To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Inspiration

The assignment: What do you want to leave and what do you want to take with you in the next season?

The power in nature is incredible. I was given an assignment recently that I thought was awesome. It was also a bit harder than I expected it to be. In short: “Go out in nature – anywhere really – and find a rock. Hold onto it while you are walking and think through all that you are currently holding that isn’t helpful to you on your journey. After you have processed that, toss the rock aside and find something living – or that has recently lived – like a leaf for example and think through what you want to bring with you into the next season.” It was very therapeutic and unexpected.

The hard part was just that my mind didn’t want to go into that stream of thought. Getting out of our head and allowing nature to settle in and open our creative minds doesn’t just happen the moment you hit the trail. However, over the course of an hour or two, my mind cleared and I suspect yours might, too, if you give it a try. There is so much strong evidence that nature is perhaps the antidote to anything and everything that ails us. In a Psychology Today article from Nov. 4, the author shares that “Nature is the purest pathway to inner peace, and it recharges one’s energy and renovates the personality.” She goes on with three key benefits:

  • Harmony for the mind
  • Strength for the soul
  • Calmness for the body (going on to say that is it essentially has a “magical impact on our health.” – I love that)

As we head into the holiday and winter seasons, this seemed the perfect time to share this. Many have an extra day or two off this week, and taking the time to soak up some nature to connect and get grounded on what is good and useful and beautiful seems like a wonderful assignment. As we head into Thanksgiving tomorrow, I want you all to know that I count it a blessing to connect with so many of you via this brief blog and I am thanking God for the gifts you all are and praying for such a wonderful time of love and gratitude for you to experience over the holiday.

The power in our first waking thoughts

“For many of us, our first waking thought of the day is, ‘I didn’t get enough sleep.'”

Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

How many of us wake up and think, “I’m still tired, I better stay here a bit longer,” or “I can work out later,” or “I have a big day, and need the energy so I’ll just hit snooze again.?”

I’m totally in that group. Those who study human behavior call this “scarcity” thinking, as in, we aren’t waking up with a focus first on the positive but with a notion of lack. Alternative would be: “I am healthy. I am so blessed to wake up and have a purpose.”

You get the picture. I am TOTALLY feeling this one.

In the book I quoted from above, the “not enough” thinking seems to saturate us early and often. Not enough exercise, work, money, power, time off, weekends, etc. “Before we even sit up in bed, we’re inadequate, behind…already lacking something.” We end the same way, thinking about what we didn’t get to. Ugh! Why do we do that? According to Brene, “We each have the choice in ANY SETTING to step back and let go of the mindset of scarcity. Once we let go of scarcity, we discover the surprising truth of sufficiency…a knowing that there IS ENOUGH, and THAT WE ARE ENOUGH.”

We should all pay attention to our thoughts. Our ultimate goal is toward “abundant” thinking. Focusing on abundance directs us to think through the good in each situation. Our first thoughts set the course for the day, and can propel us forward or leave us in bed while the world keeps moving. We are far more incredible than we ever give ourselves credit for. We are powerful and strong and even on those days when we feel we cannot be enough, THAT EVEN WILL BE ENOUGH!

I hope that this resonates with you. We should start our days with some bravado and a touch of momentum –– badassery, if you will. We are all gifted and able to bring forth a positive movement for this very day. My prayer is that God will work on our minds and allow us to be all we are intended to be.

Rewind! This is an adapted throwback post that just really spoke to me right now. I hope it does the same for you!

The power of our words

The truth in this quote is beyond powerful. Rachel Held Evans was an incredible and soulful author whose latest book, “Wholehearted Faith,” in collaboration with Jeff Chu*, came out last week. Rachel’s story is profound. I won’t go into that here, but you may want to check out her work. It speaks to me on so many levels.

The full quote:

“Something tells me that we might all be a bit more careful, a bit more gentle, if we knew how our words can travel through another’s ear and linger for a long time in their soul. What if we imagined those words sitting on one another’s kitchen tables, waiting to be reshaped? What if we knew just how much effort and time it might take to transform those ugly and heavy words into something beautiful and primed for flight..”

I grew up with the phrase, “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” Anyone else? That is such BS. (Forgive my language choice, but when appropriate…) The power of our words are enormous. Here’s the truth: Words can indeed wreak all kinds of pain and and leave us wandering and replaying, taking us down so many paths that quite likely aren’t based on fact and hurt us.

While the reminder is appreciated, I felt like the POSITIVE lens was what was most impactful for me as I read her words. We have a fantastic opportunity to raise the vibration, elevate the room, lift souls… all by sharing what is good and honoring.

