To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Powerful

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Nourishing our souls

So, what is nourishing you?

We need healthy food and lots of water so that our bodies have the best chance to give us optimum performance. We need sleep to achieve full restoration each day. From my point of view, we need a strong spiritual life to truly nourish our soul so that we can fully utilize the gifts God has given to each of us (and to serve well).

Today seems like a great day to think about what is nourishing our souls. Are we spending as much time in the word of God as we are on social media? Watching mindless Netflix or reality TV shows, listening to music that doesn’t inspire? Are we filling our minds and hearts with the truth, or are we distracted constantly?

This week, can we up the game on our focus toward nourishment through spending our extra time in activities that draw us and our families and loved ones closer to God? I’m totally up for this challenge and would love to hear if you are too!

Enthusiasm: Get your week off to a rousing start

Today I lean on Tom Peters and his leadership wisdom to offer you some of what I think is absolutely BRILLIANT. In fact, I think this is a game changer for all of us. Here is a brief excerpt from his new read, The Excellence Dividend:

“NFL coaches carefully script the first few plays of the game, aiming to get off to a good start. Of course, the details of the plan will likely fall through long before play number ten.  But the scripts aims to set the course.

Beginnings are everything. A solid research finding, not a slogan. So start the week off on the right foot.

Do NOT — come hell AND high water — let the first 45 minutes of the week slip by without decisive impact. (Mr. Peters using a lot of exclamation points, bold lettering and all caps to stress his point.)

A week is a precious unit of measure. And a week is a story, a novella — it has a beginning, middle, and end. Sweating BIG-TIME on the beginning is crucial to all that follows.

Next Monday: Script your first five to ten plays (i.e. carefully launch every day or week in a purposeful fashion.)”

As always, I hope this is useful to at least one of you wonderful people. For those of you following this blog closely and read about my mom last Thursday, this particular blog pushes into perspective that we really must value our days and weeks. Our moments are precious and we can impact lives and serve so much better if we do so with intention.

(My mother is progressing slightly, so as her brain repairs itself, we continue to hope for God’s will. We greatly value all of you who have reached out.)

Redemption: The conversation is getting personal

My mom is in the hospital, suffering from multiple seizures. As of now, we have no idea why, but know her brain is somehow off track. It’s ugly.

When she comes out she is either elated and child-like, or unfortunately agitated and angry. In the moments we’ve had, she’s gone back to draw up childhood experiences I didn’t even know happened, and also told us how deeply she loved us. The love part may seem normal to some, but for us, not so much.

Without going into too much detail, my mom has suffered from mental illness for her entire adult life that my sister, brother and I have been around to witness. That is up until the last 4 years.

I remember my sister saying that “we finally have a mom,” a mere 4 years ago when I was 46. It is a story of healing and redemption. I love movies, especially the redemption-based love stories where love heals and the heart settles into deep joy. We all have our own movie reel going: the story of our lives. We all experience at some point a range of emotions and of course strive for love and peace.

If you are questioning whether you will ever get to the point of redemption in a relationship with someone you care deeply about, please believe that there is hope. Just 5 years ago, I never thought this was possible and wished someone had shared their story of hope with me. You know that saying, “God is good all of the time, and all of the time God is good.” I believe He is good all of the time and sometimes we need help seeing the forest through the trees, so to speak.

Thank you for allowing me to share my story of redemption. I pray it is healing. If you happen to be a praying person, we’d covet your prayers for God’s will for our mom. She truly is a wonderfully dear person, who didn’t deserve to suffer with mental illness and didn’t choose that. I know that now.

(If for some reason any of you would want to know more about this in hopes that it would help, please reach out. I’d be more than happy to share the details.)

Creating buffer zones for an optimal life

I loved the dictionary definition of “buffer.” The noun may be my favorite and I intended on writing about the verb.

Noun: A person or thing that prevents incompatible or antagonistic people or things from coming into contact with or harming each other.

Verb: To lessen or moderate the impact of something.

Just like the bumper guards in a bowling alley keep a child’s ball on the right course, having good “buffers” can do the same for us. We tend to fill our schedules fuller than they need to be, or rather should be, and as a result we don’t end up optimizing our lives.

The slower pace of life that can be beneficial to developing better relationships through actual conversation, the ability to truly think through a tough problem, or taking the time to breathe deeply and appreciate nature (thereby making us physically healthier). These are challenged or sometimes even diminished when we don’t have the “buffer” zones built into our schedules. I am perhaps not the best person to point this out since I’m not a victor in this area, but I certainly understand and fully believe in the power of the idea. I have, over the last year, truly tried to build in some of these, and it’s very helpful.

There are a host of ideas of how to do this, including defining how many meetings you are willing to have each day, and how many weekends per month you are willing to “go out” so to speak. If you need some ideas or want to share some ideas, by all means reach out, or help the other readers by listing some in the comments.

