To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Inspiration

A Summer Series: Re-centering on what’s important

I am writing this on Sunday and it’s my mom’s birthday! Yay for 79th birthdays. Yay for life. As many of you who read this know, life is fragile… as in we or our loves ones can be living our best lives one moment and the next. Celebrations of all kinds are the very best parts of life; as is ensuring we are centered enough to devote our limited energy to what truly is important.

One of scriptures I’ve thought through often over the years references Jesus, “withdrawing to the mountain alone.” There are times he went with his disciples and times alone. I can resonate with that. At times, being alone seems crucial. And at times, I need to be surrounded by my best girlfriends (and of course my boys at other times!). The Bible references stories of him being among the “multitudes,” and then the need to remove himself to seek re-centering. I personally have always been more likely to want to “withdraw” to the water, and long walks on country roads or a wooded trail. Regardless, I envision Jesus resting in a cabin wherever he is, journaling, walking, napping, breathing deeply… all with an intentional focus on drawing himself closer to what he might hear from God. An attempt to find wisdom, to discern his next steps and to restore his soul so that he could engage fully.

This summer is different for me personally, so I don’t have any plans yet for a “cabin” retreat. I am in transition from KC to Arizona and my frequent travel is to make it back to see the fam. For 13 years, we went to a family camp, Pine Cove, in the beautiful Texas pines, and my heart and mind were always reinvigorated in the absolutely best way.

As I write this, I am realizing that this re-centering just has to happen, even this year, and probably, ESPECIALLY this year. When life get’s a bit crazier than we hope, we likely should double down on the recenter and restore playbook. My advice to my younger self, as well as all of those out there that may need it, is to absolutely commit yourself to this practice in your life. Stop what you are doing and create a retreat – any space that serves the purpose of restoration.

If you have favorite practices in this category of “re-centering” please send them my way and I’ll post out over the summer! I’ll be praying for all of you! Prayers for all good things… for just enough sunshine, ice cream cones, watermelon, fireflies, afternoon naps… and love overflowing.

Life: Gear changes, adapting and new rhythms…

What a wonderful read. Tunde Oyeneyin was a new instructor at Peloton right around the start of the pandemic. I have my favorite for sure, but Tunde is a nice change up and her bold presence resonates when I need a bit more than a push. I didn’t know her story, but I certainly knew that her youthful spirit brought a bit of spice and that she’s definitely a fire starter & thought provoker. She released her first book, ‘Speak,’ recently. It is sooo good! Trust me, it’s an easy read that offers something universally impactful on every page. And if you don’t really care about all of that, the book just down right looks great. The cover is FANTASTIC! I’d definitely recommend you add it to your summer lake, beach, mountain… or backyard reading list.

Now, let’s dive a bit into the quote above. Tunde happens to be talking about the unexpected deaths of her brother and mom & dad in this context. Throughout the book, she also covers her life experience in education, race and culture, adjusting to new cities, relationships, health/weight challenges, and career changes… effortlessly moving from one very real topic to the next.

The quote above is just flat out the truth. We face all manner of “gear” changes. (My memory of gears is getting my bell bottom jeans caught in them and finding myself with skinned knees. Anyone else?) We often find ourselves having to work through the challenge… questioning whether or not the bike is going to self correct, or if we are the ones who need to make an adjustment. All being real possibilities, including getting stuck and falling face down… or the alternative, pushing through and watching the bike adjust and power through.

I happen to like the idea of “rhythms.” I find myself trying to find the new one in each chapter and season of my life. With fits and starts, I always pray that I will find myself locking in and adapting. Somehow, I always have… I suppose we are all naturally resilient in that way. It’s definitely not at all always easy to find, but there truly is not many better feelings to me than the wind in my hair as the bicycle finds the natural stride of the terrain… movement is indeed medicine. Here’s to a season of honoring where we find ourselves and rocking it to the crazy beautiful rhythm of life.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Look back at the evidence. Pursing a lifetime of celebrations.

It was truly wonderful to be at my son Sam’s law school graduation this week. Nineteen years of school and he’s now achieved the goal he set for himself as a young boy. Our lives are made of our hopes and dreams, and in the process we are exposed to all manner of people, thoughts, experiences, fears and even magical moments that fill the gaps on the way there. 

I love graduations because they force us to reflect. They force us to hold the weight of what we or a loved one has accomplished. As we wait for the graduates to march in, listen to voices of those who have shared this journey, as a teacher, mentor or peer… and finally watch them boldly take the stage to physically accept their diploma, our minds have the opportunity to process the significance of the moment.

