To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

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Simple Thoughts Sunday: A random conversation on a plane

Guest blog: Today’s post is from my dear, sweet sister, Lisa George.

My loved one and I were out this past weekend running errands when we stopped for a caffeinated treat. The coffee shop was nestled within high-end retail shops and restaurants surrounded by upper middle-class homes. As we stood in line, we noticed a little boy and girl ordering drinks at the front of the line; judging by their height, we guessed they were around 9 years old – with the boy being slightly shorter than the girl. At first glance we thought it was funny (and maybe a little odd) the boy paid with a credit card and then proceeded to put it in his mouth as he and the little girl walked over to a small table in the corner next to the coffee bar. The boy set down his iPhone on the table which appeared to be one of the latest on the market with the large screen. They were dressed in the latest children’s fashion with colorful stocking hats, thin puffy jackets and UGG boots. We laughed and agreed these cute little ones who mimicked adults were either brother and sister, or out on a “date.”

We stood near their table while we waited for our orders. It was hard not to notice the little ones laughing loudly while they were taking turns looking at Instagram and YouTube videos; sharing with one another sights pulled up from the internet. Our order took longer than normal since these children ordered the largest and most expensive drinks on the menu (venti strawberry Frappuccino’s, to be specific). We kept thinking we would see a parent or the person whom the credit card belonged to. Nobody was there to look after them. As we drove away we discussed how strange and sad it was to see children simply on their own with a credit card and iPhone. We wondered if these little ones were simply dropped off or if they walked from their home located close by.

This scene seemed innocent enough, however it brought me back to “randomly” meeting a guy on a plane during a flight with my sister this past summer. It was an early Sunday morning and my sister and I had planned on taking a nap and did not have any intention of speaking to the person who would ultimately end up sitting in between us (my sister preferred the aisle and me the window). We ended up talking to this person the entire flight. He was originally from our city, attended KU and lived in Boulder CO with his wife and four children. He shared enough of his life story over the flight to understand he had been through “life” as a youngster which ultimately lead him into ministry. Also, for the past 10 years he worked for an organization called iEmpathize. This organization works to spread awareness and help those involved in human trafficking. We were taken aback when he told us Kansas City was ranked No. 2 out of the top 15 metropolitan cities in the U.S. due to our city’s central location (logistical hub for shipping via trucks and railroad).

The connection was enough to know we wanted to hear more about what he was doing in our city. We exchanged contact information and ended up attending a lecture he held a few weeks after we met. Leaders representing the city police department, hospitals, clergy and multiple charities related to the human trafficking issue all turned out for the devastating and important discussion. We learned how all children are vulnerable; not just those in poverty, but also high income and LGBT. Also, that the children who are most vulnerable are those who feel alone and those who do not have much adult interest or presence in their lives.  

He told us a story about an upper-income family with a young boy around 10 years old who loved to play video games and ended up befriending a “female Avatar.” The young boy and the “Avatar” got to know each other and became trusted friends in a chat room. The “Avatar” ended up sending him a picture (approx. 16 year old female body) and coaxed him into doing the same. The older man disguised as an“Avatar” now had the child’s location through GPS, and ended up using the image to coerce the child into giving him what he wants.

Seeing these children this past week reminded me how our parents would send us out the door with a dollar, and we would ride our bikes to the convenience store to buy candy. We were simply told not to talk to strangers. We were vulnerable, however with today’s children the internet is a whole new ball game. It is estimated there are a million predators searching for their next victim every hour of the day. We as adults need to be equipped with a response. One way or another we can all make a difference to prevent someone from being being exploited.

iEmpathize and Children’s Mercy Hospital are hosting Empower KC, a tour experience and training throughout each day next week. The tours start every 45 minutes on Jan 28-31st at UMKC in Pierson Auditorium. You can register here. Please share with others and bring a friend and join the movement to end it!

For more information please email mark@iEmpathize.org. Thank you!

Don’t be silent: Let’s honor Dr. King today and always

Please don’t dismiss this week’s celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Join me in re-familiarizing ourselves with the story of his life by reading his biography and listening to the ever-powerful “I have a dream” speech.

My friend Gretchen who substitute teaches once told me that she asked her class who today’s heroes are. The group couldn’t really come up with any. Maybe some athletes, but overall the exercise left everyone asking who deserves this title today? Who is doing work that addresses the big issues?

Thankfully there are a LOT of heroes in our world who are spending their days working on those big issues. On the other hand, there is always room for more stand-outs that can galvanize our country and world, such as people like Dr. King who sacrifice their lives for the good of man and society.