I have so many people in my life that do this soooo well and I love how they shine. To name a few, my sister (she stands alone!)… my friends Gloria, Melissa, Kira, Cindie, Michelle, Amy, Nan, Casi, Jennie and Candace. There are more and yet, I don’t thank them enough. Who are yours? They light a path for me and for others with their constant attention to their words being full of life and hope. What a gift.

I want my words to bring LIFE and JOY. I want my words (even when the conversation is challenging) to linger in souls, and to bring a feeling of true caring, warmth and genuine kindness. I know I really needed this reminder when I read this excerpt, and I hope that you all find this as powerful as I did. It flat out excites me that we can literally make our world better immediately by taking the time to be intentional with speaking out the good.

I hope that you will join me in doing just that. Let’s take some time to reach out and lift up those in our circle! Have a truly wonderful wrap to your week!

*At the request of her family, Jeff completed the book after Rachel’s untimely death- he did a wonderful job!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: I need you to know…

I thought a lot this week about both the beauty and fragility of life. With so much whirling around us, we could miss the extravagant world. As you go into your week, I wanted to leave you with a few thoughts that I hope remind you of who God says we are… It’s helpful to hear that we aren’t defined by our status, personality, possessions, habits or opinions of ourselves or others. Focusing our mind on truth is always a good idea. So, let’s fire up a short list.

I need you to know…

That you have everything you need to fulfill your purpose. (Col 2:10)

That you are forgiven for all of your mindless and even your intentional mistakes. Good to know, because I sure do make a mess sometimes and need this one! (1 John 2:12)

That you are the light of this world. Each of us are charged to bring forward the good and brighten the path for those around us. I LOVE THIS ONE! (Matt 5:14)

That you are MORE than a conqueror… fully equipped to to deal with what this life hands to you. ALSO.. AMAZING! (Romans 8:37)

That you are created for GOOD WORKS… Let’s BRING ON THE GOOD TOGETHER! (Ephesians 2:10)

That you are guarded by God’s Peace… WOW, this one is so essential… Anyone else? (Philippians 4:7)

My friends, there is SO MUCH MORE… you are blessed, protected, accepted, healed, surrounded by God’s mercy, never alone, sufficient, STRONG, joyful, and absolutely WONDERFULLY MADE!

It’s a hard world out there some days and weeks and even years. Yet, we are so much more than we often call to mind. You are also covered in prayer and I am hoping that you have the most incredible week ahead.

More perfect days: 3 ideas to MAKE IT HAPPEN

What is YOUR perfect day? This picture took me back to the days where you could drive down the highway in the back of a pick-up truck and the thought brought a smile. We’ve all heard the message that we only have so many hours, days and weeks, and that we would be wise to live our lives as if we may not have another chance tomorrow. It’s not the cheeriest message, but it is true and I know many of you have come face-to-face with that. It strikes me that a worthy goal for all of us could be to have more “perfect days.” Perfect as in: What really warms your heart, brings you energy, a smile and a deep sense of joy? Identify it, and then do it!

I love to ask this question as an ice breaker because it is a blast to hear everyone’s version. I love learning and observing the endless ways people live their lives and soak up happiness. Surfers, farmers, old car collectors, chefs, runners, quilters… all of it! I got to thinking it may be useful to blog about it! As always, I hope this is helpful as we all strive toward serving this world in a way that only we can.

  1. Get some CLARITY around what a perfect day looks like for you. I love to wake up early, add in a bit of exercise, a trip to the farmer’s market, spend time with someone I love, and maybe take a nap… On the other hand, I also love to have a lazy day with no schedule and the ability to just let the day flow as it does – reading, listening to great music, the latest Netflix binge, a good bottle of wine… There are no wrong answers! I see value in being specific – What food will you eat? What exercise will you do? Two or three versions of your perfect day could be a good start, including a work day!
  2. Next, SCHEDULE these! Living out our best lives takes INTENTION. I know this sounds easy, but it is truly amazing how you can look back on the past month and ask yourself how many “perfect” days you had and only be able to think of maybe one or two. Why is that? It’s because we have to put plans in place to clear off our days to ensure we MAKE IT HAPPEN. You may have to move things that aren’t your best yes, and that is simply okay. What if, for the month of November, you try to double the number of perfect days you had in October? Personally, that sounds like a goal worth my time.
  3. Share the idea with those in your immediate circle. Talk with your family, colleagues, etc., and ask them to do the same so you can hold each other accountable. Community is what connects us and helps us thrive. We truly cannot do this life on our own.

