleast a few… let’s call them, “mis-prioritized” balls.)
What balls can you drop? Hopefully over the next few days you get a smile on your face when you purposely decide to drop a ball or two. Your joy and wellness are sure to accelerate when you do.
Have the best weekend!
Leveling up: Time to take the difficult path
Hey there, friends! Ashley here. I am the lucky one who gets to help Lori with To Serve Well. You heard from me once, back in 2017. It’s funny, because I only vaguely remember the woman who guest blogged that post about self care. In fact, for a while, I lost her.
I’ve been on a journey for years now – mostly physical health. You know that vicious cycle where you lose the weight and gain it back (lather, rinse, repeat).
But right now, I’m on a different journey – a journey to grow. A journey to level up. I’m on a journey to discover more about my own capacity to learn, to become more patient, kind, innovative and effective. I’m on a journey of evolution, watching the rewards trickle out into every part of my life, from the office to my dating life (a generous term, but we are rolling with it).
There’s absolutely nothing special about my ability to accomplish this over anyone else. It is sometimes messy and always hard, but it’s worth it.
Critical to my success these past three months is my willingness to have an open mind and heart to the messages of other people. Which brings us to a quote that I picked up recently that resonated:
I say no to a lot of stuff so I can have bandwidth and energy and dedication to the difficult path.
Robin Arzón
Please tell me that touched your soul the way it did mine. I mean, wow. It came from Peloton VP and instructor Robin Arzón, who Lori mentioned in a blog last week. I’ll include the podcast below if you’d like to take a listen. Her mindset about growth and persistence is really amplifying what I feel in my bones right now.
How often do you watch people around you take the easy route? They wander back into a relationship because it’s comfortable, or stay at the job they see no long-term opportunity in despite having a grand vision of starting a business. I hate to suggest it, but maybe that’s not just someone around you – maybe it’s you?
Let me bring it home for you. I devoted an alarming amount of bandwidth for months about whether I was in the right job and whether those around me thought I was capable in my role. Instead of letting that be a fleeting thought, it consumed me, and everything that was happening around me was, in turn, validating that negative mindset. But my gosh, friends, do you know what happened when I finally decided to take my version of the difficult path that Robin’s talking about? My life changed in a matter of months.
Between a mentor, a therapist, a financial planner, daily journaling, personal development books and podcasts galore, I feel armed and dangerous with a better understanding of what it means to be a strong woman here to serve myself well so I can be a better servant to those around me. And I was previously shut off to all of those resources and people, though I still don’t understand why.
I share a piece of my heart with you today, in the context of my girl Robin’s quote, in hopes you give the bandwidth, energy and dedication to whatever difficult path awaits your attention. Trust me. Come on in. The water’s fine.
What is your joy game plan?
“THE LAKE...” – One of the all time best places in the world. Who doesn’t love that feeling when you pull into your vacation destination (even if it’s just a weekend)? Unpacking the car, the snacks, the books/magazines, pool or lake side supplies… That alone gives me joy. The thought of after a long day on the water, (any water), with beach towels hanging over the deck, or strewn across the room… It also, gives me a rush of happiness.
But what about that good-tired feeling where everyone just collapses to watch some simple but fun comedy, or perhaps play a game or some cards if that’s how your tribe rolls? So refreshing!
Summer is prime time for a change up of routine. A time to set apart some time for seeking joy, fun and adventure. A time to shake off the daily grind and those things that can, at times, add up to stress that’s not serving you. (Yes, scientists do say, that stress does in fact serve us… more on that in another post.)
It is the perfect season of the year to bring back your favorite childhood memories. Mine revolve around the lake. Where do you find yourself smiling just thinking about those moments? A dear friend who I love, recently told me that hers were around long road trips across the country with her family, camper in tow, spontaneously stopping at super-cool, sometimes-random spots across the United States. I loved that and could immediately visualize the joy.
Before we get too deep into the summer, if you haven’t already I hope that you will put together your “joy game plan.” Whether it’s a staycation, a weekend full of lake hopping around our many beautiful local parks, or a longer trip… The only rule is to make sure it refreshes your soul. There is huge power in that. I would even call it a game-changer for you and those you love.
“A change of pace plus a change of place equals a change of perspective.””
– Mark Batterson
Perspective often improves our path, including generating massive creativity and better decision making.
Have the best wrap to your week, and an amazing weekend. If you have time, I know everyone would love to hear your “joy game plan” via the comments. It just might inspire someone and create a ripple.
Why you need a security detail
I hope this hits some of you like it did me. I have a security detail, and I hope you do as well! It may be that you need to rethink who is in yours, and perhaps even add one or more key folks to the team.
You may be thinking, “What is a security detail?” My son even asked about it when he saw me working on this post. According to Wikipedia, a security detail is a “Personal Protection Detail (PPD); a protective team assigned to protect the personal security of someone.” So, who is protecting you? People who “have our back,” and push us and make us better. People who we primarily choose, though often God blesses us with family members who are incredible at ensuring we are covered, protected, confronted, redirected, and gently pushed toward a positive direction. My sister has always had my back full on and what a gift that has been.
So, what are some of the critical areas where this is essential to a successful life? Here are some thoughts…
Your personal physical and mental health… Everything from exercise and fitness to those girl’s nights out that fill your spirit.
Your financial wellness and ability to find freedom in that area… A trusted advisor who comes alongside you and offers clarity around some often complex and private decisions.