The quote above is my favorite of King’s. It resonates with me and I hope it does with you. What issues have we been silent about? If you haven’t shared your concern and taken action to help improve a situation, that is silence. This could be as easy as walking past litter in your own neighborhood, or as complex as taking on the hate that impacts our world.

(A shout out to my friend Mindy Corporon and family who are working toward improvement in this area via their foundation and their annual week long event bringing awareness to these issues.) 

No matter what issue you have a passion for, please don’t be silent. It’s a new year – and decade! – and I’m glad we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday this month as we kick off and renew our commitment to what is important in our country.

While you are at it, if you have children in your life, encourage them to identify those issues and begin to step forward as a leader to truly impact our world for the positive. I’m confident that today’s youth have what it takes to ensure that America continues to be the greatest country in the world.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Welcome 2020

This idea of God establishing the work of our hands is just what I need and possibly you as well, as we launch into the first full week of the new year and the new decade. I don’t want anything or anyone else establishing the work that I do, and I also am keenly aware that I need God’s favor at every turn. No matter where life finds you right no – in school, in retirement, at the onset or at “prime time” in your career – this message should resonate.

The word of God has a lot to say about work. I fully believe that no matter our age or stage, that we are all to be working toward using our energy and minds to fulfill our purpose. One of my all time favorite verses:

“Whatever you do, work at it will all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Colossians 3:23-34)

God calls for us to be faithful with what He has given us to make the world, at this very time in our own generation, the best it can be. If we all do this, our work and service will elevate us all.

For many, the last several days have given us an opportunity to rest and otherwise be away from the normal daily grind. This time provides us an opportunity to prepare our hearts and minds for our work in the year ahead. Hopefully you have spent some time asking yourself some clarifying questions to get you focused on what you hope to bring into the year. I am a full-out nerd about this time of year … the thought of a blank canvas to dream and imagine … is incredibly energizing to me. The exercise of drawing a child-like diagram that features the key parts of my life – family, spiritual, career, health/wellness, financial, etc. – and then drilling into “must have” actions to ensure I achieve these goals has been a necessary step for me for many years.

So, what about you? It would be great to hear any ideas as it relates to good old fashioned life planning and goal setting. How do you approach this new chapter that brings you renewed energy and enthusiasm?

I’m so thankful the word of God has given us both examples and guidance on the topic if we will take time to read and apply. The very idea of this blog is that we are to serve well, and serving is the way we honor those around us and God. We do this best when we are actively working toward using our gifts, time, talents and resources.

Happy, happy new year! I’m so excited to start afresh and am ever grateful for your support and encouragement.

Let’s dive right in to the new year- Here we go 2020!

I couldn't resist using this picture. Is anyone else eager for that type of sunshine right now?

Most of you have likely spent time reflecting on 2019,  putting thought into what you’d like to accomplish in 2020.  If not, perhaps today is the day to set aside time to really think through where you have been, what you have learned, and who has impacted your life. This effort always makes me feel like I have a more clear picture when working toward the plan I need to put in motion. They say that writing down your thoughts and goals is a key part of achieving them. I totally agree with that. To me, diving in after you write them down is the only option. Taking action not only feels good, but it drives us forward.

What areas of your life do you need to take action on? So many of your ‘one words‘ were so good and inspiring. How do you plan to make that happen? What does peace look like when it’s played out? More time alone to reflect? A deeper prayer life? Time set aside time each morning? What does joy look like? More time with friends? Family? Pets? Doing what fills your soul? What do I need to let go of to optimize my life? How much of an impact can I make?

As you dive in, please know that you have a tribe of people supporting, encouraging and praying for you! I truly believe we can all accomplish whatever it is that helps us be our best. Of course that means, serving well!

Here’s to a more than meaningful and joyful year ahead and a decade that increases our capacity for love and justice. Thank you so much for taking time to read these brief insights. Cheers to you all!

Top reads for 2019

This is such a tough post for me, because I truly love all books – and for totally different reasons. I think that’s likely true for all of us, that we gravitate toward what we individually need to hear at that particular time in this season of life.

All of that to say, I am going to attempt this anyway. After all, I hear from some of you that you’d love to see another post on top books – and I aim to serve! This one is long overdue, since my last book post was in… April. Oops! You can find other posts related to books I love in the archives under “book reviews.”

Here are my top 10 for the year, each with some excerpts that highlight why they made the list (The first three from my April post):

Notorious RBG, by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik – No matter your political interests, this is such a good read. This absolutely fun read about the life of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is terrific in 100 different ways. I love all of it, but this quote in the beginning in particular: While reading her dissent in a voting rights case, she quotes Martin Luther King directly, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice,” she said, but then she added her own words: “If there is a steadfast commitment to see the task through to completion.” Now that is true and powerful.