Here’s to another strong week and many perfect days ahead! Let’s wrap up 2021 with more joy than we started it with!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: A week of courage

Ryan Holiday is a terrific author. I have read almost all of his books (Ego is the Enemy, The Daily Stoic and Stillness is the Key (my fav)). His latest, “Courage is Calling” is worth a week of blog posts. I hope you will find these as wonderful (and helpful) as I have. Ryan’s books are easy reads – small but mighty.

On Sunday I try to focus in on how faith coincides with key insights that help us build better lives. Courage is a hot topic in this arena, and even those who weren’t raised around the church are usually familiar with the David and Goliath story. The epic battlefield scene that called on the least likely warrior (a young boy) to lead his tribe to victory in defeating the town giant. Sometimes life’s giants call us to overcome our fears with a strong dose of courage. How we might do that is worth some dialogue.

Lucky for us, there are countless people throughout history who have displayed crazy bravery. From Nelson Mandela, to Malala, to Teddy Roosevelt, Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks or perhaps your own parents or grandparents. The stories are worth learning and relearning in my opinion. In his writing, Holiday spends quite a bit of time focused on Florence Nightingale. I didn’t know just what an amazing human she was, and what a beautiful example of every day courage she demonstrated. I’m planning to spend more time on her in Wednesday’s blog. Today, I am focusing on perhaps the key to conquering our fears…

“We must make courage a habit,” is what was my greatest takeaway when you strip it all down. There are endless examples, from athletes who didn’t expect to hit the game-winning goal, to the lawyer who stood in front of the mirror reciting their rebuttal over and over, to the teenager who walked the halls before school started to get a bit more comfortable with that feelings of entering their next stage of life.

He continues, “How can you trust that you will step forward when the stakes are high, when you regularly don’t do that even when the stakes are low? So, we must test ourselves.” That is soooo good to me! The idea of how we navigate our own everyday lives by practicing the good we hope to produce seems fundamental, yet complicated. The decisions we make even when thinking about helping others with our resources comes to mind. Sometimes we are too afraid of not having enough, that we don’t give generously, even though we know we could meet a need of our friend or co-worker. Ruminating on the idea of practicing... testing ourselves doing everyday good is worthy of our thinking and of our efforts.

As we think through the idea of testing on the big things, It is clear that we must start with small things. The adage, “Do one thing each day that scares you,” is a step in that direction. I believe we must always be pushing ourselves to the other side of our comfort zone.

I recently finished up my scuba diving certification and it was way out of my comfort zone. Honestly, that surprised me, because I’ve always been an avid swimmer, but the idea of carrying around an oxygen tank on your back and going 30 feet under seems daunting. Nevertheless, I made it a personal goal to do hard things, especially as I get older. The instructor almost didn’t get me to finish because I was quite adamant that I just didn’t want to, and frankly didn’t see the point during that moment of near panic. The bottom line is that I, for some reason, was too scared. He ultimately was successful by getting me to just “go on a little swim” over and over until I eventually built up the courage to keep going so I could pass the certification. It may seem like an insignificant example but I assure you, this is how I and others have done almost everything that was scary to them: by continuing to move forward, one small step at a time.

Regardless of if it’s deciding to push yourself physically, to become emotionally uncomfortable for a bit while you address a hard conversation, or if it’s something spectacular, it all starts by practice – forward progress in the direction you are headed. David did this during his daily practice as a shepherd boy, and most likely so did everyone else that has encountered a courageous moment.

My faith gives me courage, and my friends do as well. My boys give me this unbelievable desire to stay strong and be courageous in all that I do. I hope that you will feel called to be courageous and in one way or another, be inspired to practice courage daily. Sometimes just getting through the day should be considered practice. Sometimes we have to think through what areas of our lives have we really not prepared ourselves really well? What stress or pain points need confronted with a bit of Rosa Park’s bravado? I have a short list and imagine you may as well.

As I close out today’s post, I leave you with my son’s favorite Bible verse. It’s a good one and he picked this in 3rd grade, proving it is never too early. “Be on your guard. stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.” (1 Corinthians 16:13).

I think I’ll go try to do that this week! Anyone else?

#HeardOnPeloton: “I make suggestions, you make decisions.”

Many of you know I’m a huge fan of the Peloton bike. It has been the single greatest resource to get me up and moving. The coaches provide me the encouragement I need to maintain continuity and leave every ride better. Last week, this little inspirational “nugget” stopped me in my tracks, and I promptly added it to my notes on my phone. It was destined to be a blog post.

Anyone else find this statement to be profound? The Peloton instructors offer so much more than the physical challenges on the bike. They bring narratives that remind us we star in the show of our life. God knows that we have too many voices shouting (figuratively) to us at what seems like the majority of our days. We also have these quiet nudges that seem to be the most useful. I like to think of these as God prodding me in one direction or another. Others point to the psychology of human behavior; I suspect both are contributors.

