Have you ever found out something profound about your life after that season was over? Rachel Held Evans started chapter 19 of her fantastic book, ‘Searching for Sunday,’ with this profound concept that stuck with me instantly: “I didn’t know I was hungry.”
Let’s unpack this concept a bit more…
- Have you ever been in a relationship but didn’t feel loved? Recognized? Seen? Heard?
- Have you ever been in a room, office, church or otherwise full of people, and felt alone?
- Have you ever had such an uneasiness that you couldn’t “find the feeling” that was keeping you unsettled and stealing your peace?
That feeling is hunger. In some cases we are starved. Starved for the basic needs that sustain us as humans: love, community, peace. The sentence blew my mind. Have you ever been hungry and didn’t even know it or have the capacity or knowledge to “name it?”
I have had a season like that. In fact, if I allow myself to “go there” or dig deep enough, I’ve had a few. I have to laugh a bit because a few years back, my son said, offhand, “Mom, I could have told you that.” I had to seek outside counseling to hear this truth and right under my own roof my son recognized certain patterns. He recognized I was “hungry,” but I sure didn’t know it.
In fact, that counselor pointed out that we are either pursuing, running from or staying within the moment. I am either a pursuer or a runner. Perhaps most of us are? (Oh, how I’d love to have the knowledge of a good therapist! Thank God for those people!) Until the last few years, I did not even know that the staying or lingering with the discomfort – or perhaps even the comfort – of a relationship or situation was a “thing” and really essential to understanding and growth. When she pointed it out, it was a light bulb moment. It was in this understanding that I could begin to recognize moments of hunger.
One of the things I like to do in these short little insights, is to spur us to think deeper in a wild attempt to better understand ourselves. I feel like perhaps we can serve others better if we do so.
Have the best week! I hope this post helps move us toward joy and toward a life full of everything God has in store for us. I love that notion of moving toward all that is good and hopeful.