The Art of Gathering, by Priya Parker – So much amazing work in this book. I’d grab this one for sure if you like to read topics that appeal in multiple areas of your life. One simple idea here: “If you want a lively but inclusive conversation as a core part of your gathering, eight to twelve people is the number you should consider. Smaller than eight, the group can lack diversity in perspective; larger than twelve, it begins to be difficult to give everyone a chance to speak.”

Joyful, by Ingrid Fetell Lee – A really interesting and fun read that covers the full gamut of joy. One idea I appreciated: “I began to notice that while the topic of work-life balance comes up frequently in media, play is largely absent from the conversation… The most joyful people I know manage to hold space for play in their adult lives (think playing a sport, family game night, etc.).”

Shoe Dog, by Phil Knight – This was on everyone’s top list in 2016-17, but it took me a while to dive in. It did not disappoint, and could arguably be my number one book. It’s a classic tale of starting from the beginning, finding your path, and what is required (absolute commitment, focus and imagination) for top-level individuals and companies to achieve success. Phil is the founder of Nike and you can imagine the power of the story. The power of any great story is found when purpose is exposed. This line captures it well, “I walked out of the room, I thought of that phrase, ‘It’s just business,’, It’s never just business. It never will be. If it ever does become just business, that will mean that business is very bad.” Profound truth.

Women Rowing North, by Mary Pipher – The inside cover reads, “A guide to wisdom, authenticity, and bliss for women as they age…a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face ...” There are so many valuable nuggets in here, but I highlighted this one: “One day I told her that I greatly admired how she handled her difficult situation with such good cheer. She looked at me and said, ‘Mary, I have no choice about the leukemia, but I can control how I deal with it. I might as well act right and have something to feel good about.'” That’s so true about almost everything in life. We get to decide. Another that spoke to me: “On further reflection, I realized that I often become my own worst enemy, constantly signing myself up for combat duty when I really want to stay home, pet my cat and read a book.” (Okay, not the cat part, but Jennie and Gretchen, that’s for you!)

Range, by David Epstein – This read takes on the idea of whether it is best to “specialize” in a field/hobby/etc., or if it’s better to have a “range” of interests/focuses/preparations. Notable authors such as Malcolm Gladwell and Daniel Pink praise Epstein’s work, and this is indeed a solid read on the topic our path to excellence in life. I loved this: “Instead, she told me, in a clever inversion of a hallowed axiom, ‘First act, then think,’ Ibarra marshaled social psychology to argue persuasively that we are each made up of numerous possibilities. As you put it, ‘We discover the possibilities by doing, by trying new activities, building new networks, finding new role models.’ We learn who we are in practice, not in theory.” So good. As we go into 2020 and a new decade, where do we need to develop new possibilities?

The Moment of Lift, by Melinda Gates – From the inside cover: “How can we summon a moment of lift for human beings?” And also: “I had to write this book- to share the stories of people who have given focus and urgency to my life.” Those “people,” those “stories,” are from countries and cultures across the world, whom we have the power to help “lift,” thereby using the gifts God has given us to help all of humanity. It is about helping others use their voice, and build lives and generations by challenging the status quo. Who is giving urgency to my/your life right now? Where and who do we need to pursue to ensure we use your gifts and achieve our purpose? Those questions are true for every single age. It’s a useful question for launching into the new decade.

The Innovator’s DNA, by Jeff Dyer, Hal Gregersen, and Clayton M. Christensen – This book hones in on 5 skills for innovators using stories from the great innovator’s of our time, Apple, Google, etc. It’s a true business read, chalked full of quality content, research and stories we can use. One such example, “Google holds an ‘Innovator’s Challenge’, four times each year. In this competition, employees submit ideas for management review. Winning ideas receive the resources necessary to maintain momentum. Innovation at Google is very democratic; it lets market forces determine which ideas move forward.” I am always challenged by these types of reads and look forward to any ideas I can grab and use. Perhaps you are as well.

Rhythms of Renewal, by Rebekah Lyons – One of my favorites, and the topic of a blog post from October. Why do I love it? I love the topic itself, I love the simplicity of every single chapter and I feel like this book alone makes me better. That is saying a lot. One thought that is powerful as you go into the new year: “When we rest long enough to take inventory, when we ask God to cultivate our hearts, talents and passions according to the purpose he planned before our days began, we’ll find new horizons opening up, horizons beyond all we could ask or imagine. It’s never too late to re-establish what you want your life to be about.” So good.