One of the speakers used the thought above in his words to the graduates: “Look back at the evidence.” He went on to talk how the process of law school had “unearthed capacities” they didn’t know they had. I liked that. It seems life is always “unearthing” capacities we have no idea we can achieve. How cool! This narrative points us to how important it is to consider where we have walked and how our day to day small actions add up and ultimately curate the story of our lives.  Look back at the evidence of your life and revel in where you are today.  

Pursuing celebrations early and often has almost always been a life mantra of mine. I’m thankful for this week’s reminder. It’s spring, graduation season and the ideal time to absorb, reflect and yep… celebrate. Cheers to anyone who is a graduate or who may be celebrating someone they love this month. May those moments be held tightly and honored as they well should be.  

The hardest job you will ever love: Mother’s Day

Sitting here preparing to write, I was a bit perplexed on where to focus – and then I fell upon Ann’s blog, which is simply magical if you ask me. I have so many authors I love, but Ann Voskamp has one of the most incredibly impactful & poetic voices of our generation. Here are some quotes on this topic of motherhood that truly are profound… good conversation starters (if you will) for today’s blog post.

“Parenting is never about how your kids turn out. It’s always and only about how you keep turning toward your kids and their Maker.”

She urges us to keep “turning toward.” I love that. My interpretation… to turn in, to lean in, to listen and take it ALL deep into our souls. (Try is really what I mean… try to listen to understand). To experience the full onset of the messy days and celebratory moments is really what motherhood is all about, isn’t it? It’s literally ALL of it: the tough conversations, the midnight hours of fever and illness, the conflict, the sitting together silently waiting for someone to speak, and sometimes shared tears (or silent tears). And of course the very best parts – the dancing in the kitchen or on wedding reception floors, traveling & experiencing our world together, the car rides to practice, the curbside coaching moments and the bedtime rituals that fill our homes with love. The most critical to me: the constant refocus of myself and the boys to their Maker. I have found that to be the single element of truth in everything good and every struggle. Re-centering…often daily on God somehow brings it all forward as growth and goodness if we allow it.

“The work of every parent is to give the best they know how now, and the work of every child is to forgive their parents the best they can now.”

Does that just resonate? We as parents do what we think is best in the moment. Sometimes we know within minutes it was not our most shining moment, and sometimes we don’t know until years later that our words or actions were an epic fail. Nevertheless, we live out the days truly trying to do the best with what we have in that moment, be it knowledge, resources or emotional capacity. Someday our kids will understand that… but not quite yet. We live in that gap generally.

And then there is this part of the child forgiving “the best they can now.” Here’s the thing I love about that statement, “The best they can now:” We all… in every time of our lives, have certain levels of capacity to forgive, to give, to love, to whatever. Our capacity ebbs and flows and is largely dependent on the strength of our spiritual life in that season of our lives. We must remember that we all do what we can for the most part. Forgiveness, therefore is essential for both the parent and child. Grace – early and often!

“Motherhood is never about training your children to be so good they won’t ever fall, it’s about letting them see you fall in love every day with a good God.”

If I don’t do anything else in my life as a mother, and hopefully some day a grandmother, I hope that they will see me fall in love every day with a good God. It’s something I am committed to and fully believe that all levels of good, stressful, scary and beautiful moments can be worked thru if we all stay focused on this truth. Being focused on God is central to Motherhood for me so far…. directing and redirecting ourselves and our children in the ways we know how.

Offering deep thanks today for my mother who in this season is the very best cheerleader and spiritual supporter. Also so much love to the many mother figures I have had in my life. God has always provided the most amazing women to step in and meet me right where I needed their love and support and I am forever grateful. If you get a moment today, reaching out to some of those would be a truly wonderful things for us all to do! Sending love to you all.

‘Tis the Season… Energy rising, building momentum and a “should” detox.

Who is so thankful for Spring? It somehow seems magical when the weather is “just perfect” or at least “near perfect” and you can put on your tennis shoes and get a walk in… You can almost feel the momentum of your energy building. The impact of getting outside and taking in nature is so important to our overall health and wellness that when the conditions make that possible, we should take the hint and get moving.

As many of you know, I am a Peloton fan, and specifically that of Robin Arzon. I find her to be just what I need with a balance of motivation, real talk and a bit more than a gentle push… all in the spirit of helping us achieve whatever is best for us. That’s important because she readily acknowledges that all levels and all seasons of life are represented in her virtual classes, and often encourages modification. Somehow I think it is really important that all of us know that in life – whether it’s in fitness, food, mental wellness, spiritual, financial…or “name a segment of life” – modification is important. Sure, I know personally that I need pushed out of my comfort zone, but overall, if I am going to sustain pretty much anything, I need to fully be able to “modify” without feeling bad, weak, or anything that’s not supportive (or else… I’ll just stop… anyone else?).

