To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Serve Well

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Relationship goals

Easter is early this year — two weeks from today, actually. If you participate in the season of Lent by sacrificing something, you are probably counting the days. The best I ever heard was giving up the snooze button. Clever, huh?

The idea of course is to remove our focus from something we enjoy, and focus more on God and how we can live a life closer to how God intended for us. Lent leads us to the celebration of Easter for the christian community. It is truly a time of joy as we celebrate the life, death and the resurrection of Jesus.

I just wrapped up Dharius Daniel’s book, RePresent Jesus, which focused on reintroducing core parts of his character to the reader. My favorite, you may guessed, is the “servant” that he was, fully focusing his life and ministry on helping others.

No matter what your beliefs — religious or not — the idea of serving others is a life value that most people I know truly embrace. The modeling of washing the feet of his friends (and enemy) on the night before his death, is a perfect display of selflessness and one that we can learn from.

As you go into this week, I pray that you renew your commitment to look for how you can best serve those in your circle of influence — and yes, even those who aren’t so lovable. We have an opportunity to dig deeper into how we and our families can be a better reflection of that wonder example of servant-hood.

Why do we sometimes choose the second-rate version of ourselves?

I came upon an interesting conversation via a podcast and it really resonated. I hope it does with you, too.

Here’s the thing: Sometimes we actually choose the second-rate version of ourselves. OUCH! Why would we do that?

Let me give you an example: Each year when I do the Daniel Fast for the first 21 days of the year, I feel GREAT during and after. Eating healthier, incorporating regular exercise, a diligent focus on sticking with a solid wake-up and nighttime routine coupled with less social media… it’s a game changer for me. So, why would I not live my life this way every day of the year? It’s a really good question.

I am guessing that a trained psychologist would say it is because we are accustomed to and find comfort in our routines. I mean, I really like queso and I do enjoy reading about the lives of those I love via social media.

Trying to find that “balance” of how you can “have your cake and eat it too” is the challenge we all face. My point of view is that it comes down to framing the question in a way that moves us to the potential negative side of the equation. For example: What happens if I choose more queso over having more energy and a healthier body?

I find myself living on the edge of this…trying to find the right mix of both. I suspect each year I try to “lean in” to the healthier side a bit more — but maybe only a tad bit. (The unfortunate part, however, is that as you age, the body isn’t as forgiving of that basket — or two — of chips!).

How about you? Sharing is caring, and I know we would all love to have a dynamic community tackle this topic of how to choose the best version of yourself. After all, it is there that we are meant to be, and there that we are able to serve the very best.

The Culture Connection: Why travel is a life priority

I have made travel a life priority.

Along the way, I learned that whatever your budget — and whatever your goals with travel — it can be done with a bit of research and flexibility. There are so many stories out there of poor college students backpacking across Europe, and travel blogs that showcase journeys around our vast world. This is encouragement to many, as travel can seem to be a goal achievable only after retirement, if at all. In my viewpoint, even a trip to the lake can be a much-needed cultural shift from our day-to-day lives.

As it pertains to my writing on this blog, I truly feel that in order to serve well (for me) that travel is essential to creating a greater understanding of the people we share this planet with.

Here’s why: Being immersed in different cultures allows us to stretch and grow beyond our normal experience.

I have learned that whether it be a trip to New York City, Chicago, San Diego, or abroad to say, Greece (or my current journey in Australia), the customs from the time they eat meals to the way they approach their day opens me to new, potentially life-changing perspectives.

For example, in bigger cities, you seldom see anyone overweight. This is likely due to their active lifestyles to some extent, with a dependence on walking as a major means of transportation. It forces me to consider how to incorporate more of that lifestyle into my own.

In most countries I have visited outside of the U.S., the pace of life seems to be less frenetic and more reasonable. Even the average vacation time they are offered by employers is almost triple what we find here in America. It ties to a focus on overall wellness, it seems. I believe our country has a lot to learn in this area. (Side note: I have not been to the Asian countries, which I understand are more hurried in their approach, and perhaps it is due to the size of the population.)

One of my favorite authors (Batterson) is known for saying “a change of place, offers a change of perspective.” That is so very true. Somehow, when you are able to remove yourself from your routine, your mind “shifts” to a neutral zone that allows you to more easily embrace the beauty that surrounds us, even in the seemingly simple matters. I believe that notion leads us to achieve creativity and engage in life with a more health focused approach.