Stillness is the Key, by Ryan Holiday – This one ties with No. 9 above on the absolute best for me for 2019. I wrote about it twice this year (Oct. 22 & Oct. 28) and one thought I loved: “The answer is that while we may naturally possess stillness, accessing it is not easy. One must really listen to hear it speaking to us. And answering the call requires stamina and mastery.” To me, all of this is most worthy of my attention and incredibly critical at this point in our world. We need to be still and we need to think and listen well in order to serve well… be it at home, the workplace, the community, and yes, making key decisions in 2020 as it comes to new leadership for our country – and beyond. We need to urgently focus on removing distractions.

Praying for each of you to have an incredible finale to the decade and to have the focus to start strong on a new year this week ahead!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Magnify all that is love

It’s Christmas season and of course this is a perfect time to remind ourselves of the power of our thoughts and actions.

I was listening to a podcast this week and the guy was sharing a story about an average night in his family. It was a long day, he was tired with work left to do and his children were frustrated. His wife stepped in and essentially said, “Listen up. I hope you see how hard your dad works to provide for our family and how he always does so with a strong work ethic and passion, and I hope that you will also grow up to do this for your family.” This magnification on the positive made this guy feel like a million bucks, and in his words, “gave him renewed energy.” What we magnify shines a light and gets our attention. We should all remember that our ability to shift the conversation and the energy in the room to the positive is very real and makes a profound impact on those around us.

Changing up the focus to our inner voices, we are reminded that as we step into the next few weeks, we can either magnify the hectic schedules, that family member that always shows up with a critical comment, the cold weather, the fact that we “aren’t ready yet” – OR we can magnify the quiet and reflective mornings we can curate for ourselves, the opportunity to walk out into the brisk morning with a confident and joyful stride or the excitement of the next few weeks offering us a home full of the love of family and loved ones. What will you magnify?

I am mindful this Advent season that I need to magnify the absolute good. (In fact, today’s Advent meaning is joy.) There is truly so much of it and anything that doesn’t meet that category doesn’t deserve my mental energy.

Praying today that you will find yourself focusing your lives on all that is good; calling out those around you, offering love, gratitude and light. I hope that you will fill your personal conversations, both those with yourself and others with all that provides hope and joy during this beautiful season.

Happy Thanksgiving! I am grateful for all of you!

The history of Thanksgiving reminds us that taking time to celebrate the harvest is an important part of our country’s history. The idea that for generations we have maintained  integrity around “gathering” and offering thanks is powerful and necessary.

The first Thanksgiving in Plymouth, MA (1621) was a time for neighbors and family to gather with those who helped provide the bounty through hard work. Today, Thanksgiving provides us the same opportunity to carve out time to break bread, share our stories, and offer thanks.

No matter what you find yourself doing over this holiday, my prayer is that you will take the time to acknowledge those who have provided blessings to your life over the last year. I also hope that you take some time to breathe deeply and celebrate your own success (or survival, as may be the case) so far in 2019. This pause just might offer you what you need for the strongest finish to the year.

Cheers to all of you, your family, friends and loved ones. My goal every time I write is that it might impact at least one person.

It is an honor that you take the time to read these little insights and I am beyond grateful for the gift of your time.

The original “OGs” and paying it forward. Happy birthday, boys!

Happy 23rd, boys! I guess a benefit of the blog is I have the opportunity to reflect on personal experiences from time to time. As many of you know, I was blessed with triplet boys 23 years ago. This seems like both a short time, and simultaneously an absolutely full 23 years.

I sent one of my boys a message earlier this weekend noting that it was “the big 23” – his “Lebron Birthday.” He quickly replied, “Come on Mom, it is the OG Jordan birthday year.” (LOL!) I had no idea what OG meant until I Googled it (it’s “original gangster,” if you’re lost like me).

Bottom line: This is a fun time in their lives and I am grateful for every moment. I feel like I learn so much every day, and that this season is as important as the next.

New chapters, marriage (Sam is getting married in July), stepping into new careers, etc… So many “firsts” and so much “adulting” that it seems all together more intimidating than the innocent years of stepping into middle school or the first homecoming dance.

I have been literally smitten from the day they told me I was pregnant with “twins,” and then to find that third heartbeat… completely saturated in unending love. Each of them are growing into strong men of faith, which has been my prayer over each of them every night since I can remember.