In a class I took last week, Robin shared that she was going on a “should detox.” How awesome is that? Simply, replace “should” with “can!” As in, replace “I should have had a salad, but the pasta on the menu is what they are known for, so I really just had to…” with “I can have the pasta, but it’s not in alignment with where I want to be right now in my physical health, so I am going to choose the salad.” Okay, so that was too easy, but you get the point.

Who wants to see their ENERGY RISE even higher this Spring? I am at the front of the line. Along with the beautiful Spring days and the endless opportunities we have to step into our power through healthy decisions… for example, the “should detox,”… we have all we need to get moving and inspire ourselves and each other to action. I’d love to hear your tips… I know my friend Michelle would say “play Pickle Ball as much as possible,” and Anaxis would say, “increase your water.” I could go on! It’s energizing to share ideas on a topic that brings us so much good. Perhaps this week, our goal could be to start our conversations by asking for others to share their tips. In doing so, we can literally raise the ENERGY and VIBRATION of the environment around us!

Have an incredible week my friends!

All kinds of powerful truth here: “I am not allowed to leave out of fear.”

‘Between Two Kingdoms,’ the absolutely astounding memoir of Suleika Jaouad, has too many profound thoughts to process probably in several lifetimes; however, the one above is all kinds of powerful. Her book is within the storyline of a cancer diagnosis in her early 20s that somehow seems to traverse through so many of the themes of our lives – those who have experienced great physical loss and those whose loss has come in other ways. There is so much magic in the beauty of her writing…it is like none other I have read. Her diagnosis, leaving her with clear wisdom and a desire to share it with the world. We all are so much better for it. (Just a reminder, that sharing your story is one of the most charitable and important things you can do in your lifetime. It is how we all rise above our tides… shared humanity. Please share yours!)

“…But I force myself to live by a rule: I am not allowed to leave out of fear.” … (In this case, she is on a solo road trip, a 100 day one.. trying to find herself after a long journey of one health crisis after another.)

The mind runs through so many possible scenarios here where leaving out of fear seems like a reasonable plan…

A tough physical challenge (and to be honest, sometimes even a harder than normal bike ride.)

A challenging season in a relationship… or better yet… entering a new “room” or relationship

Addressing optimal health & happiness (I know friends who won’t get a physical, colonoscopy, mammogram… see a therapist… all because of fear)

As you can see, I sometimes change out the word “leave” for “act” but in all cases, it is the same. Human nature is to run from what is not comfortable… to relieve ourselves of the perceived pain of hard conversations and pushing ourselves beyond what our simple minds believe we can achieve. We can often do so much more. Fear is the queen of lies, and often what holds us back from the best parts of growth and life.

It’s totally normal, and yet, we have to continue “moving” as my grandmother would say. Keep moving. Keep forging ahead. DO NOT LET YOURSELF LEAVE BECAUSE OF FEAR… A phrase I am going to tattoo in my mind. A real one isn’t a bad idea. I wish I had this truth much earlier in my life. I’m writing this for that reason. I am hopeful some younger folks as well might commit to this BOLD DECISION. What areas of your life do you find yourself having that urge to run? To get the heck out of dodge? To find a calmer pasture? When you feel that, consider making a commitment to yourself to be sure it is not due to a fear that you can possibly work through and perhaps be much stronger for on the other side. One breath and one step at a time.

Here’s to a strong week … a strong year… a strong LIFE. I am cheering you all on!

Simple thoughts Sunday: The wilderness taught David to see beauty everywhere

When my grandparents used to travel, they would come home and be so proud of their photos. They took the time to print them and put the pictures under those protector sheets for safe keeping and for display. At the time, I thought it was so boring – picture after picture of mountains, fields, and birds… I wanted more go-karts and less potted flowers, I guess.

My, how things have changed.

I’m not sure entirely if it’s age and wisdom, or how Apple’s iPhone has creates endless possibilities and opportunities to be creative. Maybe both! Regardless, I find myself mesmerized by the beauty in a yellow-breasted bird sitting on the fence, visiting me for breakfast. The soaring mountains, the painted deserts, the astounding perfect design of moss growing on a fallen tree on a long winter’s walk, and the aging hands of those a couple of decades ahead of me. So of course i take ample pictures of all of these things. As of today, I have 42,224 pictures, to be exact.