I try to keep these short, so will stop here. As the North Face slogan goes, I hope that you will “Never stop exploring,” and I hope this has inspired you to travel, local or abroad — just get out there!

Hello March: Nothing but blue skies ahead!

Here’s how I feel: We made it, we made it!

We came, we saw and we conquered the worst of winter! We (mostly) conquered cold and flu season. And maybe some exhilarating “go get ’em” goals for January and February! We did it, it’s over! Today is a new day and a new season is about to begin. Yahoo!

As you head into March, consider shaking off one season and head bravely into the next. Open the windows and breathe deep, because spring comes with promises of new life. The Easter story alone is breathtaking, but we also get sunnier days, flowers and fresh air. Oh, and for those in corporate America: one month left to bring home the big wins for a successful quarter. It’s beautiful. (Oh, and this year, the season opener in baseball is in March! That means it just has to be great!)

I hope this weekend you will shine a little brighter with the new month and make a decision to have your best month yet this year. We all have to make that choice each day really. How can we serve the best? How can we show up to meet our purpose? I recommend that, along with setting some goals, you think about how to inject some fun as well. This month is a good one to hit reset and laughing out loud is a great source of healing for the soul!

Make it great my friends! I was reminded again this week that life is short and we have to optimize our days!

The ‘no fly zone’ effect

If you are a This is Us follower, you may have caught the episode earlier this season where  Kevin’s family’s significant others waited out the family meeting at a local establishment, getting in a good laugh while talking about the the Pearson family ‘no fly zone.’

You know, those sensitive discussion topics that we “just don’t go there” in conversation. In some cases, that may mean the topic is only for immediate family only, or for some it may mean a topic that you are not willing to talk about, period.

In the show, the ‘no fly zone’ focuses on the death and addiction problems surrounding the dad, Jack Pearson, Kate’s weight, Randall’s issues raised via his brilliance and his adoption into the family – and the list goes on. It’s complicated, but then again, aren’t all of our lives?

I immediately wrote down this as a good blog topic because I wonder how  many of us have ‘no fly zone’ areas where we can’t or won’t go with those we love the most. “No need to talk about it. It was what it was and time will heal.” Right? Maybe. My years of experience tell me that a healthy family and relationship is surrounded by honesty; full disclosure if you will.

I’m sure we’ve all thought at some point that somehow our extended family is “different” or “strange,” and that those large family gatherings are sure to be awkward. The truth is we all have characters in our family that are so different from us that they seem like someone we may not want our significant others to know about right away.

Whether it’s family, the fact that you got fired from a job (I did in college) or whatever potentially sensitive area it may be, being able to destruct the ‘no fly zone’ and be transparent with those closest to you will make you feel so much better. “Sharing is caring,” as the saying goes. Sharing is also healing!

What are the ‘no fly zones’ you need to address?

Rewind: Go ahead, jump the fence!

(Photo creds: We Heart it)

(This is a throwback post to 2017, because levity goes a long way.)

I told my son I wanted to do something funny today – something to add some levity to our day and get away from anything too serious.

Initially, this idea of “jumping the fence” was captured in a conversation about diversity and the need for us to not be afraid to experience different cultures, food, people, environments, etc. That is still a good idea, but what’s better today is this perspective of the image.

Through all of the stress that America has realized over the last few months, and what seems like a never-ending back and forth accelerated by social media, we really need to laugh.

So maybe this photo captures how you feel as you try to get away from your friends’ viewpoints on Trump…? Or, perhaps you had so much fun watching the Grammy Awards on Sunday that you gave some thought to changing career paths to become a rock star… You know you’ve got that image now of you on Monday morning with your blazer on and your friends cheering you on running & jumping toward your new found PATH TO GLORY.

No matter what it is, make it a demonstration of fun, friends and no doubt a lot of laughs. (By the way, that may be me struggling to even get up the dang fence.)

I’m in the mood to jump the proverbial fence into brighter territory. Into something meaningful and beautiful and truly FUN. Grab your tribe this weekend and create some memories filled with laughter!

Black History Month series: If you still don’t understand

Here’s the story of Mae Berther Carter, who raised a young family in 1965

That really isn’t that long ago, if you ask me! I think it’s important to put things into perspective.

During 1965, Ms. Carter enrolled 7 of her 13 children (boy, she had to have been busy!) in public schools that were previously reserved only for white students.