Your career and in the workplace… This one is huge. I’ve blogged before about the need to have a champion – a few, if possible – that you know without a doubt will lift you toward great success.
Your spiritual life and your ability to navigate the complexities of life in general… Who do you know that is locked in to their faith and can help you build yours?
If I think through “who has my back,” I can come up with a short list that I know without a doubt want to see me succeed in many areas. I have, however, gone seasons without that “someone” in some of these areas. This is a call to action if you find yourself in that same boat, so to speak.
It takes intention to seek out this type of help. I personally like to have people that are ahead of me in life, or who have experience in an area at a much higher level than I have. These people offer me the opportunity to level up, and they can hold me accountable because of their experience having already walked this path.
Have a crazy-good week. Make it that way.
Add to your tribe if needed, and know that no matter what, most people are good, and the universe wants you to succeed in all that you dream and desire to accomplish!
Stand TALL, shoulders BACK – Bringing a spirit of boldness to your week
Don’t you kind of love this image? STAND TALL, SHOULDERS BACK… TAKING A POSITION OF BRAVERY… “Owning It” Days like that are awesome. Seasons like that are something to behold. You know what? We can actually take this stance every single day. That is a personal decision.
I have often talked about this idea of making a “pre-decision.” It’s a concept I picked up a few years back from my favorite author, Mark Batterson. Most key aspects of our lives depend on our ability to make a decision of how we want to show up. So, how do you want to show up this week?
The term “bravado” actually traces back to an old Italian adjective: bravo, meaning courageous, among other meanings. This is how I like to think of it: Courage with a touch of swagger; deciding to show up with confidence in what one brings to the table.
What are you sure of today?
What gifts, skills or personality traits do you have that energize you and make this world better? Are you a great storyteller, like my dad? Do you have that ability to light up a room immediately, like my friend Tiffany? Do you make everyone around you feel better by always offering a kind word, like my friend Gloria? Are you the hardest worker in the room? A skilled negotiator? A philanthropist always focused on bettering our community? A master gardener? Whatever you have been gifted with, put your shoulders back and own it. We need what you have to offer. Decide that this week, you are going all in with a position of boldness.
Be that friend
I hope I don’t offend some with this post, but I feel like it’s a needed message. More and more often it feels like people (of all ages) are okay with “mediocrity.” What does that even mean…?
Definition: “ordinariness, commonplaceness, lack of inspiration, indifference… A person of mediocre ability; nobody, lightweight, amateur…”
We are too surprised when we get “great” service at the post office, restaurants, or a routine call to a local utility or similar. When did this happen? Over time, the standards of excellence appear to have declined. At one time even I, with little supervision, couldn’t leave the house on a Friday without dusting every last knick-knack in the house. (If you are younger than me, ask me or someone older what a knick-knack means. Trust me, the generation above ours loved these, and if you don’t believe it’s a real thing, look it up – I had to. I thought it most certainly was not only vintage language but totally made up. (Sub-note: I vowed to never have knick-knacks at a very early age. I highly recommend we continue this ban.))
I love this idea that friends don’t let other friends be mediocre. Really, we all need someone – hopefully a band of people – who are willing and able to help us rise above commonplace. Being average, being “okay,” just getting along… that’s not what we want, is it? I firmly believe that 99% of all people want to fulfill their purpose, to serve well, to propel ourselves and others to new levels. I also know from experience that we need those friends to lift us up, give us a nudge, help us push past our own narrative and into new thresholds. These are coaches, friends, co-workers, nurses, doctors, teachers, neighbors, and yes, family. These are people like you and me! This takes courage… it takes the willingness to have meaningful dialogue that can take time and investment. These are the conversations that become the difference makers and game-changers.
Let’s all make a commitment this week to be that friend who cares enough to have that candid conversation. I’ve written about it before but let’s cater to each others success, not our egos. We need real friends who care and as a result, we all make this world so much better.
So thankful for each of you!
So… What is your super skill?
Okay, so first off… how darling is this little guy? I loved him immediately!
Let’s dive right in. I was listening to a podcast this weekend (Small Changes, Big Shifts), and the guest, Randy Floyd, LSCSW, was sharing that he felt self awareness was the greatest “super skill” to have. How cool is that? I have never really thought about super skills. I guess I didn’t even know that was “a thing.” So, assuming it is, let’s chat about it for a few minutes…
I really like the self awareness perspective. One of the most powerful realities for all of us is to accept that once we really understand something about ourselves –(how and why we react, respond, celebrate, spend time, think about money, etc. )– we then magically become able to process it, as well as make any changes we might like (or need) to in order to reach a better version of ourselves. Sure, it may take some guidance, but once we “know,” we add a great deal of power to our personal growth arsenal. I’m not sure I can or want to challenge that one as the best super skill, but perhaps a good discussion would be interesting.
So… how about the super skills of:
Confidence, courage, bravery or kindness (despite all obstacles). Or how about if your super skill was that of a professional golfer or world class musician? How about a dog or horse whisperer? Goodness – this is kind of fun to think about. This is making me want to have a long list of super skills.
Guess what? That’s quite possible. After all, we get out of life what we claim and go after! Let’s pick a few great ones; a few fun ones. Let’s use the one’s God has gifted us with, and add a few to up our game.
Enjoy the long weekend if you get one! If you are working, we all thank you!
It’s always great to be an American, but it is especially poignant on weekends such as this where we honor those who sacrificed their lives while serving our country in the United States Armed Forces. For all who serve or have served, we pay you the highest honor this weekend and every day of the year.