But back to my point: Beauty can be found everywhere. I’m sure my grandparents knew that those mountains and rivers of life had deeper meaning that they learned as they traversed their lives. What I know is that often the more painful and challenging parts of our lives seem to create a pause that offers us this incredible time to look up, look around and realize that once you get off of the highway, you find yourself surrounded by beauty.

I am so thankful for these moments – every last one of them. I’m grateful for the season I just left, which presented me with another opportunity to see God’s beauty throughout my life. I pray that I will use this to serve well in every day I am given.

I heard a message once that said you are either in the middle of a challenging season, just left one, or are headed into one. In other words: We’ve all been there most likely. Wherever this message finds you today, know that you are not alone. In fact, God has given us more love and beauty than we can imagine. Look around, breathe deeply and know that God will unveil all manner of stunning and extravagant love in so many forms when we are ready and willing to receive. In the midst of our adventures, let the simple bird pictures be plentiful.

Cheers to a wonderful week ahead and the ability to walk into the days with finding and serving up beauty at the top of our to do lists.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Let’s have some urgency over our lives

What does that mean to you? The comment has stuck with me since I heard it.

Robin Arzon is an outstanding Peloton instructor, but more than anything, she is a motivator through and through. A year or so ago I did a series on the blog called #HeardOnPeloton… almost all courtesy of her passion and ability to share it with enough power to get your attention. We all need more people like Robin surrounding us. People who speak LIFE, STRENGTH and ENCOURAGEMENT. Anyone else agree?

As we step into the year ahead, we have an open canvas available for us to create and curate beautifully. One really great step is to ask God what He has for us in this season… Asking ourselves, what is my season declaration? How do I claim this BOLDLY? Run toward – not stroll leisurely, to use Eugene Peterson’s words.

“…I want you to get out there and walk-better yet, run! On the road God called you to travel. I don’t want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don’t want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline-not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each in acts of love.”

Ephesians, 4:1-2-Message version

My declaration/”word” of the year is IMAGINE. As in design, build, create… I am claiming this for so many reasons, but primarily, I want to advance good in this world. I have found that in order to do this, I need to stay positioned in prayer and surrounded by people that throw around kindness and their brilliance around like confetti. How about you? As we go into week two of 2022, I am praying for each of you and believe in our collective power to make this year the very best year!

A bias for action… 3 to take by the end of the year (in the category of life optimization!)

Photo cred: Washington Post

The story behind this picture is incredible. The headline stated: “A man strung Christmas lights from his home to his neighbor’s to support her. The whole community followed.”

A bit more detail: In this Baltimore neighborhood, a family received a text from their neighbor that cookies were on the porch and that he had connected their houses with lights to reinforce that they were always connected despite the pandemic lockdown. The neighbor had previously shared that she was dealing with depression and anxiety, as well as grieving the loss of a loved one and struggling with work-related stress. The mounting pressure had led to panic attacks and her neighbor could relate. In the days that followed, the neighbors – one by one – followed suit and stretched lights from one end of the street to the other.

“The lights were a physical sign of connection and love,” quoting the man who started it all via the Washington Post article. Going on, “What blows my mind is that it was all organic… it just happened… It just grew out of everybody’s desire for beauty and joy and connection.” (Check out the full article – it’s great!)

Ending a year well to me is primarily about this message; the overarching message the “Love Lives Here” is worthy of a tattoo if you ask me. It strikes that inner knowing that we are meant for so much more. That we can if we choose to use both our painful experiences/memories and all of the good moments and kindness we have been a part of, we can inspire the world around us. All of us have this ability and that is proven by countless stories of those in dire situations who rise above.

So, what three actions can we take as we finish off 2021? They may look a little different for each of us, but here are the insights that I feel are “must haves” to truly finish strong. My wish is that one or more might resonate with you and ignite something that will help move you to the best version of yourself.

1. Take inventory. (Look behind to look forward.) There is no shortage of “21 lessons learned in 21,” and some are useful for getting our memories ignited. Often I go through pictures on my phone to remember the moments that stood out. Taking inventory of the year belongs on this “must do” list. We are only given so many years, and time is fleeting. I happen to believe that almost all of life’s happenings are by design and that the people we meet, and experiences we have all have a purpose; whether in a moment, a month, season or lifetime. Take inventory of what stood out to you this year, including the highlights and lowlights and learnings and musings… Bonus points if you store it somewhere where you can create a system for future reflection. (Anyone else rely on the “notes” app on their phone?)