Richard H Thaler’s book, “Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness,” is actually sitting in my read/re-read stack right this minute. The book has mixed reviews but offers value in pointing to the small and subtle pushes that help guide our choices.

For consideration today: How do we identify and think through these? Are they a call to something greater, or perhaps only a distraction?

Ultimately, I believe most of us, stoics and simple minded humans alike, are trying to optimize life. Who doesn’t want to take these suggestions and end up with something for ourselves and our family? The remarkable nature of the human mind and spirit gives us more latitude here than we likely need. It would be easy to have one or two choices, but freedom is a gift that is also a challenge. In my assessment, we simply have to realize the power of the choices we make. We have to go into each day, each meeting, each activity we start or stop… all of it, with a pre-decision. I’ve written about the concept before, but ultimately the thought, which was coined by Mark Batterson (@markbatterson), revolves around what we decide a head of time. “I am going to push myself today. I am going to have an easy ride. I am going to enter this conversation with a heart full of love. I am going to make a healthy choice for my food intake today.” You get the point. We have a world of options that we take in… we listen for the nudges, and then we decide.

Today, I am making a decision to live out my best life. To go forth slowly while praying earnestly for discernment and wisdom. To consider the nudges, but to be aware that not everything or everyone is in my best interest. I am going to surround myself with wise counsel and people who bring out the best in me. How about you?

Cheering you all on! Have an incredible week and enjoy every hour of these beautiful fall days.

Called to write again: Imagining the impact we might have

Happy Wednesday, everyone! My last post on June 9* shared that I was in construction/remodel mode, which is true in almost every aspect of my life. The remodel at home is 90+% complete and the other parts of my life are clearly on their own time table. Those who have been a student of life for more than a few decades, know that we are always in some type of “updating” as we navigate the journey God has for us, and that, my friends, is by grand design and that is absolutely wonderful to know and live out. However, we must acknowledge that the path is not always well laid out and often is full of debris and weathered. (And thank God for the times that the same path is clearly marked, smooth and even sunny with birds chirping as we stroll by.)

Let’s chat about that for a moment. We all seem to hear over and over again that the last 19 months have been unprecedented. The reality it, we don’t know the full extent and impact of this to our wellbeing quite yet. We actually have no real way to know if or when this will return to the way of life we knew prior to March of 2020.

Adam Grant wrote a great piece in the New York Times, identifying the feeling as “languishing.” The term is defined by not really making progress, stagnating and watching what is happening, almost as if you are an outsider looking in at your life. If you dig a bit deeper, you will also find that languishing can mean the “absence of mental health,” and is synonymous with “sinking, weakening or wilting.” Humans were created with a mind for forward progress and momentum, so this feeling takes us off our center.

The Bible (my go-to) is clear that we are to be productive and to contribute, so when we get stalled, this feeling is real and supported. Everyone I know seems to have this deep knowing that something is not quite right, and the idea of “languishing” resonates some days.

So, how should we think about this reality we find ourselves in? What options do have to not just endure them, but to make an impact and the best kind of forward progress? I’m not an expert of course, but a midwestern lady that happens to have a passion for learning and also for loving people, so I’ll give it my best shot today.

Here’s what I think God wants me to share: Humans may have been created for forward movement, but above that we are called to honor. My life verse is Romans 12:10, “Outdo one another in showing honor…be affectionate to your brethren and love one another; be preferring and honoring of one another…” It’s the most clarifying thought to me, regardless of where we are in the pandemic or our construction process. No matter what, we are given truly wonderful guidance to honor, to love and to serve each other. (Side note: Keep your eyes and heart open for
who God lays on your heart. It might be someone unexpected.)

So, what if today we all just focus on that? What would happen if we all brought forward our full selves in not just a spirit of honor for each other, but in faith in action? My friend Joey, is my mentor on this topic. Where can your actions support your faith and your desire to honor, love and serve? Who needs a bit of your joy today? Imagine the impact that would have?

Thank you again for following this writing. I am trying to up my prayer game, so I am committing to you today that I am doubling down on prayer for each of you and cheering you on wherever life finds you today!

Quick closing note: I mentioned in my post from June that I want to do things differently, and that’s still in the works. If you or someone you know is interested in helping with design or in getting a newsletter format off the ground, please let me know!

Under construction: Currently in design mode

So thankful today for the many readers who have reached out to ask if I’m still writing. Why YES, I am! I should have posted something to let the group know that I am “remodeling” the writing model.