Finally, to the last point, which goes back to my fondness for the noun version of “buffer,” I think that is a key lesson for all of us. There are people and then there are “THOSE” people. You know the ones that run on a different pace, or version of reality that tend to make us slightly crazy. We need buffer zones for those people too. In essence, I think creating healthy boundaries so we can “stay in our lane,” is the best policy. I think an upcoming conversation on boundaries may be in order! Let me know what you think!

Serving well in the workplace

It’s Maundy Thursday today (also known as Holy Thursday or Covenant Thursday). I don’t really celebrate, so to speak,  but always have in the back of my mind that I needed to “go deeper” in my thinking. The significance is that it commemorates the Last Supper of Jesus Christ with the apostles. In other words, those people that became like family in the process.

That day, we also hear the incredible part of the story of Jesus kneeling to wash the feet of his disciples, and while doing so lets them know what is about to happen, giving them the following beautiful instruction:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

I love that Jesus modeled how to serve well in the workplace so to speak. Without deep reflection, these are the easy lessons I pull from the Maundy Thursday celebration:

  1. Those that work alongside us should become like a second family to us. Caring for them in the workplace and having a great awareness and caring of their personal lives is important for a thriving team. The bottom line is we are to love, and to me that means showing our genuine concern for their lives. (Please know that just like we sometimes have, Jesus faced opposition even within his own team of disciples… He loved them anyway.)
  2. Leaders with humility are rare and important. We should all strive, whether we are leading great numbers or leading ourselves to be humble and honor others when we can. (Side note: There is always an opportunity to give honor.)
  3. Finally, communication is central to any healthy workplace. Jesus was sharing a tough message, but he took the time to gather his team, to celebrate their accomplishments and to share what the near future looked like, equipping them with encouragement and direction. There is a lot to be learned here for all of us.

Have a simply wonderful weekend everyone! Oh, and GO ROYALS! (It’s finally baseball season again!)

The ‘no fly zone’ effect

If you are a This is Us follower, you may have caught the episode earlier this season where  Kevin’s family’s significant others waited out the family meeting at a local establishment, getting in a good laugh while talking about the the Pearson family ‘no fly zone.’

You know, those sensitive discussion topics that we “just don’t go there” in conversation. In some cases, that may mean the topic is only for immediate family only, or for some it may mean a topic that you are not willing to talk about, period.

In the show, the ‘no fly zone’ focuses on the death and addiction problems surrounding the dad, Jack Pearson, Kate’s weight, Randall’s issues raised via his brilliance and his adoption into the family – and the list goes on. It’s complicated, but then again, aren’t all of our lives?

I immediately wrote down this as a good blog topic because I wonder how  many of us have ‘no fly zone’ areas where we can’t or won’t go with those we love the most. “No need to talk about it. It was what it was and time will heal.” Right? Maybe. My years of experience tell me that a healthy family and relationship is surrounded by honesty; full disclosure if you will.

I’m sure we’ve all thought at some point that somehow our extended family is “different” or “strange,” and that those large family gatherings are sure to be awkward. The truth is we all have characters in our family that are so different from us that they seem like someone we may not want our significant others to know about right away.

Whether it’s family, the fact that you got fired from a job (I did in college) or whatever potentially sensitive area it may be, being able to destruct the ‘no fly zone’ and be transparent with those closest to you will make you feel so much better. “Sharing is caring,” as the saying goes. Sharing is also healing!

What are the ‘no fly zones’ you need to address?

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The power of prayer

Most of us realize the power of prayer. Sometimes prayer can be stressful because our requests don’t get answered fast enough (or maybe that’s just me). Sometimes prayer can be frustrating, because we think we have to pray for a certain amount of time, or in a certain posture.

Regardless, today I want to impress that prayer makes a difference in this world! In Matthew Kelly’s Rhythm of Life book, he refers to prayer in the following ways:

  • Prayer cuts through and clarifies. (I think of this as a guidance counselor or coach.)
  • Prayer reminds us of what is truly important. (Bringing to mind those people that we need in our lives.)
  • Prayer is the great mediator that introduces us to God. (Makes is clear that a higher power indeed is controlling the universe… and thankfully it’s not us!)
  • Prayer is the faithful friend who points out who we are  capable of being. (Inspiring us to dream bigger, and filling us with positive thinking.)
  • Prayer reveals the deepest desires of our hearts and points out the path that was ordained for us. (This is close to the first bullet point.)
  • And my favorite, “Prayer gifts us with purpose and direction, and peace in that direction.” Peace is the part I love and have found to be the most true.

I’m honestly not the best “prayer person.”