I did this a few days ago and WOW. I had forgotten some really important moments and lessons and it reminded me of what I truly want in my life: To be vulnerable, one was how my sister and I have had more time this year for coffee dates. Those meaningful conversations on the patio of Meadowbrook Park, have been a big part of my life this year. They have guided me and provided a warm and loving space to connect with my first and forever best friend. Too many years have gone by where we didn’t make time for these deeper moments, and it has meant the world to me.

2. Create a gratitude plan. Using the inventory, be it 5 things or 100, identify where you really owe some thanks. It could be for a lesson learned, the neighbor that pulled your car out of the ditch, (or the friend that symbolically did the same for you on a bad day…) or your own family for extending love even when you perhaps could not. Now, go out and thank those people. One meaningful conversation can be just a powerful as a bunch of short texts or messages. Let your heart lead you! (I know we talk about gratitude quite often, but the increasing research on happiness seems to always be sourcing back to starting with gratitude. I am convinced that doubling down on being grateful and taking the time to acknowledge people and the good that is ever present is critical in today’s society.)

One example here is that my friend Joanne, who is always the one that is so good about ensuring we stay connected, decided to start inviting me over for coffee realizing my schedule was typically very full. She has great wi-fi and always accommodated me taking work calls if we talked too close up to my next meeting. She took a normal Tuesday morning and turned it into something exceptional. They were some of my favorite days and it was easy. I feel full of gratitude as I reflected on these special moments. As you can see, this idea of really thinking through allows you to plan your future days and create the life you really want.

3. Set your intentions. Energy is a precious commodity. We must be mindful of where and how we use it if we are to optimize our days in this often fast paced contemporary world. My grandmother, at 96, said, “You have to keep getting up and moving, even if you don’t feel like it.” I hope to never forget that, because it is profound. She set her intention to do just that every day as she aged and this alone makes the case for the power for of intention. We have to decide what we want and in that way we begin to manifest our days.

One of my boys shared with me that he really wanted 2022 to be about building his financial health, get some savings in place, invest etc. I loved that because whether or not he knew it, he was setting an intention. We will go deeper in this topic as we launch the new year with some other ideas such as creating life maps and our “one word,” but for today, the idea is to think through the base of what you want as you move forward into a new year. The bottom line is that if you know what you want out of it, you can drive your energy (mental, physical etc.) toward supporting that desire. When it is all aligned, it sets forth the best path for success.

As you go into the Christmas weekend, I am praying that you all have an absolutely warm and wonderful time, filled with whatever brings you love and hope. As this beautiful neighborhood illustrated for us, LOVE LIVES HERE… Indeed, it does!

Entering 2022 with a spirit of JOY

I can’t even! I am so over the moon still about the wedding earlier this month, and I can’t keep smiling. JOY.

I made a note a few weeks ago that I wanted to blog about “entering” a state of joy. It seems so powerful to me, this idea of entering… No matter what is going on in our lives, we have so much to be grateful for. So much joy literally outside our window, in the next room, or a call away. Throughout the year we get beat up a bit, start to feel weary from the activity and the noise, and we often can’t seem to pull away from that feeling. Starting in November, we circle the calendars for Thanksgiving. and somehow turn our minds toward the joy of life.

Here’s a thought: What if we entered every single day in 2022 with joy?

Sure, not every day, year or even decade brings us a wedding, a birth or some other major celebration, but EVERY SINGLE DAY there is so much good to be found. (And YES, sometimes WE HAVE TO BRING IT!)

I have often talked in the blog about the power of a pre-decision. Pretty much everything from building a healthier emotional life or staying disciplined to a physical wellness routine is dependent on if we have made a strong decision and commitment to that practice. So, I believe that we can and SHOULD call out 2022 as the YEAR OF JOY. Entering every room we walk into with the intention of finding and sharing JOY. Bringing a heart of sincere gratitude to our days… quietly starting our mornings with a renewed promise to ourselves to OWN the JOY around us.

I know it sounds a bit over the top, but goodness, after 2020 and 2021, we need an ENERGY SHIFT and that is going to take some crazy joy. Remember flash mobs a few years ago? Those impromptu singing & dance performances where people have fun? SO COOL! Let’s bring those back!

Who’s on this JOY TRAIN with me? I’d love to break down anything that’s been holding us back and doing it with each other is, well, THE BEST! TOGETHER ALWAYS MAGNIFIES.

Sending love and JOY to you all on this third week of ADVENT which just happens to be the JOY CANDLE!