I started writing the blog initially in May of 2015. Six years have flown by. I initially started 3 days a week and then went to 2 with less than a handful of short breaks. It has been an incredible adventure. So many of you have provided such wonderful insights and encouragement to me along the way. I often have someone tell me they share this weekly with their entire team, which brings me incredible joy. It’s often the posts I worry didn’t resonate where I have someone reach out to me with a heartfelt thank you as it somehow met them at an important time on their journey. That’s the whole reason I feel God led me to do this and continues to lead my ideation and content creation.

Over that time, we have posted more than 750 blogs, tens of thousands of email newsletters opened, and too many emails and comments to list, but the engagement is appreciated and so helpful to everyone reading. The power is in us not feeling alone as we navigate the complexities of life.

The next version will be a bit different but same goal! 

In preparation for that, I would love for you to go to To Serve Well and sign up to become an email subscriber. Google analytics gives us great data, but we really need those with emails to sign up formally. As I prepare to publish my book, the industry uses email subscribers versus Facebook, Instagram or Twitter followers as their “true” followers guidelines. The goal is to reach more people in hopes of providing words that uplift us all and give us thoughtful questions to consider as we strive to serve the best in our homes, communities and workplace.

One more thing… These are always intended to be super brief, because we all know time is precious. Feeding our minds with what is good and helpful is critical. All said, I know many have converted to listening to short video format on podcasts or other mediums. If you are one of those please let me know. I am in the “design” mode and definitely thinking through a short-form podcast, but want it to truly be in the spirit of this blog. (Think a one-minute read or listen.) Let us know! Ashley, (my superstar editor and publisher) and I would love nothing more than to meet you where you are in reducing the noise to only the work that actually helps achieve our purpose in life.

Thank you so very much! Still praying for you all daily, still cheering you all on! I hope to be back up around back-to-school time!

“Bring My People Together”

My takeaways from Mindy Corporon’s new book, “Healing a Shattered Soul.”

I was fortunate to receive a copy of this book from Mindy, and I want to share some thoughts I had after I closed the final page. Although I walked some of this journey with Mindy, there was an enormous part I had no idea about, and I am incredibly grateful that she wrote this book. It is a must read for anyone who has had a major loss. Even for those of us who have not, the book helps us to be a better friend for those who cross our paths who have.

The purpose of this blog is to focus on “serving well.” Just how do we do that in our homes, workplace and community? This books brings forward so much good in answering that question in perhaps the toughest challenge we face as humans. Just how can we do that in a crisis? One where there are no words, and often so incredibly uncomfortable that you don’t even want to lean in at all for fear of somehow making it worse. As Mindy shares, those people that leaned in actually helped her and her family through the most painful days. And still today – 7 years later – provide them energy, prayer and the strength to use their story to better our world. Leaning in is important and the stories weaved throughout this book offer us countless ways to do just that. It’s powerful.

The title of today’s blog pivots to the center message that Mindy has heard God speaking to her since that tragic day: “Bring your people together.” The work that Mindy and her family have led over the past several years has done just that.  Their desire to bring together people to develop knowledge and an understanding of our interfaith differences has been timely for where we find ourselves in at this point in our nation’s history. If you aren’t familiar with the work, check out Give Seven Days. Their themes of “Love, Discover, Others, Connect, You and Go,” provide a basis for the mission which spans both interfaith and multi-generational opportunities to better our community.

The significance of how God has orchestrated this tragedy for good in this world is further evidence that good can and will come out of the bad if we listen and commit our actions to the work.   Mindy shares in the book this quote, “It was clear to me that following His (God’s) direction that night immediately gave me strength and comfort.” I love that, because I have found that be true, and a constant reminder is helpful. Somehow, when we listen to God, the peace and strength that gives us is second to none. It’s a beautiful experience and one I have realized a few times in my life. I need to listen more.

I could go on and on with insights today, but I want to leave it with what I feel is the perfect wrap-up quote from Mindy’s book. The message brings together this idea of service and also her mission to make good come…

“Just as family and friends were instruments of God, available to breathe life into me, I have picked up my own cross to pay it forward to help others find healing, hope, and inspiration.” 

My prayer is that we will all be able to be instruments when the need arises and that we will have the courage to pick up our cross in whatever areas God sends us and act boldly, knowing God is with us. If you follow Mindy’s story (and I hope you do from now on if you haven’t) you will see a life well-lived, in action. She is an absolute inspiration for me and gives me courage and bravery along life’s twists and turn. I am forever grateful.

I hope you will pick up this book and both learn and then share it with anyone you know who might have experienced a serious loss. It will be very useful to them as they process their grief and find themselves on a path to healing.