I have great intentions, and pray a lot of short, little “popcorn” prayers throughout the day – especially when people come to mind. I am not sure prayer has to be a long session, but I feel like I can be better at it. I have personally seen – even recently through my prayer group – that prayer indeed works. (Side Note: Three friends and I just started this Jan. 1, and let me tell you, it is a game changer. If you want to know more, message me and I’ll tell you how we are doing it!)

There is also a great book by Priscilla Shirer, called Fervent and a movie as well, called War Room that dive into prayer in ways that will for sure help anyone who has an interest. I highly recommend both!

I hope you all have an amazing end to February this week. I’m praying for each of you as I write this! Sending Love.

Black History Month series: If you still don’t understand

Here’s the story of Mae Berther Carter, who raised a young family in 1965

That really isn’t that long ago, if you ask me! I think it’s important to put things into perspective.

During 1965, Ms. Carter enrolled 7 of her 13 children (boy, she had to have been busy!) in public schools that were previously reserved only for white students.

Despite people firing bullets into her home, she persisted. Despite being evicted from her home, she persisted. (Does “Nevertheless, she persisted” conversation from last year resonate with anyone else here?)

In 1969, Ms. Carter and her husband won a lawsuit challenging the “freedom of choice” laws. That same year, a court order ended the segregation system in the Drew School District. All 7 of those children later graduated from that school. (No clue what happened to the other six…) It is hard to fathom a school — and for that matter, public or private spaces — being reserved only for certain people. To think that inequality like this ever existed is far from the teaching of most value systems, spiritual and not. (Side note: There is inequality still today in so many areas, which is in a large part what the #MeToo movement is about. I am not so sure our country has advanced as much as it could have.)

At any rate, these stories compel me, as they shrink the topic to a level I can consume.

My mom was 22 years old then, and although she’s aging now, it’s hard to think she walked through this world at the same age my boys are now. That brings it close to home for me. As I shared Tuesday, science shows through epigenetics that those harsh realities impact the generations that followed, including those alive today.

That means someone you sit next to at work or church; someone you watch on television or perhaps in one of the Oscar-nominated films — they’re affected. You see, we all have our story. We all have backgrounds that shape us. I think all of us need to go into conversations throughout life with a greater understanding that everyone has a journey and the best thing we can do is listen, seek to understand and, of course, serve others freakishly good and always be kind.

I hope you and your family are taking some time this month to learn more stories like Mae’s. Consider checking out The King Center, which showcases some terrific information.

Black History Month series: Use your voice

I didn’t know who Alice Walker was. Perhaps you don’t either.

She is known for her work as a novelist, penning masterpieces like “The Color Purple.” This book became a revered film and was a part of a movement that once again showcased our need to be educated on history that impacts our world still today.

I  love her thought in the photo above because I feel that it is true today, despite the fact it shouldn’t be.

Today we can use our voice and, in a matter of moments, reach thousands. How powerful is that? Our voice can be used for good or for the more controversial. Our voice can be used to raise awareness as an instrument of peace, or to galvanize our communities to achieve better, together.

The bottom line is that we have the power.

We have the opportunity to achieve the purpose God has set for us.

We have tools available to us to join the conversation, educate, raise the flag and spread the love.

We have the power to make an impact in our lifetime.

I believe one important impact area is knowing; knowing the history of our country. This knowledge will create a greater understanding that can and will change us and the generations to follow.

I hope you’ll join in!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Unity

A month of UNITY. We need feel-good moments in this country, and I love that February helps do just that.

Between the Super Bowl (shout out to what I consider to be the best Superbowl in my 50 years!), Black History Month and the Winter Olympics, we have a ton of opportunity to step in to the conversation of unity.

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you may have seen that I attended UMKC’S Martin Luther King Jr. lecture series, and boy was that powerful. I am forever humbled by what I don’t know despite 50 years on this Earth. Our nation has been through a lot. We are better for what we’ve experienced, and we should all be intentional about taking time to learn about our past and let it inform our present.

I hadn’t given much thought to the fact that slavery in America existed for 339 years, and that just about every major institution played a part in it. Science proves out that the lasting impacts of this are still alive and well today. I had no idea. Thank you to Dr. Joy DeGruy and the hundreds of other people who have made it their mission to bring awareness and galvanize us all into action.

Unity is an all-encompassing term, but understanding the history of our country can go a long way in helping us sort out why we’re where we are today. We can do better. We are, as we know from the Bible, dependent on each other and are one in Christ. That is the truth; that is powerful.

My prayer is that we will all consider what little we know and make an effort to gain a greater understanding. If we can take that knowledge and make it useful in our generation (and those we impact: children, grandchildren, etc.), honoring the heritage of all people, we stand a much great chance of achieving peace and love all of the days of our lives.

Anyone else with me on this? We can – and should – DO THIS!