Courage, bravery, perseverance, integrity, humility, generosity, kindness… Each year, each of them displaying growth in one area and seemingly passing the baton to the other to build upon, and back around the circle for continued growth. I continue to find myself observing, admiring and standing in total awe of this transformation, and I can easily say this has been my greatest privilege and honor.

I hope today that anyone reading this will take a moment to honor those that God has blessed them with: Be it a family member, a friend, colleague neighbor, teacher, or acquaintance. I believe we have all been entrusted with a circle of people who want to take care of each other the best way we know how. What a gift that is.

My boys amazed me this week by telling me that they were trying to do what they did when they were younger, which is to give to others on their birthday. In celebration of their birthday, and for whom we love, we should all go out and pay it forward this week. Be it paying for the person behind you in a drive-thru, offering a Texas-sized hug, or some other act of kindness. Giving back is one of the best ways to serve well!

Happiest of birthdays to my young men! Your presence in this world makes everyone’s life brighter. I don’t take lightly the gift God has given me. I don’t always have the answers, and I don’t always get it right, but I will always love you deeply, respect you, and honor each of you.

Setting anchors: Those people & things that secure our place

I judged a Master’s program case study competition on Friday. One group started and ended with Maslow’s Hierarchy when presenting their solution to achieving health sustainability for a specific city. I loved it!

You may recall that the base of the “hierarchy of human needs” is physiological needs (think food and water), but the very next is safety needs (think physical security, employment, resources, property), and then we go to love and belonging (think friendship, intimacy, family, sense of connection). I would say that these three are the anchors. If we get to these, we can get to the next and final two, esteem (respect, self esteem, strength, freedom) and finally, self actualization (desiring the most that one can be).

I write and think a lot about fulfilling the calling on my life. Constantly praying, meditating and taking actions to move toward where I feel I am supposed to go. I got to thinking how smart these students were to tie back the very root to Maslow’s famous thinking. It’s so true that even if we want to get to our best self, we can’t get there without having anchors set in the key areas. WOW. Light bulb!

So, where do I – where do you; where does your family – need to set their anchors. Are the key areas locked in and safe? This expands to all manner of thoughts from the money in my emergency fund, to the schedule I keep, and margin I have created to allow me to get to maximum creativity and a sense of accomplishment.

Entrepreneurs often refer to “anchor clients.” Those who secure their business, ensure adequate cash flow and a baseline of success to grow upon. Who are your “anchor clients?” Who are those people who when you are around that enable you to be fully yourself and fully engaged? It always seems to come back to people. Who are those who need an investment and an established anchor?

It’s November! YAY! Two more months and we celebrate another 365 days (AKA another trip around the sun). Speaking of sun, I’m thankful for each day we have and, in fact, I think that should be stated as one of my anchors! Sun! Good for our Vitamin D levels –– and the soul!

Have a strong week my friends.

High-stakes questions leverage personal growth

How do I get better? How can the team, be it my family at home, or at the office, get better?

I think about this often and have said frequently in the last decade, “cater to my success, not my ego.” (A lesson I learned from a fellow panelist that will never leave me. Note to self: Always pay attention… Everyone can teach you something.) A change up from my early career when I “needed” that validation that I was headed in the right direction. We absolutely have to ask this question and truly want honest feedback. It is my thought that moving to new levels requires a desire to get to the layers that are not always apparent blind spots, if you will.

On a podcast episode I listened to earlier this week – the Tony Robbins Podcast – there was a great discussion about high stakes and high-leverage strategies. The profound lesson here is that this is not rocket science. It’s not a 12-step process, nor something that we need extravagant degrees in order to put into play and be successful. Asking the right easy questions is the message I took away. And better yet, putting in place a cadence in your life, at work, home or wherever life finds you so that you develop “mental models” for how you are going to process life, learn and grow. When something happens, starting with this easy question, “What is one thing I would change?” can alone be powerful if we ask it consistently and build an arsenal of information that helps inform us so that we can make better decisions next time. Lean in a bit, ask “tell me more,” versus jumping in believing you are adding value when presented with a question or need for advice. Holding on long enough to get to deeper information can help us achieve higher levels of tangible impact.

So much good information surrounds us. I love that part of society today. There are endless ways we can engage and literally no excuse at any age for slowing down our learning.

My hope is that this inspires you a bit to ask yourself, “What is one thing?” One thing to be a better leader, better parent, better friend, better daughter, son, grandchild, sister, community member, neighbor… Or on your next project – be it trying a new recipe or wrapping up a significant project at the office – asking honestly and boldly: What is that one thing that would have elevated this experience?” What if we all do this and make a collective impact? There is power in that my friends.