Despite people firing bullets into her home, she persisted. Despite being evicted from her home, she persisted. (Does “Nevertheless, she persisted” conversation from last year resonate with anyone else here?)

In 1969, Ms. Carter and her husband won a lawsuit challenging the “freedom of choice” laws. That same year, a court order ended the segregation system in the Drew School District. All 7 of those children later graduated from that school. (No clue what happened to the other six…) It is hard to fathom a school — and for that matter, public or private spaces — being reserved only for certain people. To think that inequality like this ever existed is far from the teaching of most value systems, spiritual and not. (Side note: There is inequality still today in so many areas, which is in a large part what the #MeToo movement is about. I am not so sure our country has advanced as much as it could have.)

At any rate, these stories compel me, as they shrink the topic to a level I can consume.

My mom was 22 years old then, and although she’s aging now, it’s hard to think she walked through this world at the same age my boys are now. That brings it close to home for me. As I shared Tuesday, science shows through epigenetics that those harsh realities impact the generations that followed, including those alive today.

That means someone you sit next to at work or church; someone you watch on television or perhaps in one of the Oscar-nominated films — they’re affected. You see, we all have our story. We all have backgrounds that shape us. I think all of us need to go into conversations throughout life with a greater understanding that everyone has a journey and the best thing we can do is listen, seek to understand and, of course, serve others freakishly good and always be kind.

I hope you and your family are taking some time this month to learn more stories like Mae’s. Consider checking out The King Center, which showcases some terrific information.

Black History Month series: Use your voice

I didn’t know who Alice Walker was. Perhaps you don’t either.

She is known for her work as a novelist, penning masterpieces like “The Color Purple.” This book became a revered film and was a part of a movement that once again showcased our need to be educated on history that impacts our world still today.

I  love her thought in the photo above because I feel that it is true today, despite the fact it shouldn’t be.

Today we can use our voice and, in a matter of moments, reach thousands. How powerful is that? Our voice can be used for good or for the more controversial. Our voice can be used to raise awareness as an instrument of peace, or to galvanize our communities to achieve better, together.

The bottom line is that we have the power.

We have the opportunity to achieve the purpose God has set for us.

We have tools available to us to join the conversation, educate, raise the flag and spread the love.

We have the power to make an impact in our lifetime.

I believe one important impact area is knowing; knowing the history of our country. This knowledge will create a greater understanding that can and will change us and the generations to follow.

I hope you’ll join in!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Unity

A month of UNITY. We need feel-good moments in this country, and I love that February helps do just that.

Between the Super Bowl (shout out to what I consider to be the best Superbowl in my 50 years!), Black History Month and the Winter Olympics, we have a ton of opportunity to step in to the conversation of unity.

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you may have seen that I attended UMKC’S Martin Luther King Jr. lecture series, and boy was that powerful. I am forever humbled by what I don’t know despite 50 years on this Earth. Our nation has been through a lot. We are better for what we’ve experienced, and we should all be intentional about taking time to learn about our past and let it inform our present.

I hadn’t given much thought to the fact that slavery in America existed for 339 years, and that just about every major institution played a part in it. Science proves out that the lasting impacts of this are still alive and well today. I had no idea. Thank you to Dr. Joy DeGruy and the hundreds of other people who have made it their mission to bring awareness and galvanize us all into action.

Unity is an all-encompassing term, but understanding the history of our country can go a long way in helping us sort out why we’re where we are today. We can do better. We are, as we know from the Bible, dependent on each other and are one in Christ. That is the truth; that is powerful.

My prayer is that we will all consider what little we know and make an effort to gain a greater understanding. If we can take that knowledge and make it useful in our generation (and those we impact: children, grandchildren, etc.), honoring the heritage of all people, we stand a much great chance of achieving peace and love all of the days of our lives.

Anyone else with me on this? We can – and should – DO THIS!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Priorities

In Matthew Kelly’s classic book ‘The Rhythm of Life,’ he shared that he often sites this prayer during the day, especially during busy times.

His theory is that finding the “rhythm” is largely about assessing and reassessing our resources and energies, ensuring they are in alignment of fulfilling our purpose.

Most of us do this annually, or maybe a few times a year, but daily? That is powerful thinking.

As you launch into February, my prayer is that you will take pause to make sure your efforts, time, actions and focus are in the direction that aligns with you being the best and most amazing version of yourself! I will for sure tuck this one in my proverbial back pocket to ask throughout my week. It’s pure gold in my opinion!