To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Grit

Vibe check: So, how’s it really going?

We have somehow almost pushed our way through May. Virtual and adapted graduations have largely come and gone, school is wrapping up, and Memorial Day on Monday will be our official nod to the summer days ahead. Most of us have adjusted to our routines (Groundhog Day, anyone?) and, like it or not, are realizing that the parts of the reality we lived in a few months ago are now but a memory.

We forge on. Humans are resilient like that.

I love my Peloton bike and find the instructors to be inspiring and generally on point with messages that work for any rider, no matter where they may live. My latest, favorite motivational coach is Alex Toussaint. He has a motto: Vibe check! As in, how are we all doing?

With so many people working from home and having their lives disrupted in many ways, we may have moved too quickly to believing everyone has adapted and is doing okay. They may be doing “okay,” but are they thriving?

We all know that being off-center is normal in smaller doses, and that we generally bounce back. We need to remember that living in this feeling for longer periods of time can (and likely will) take a toll.

It feels to me like it’s time to check in on our vibe, as Alex would say. It’s time to check in on how we ourselves, honestly, are doing, as well as the ones we love.What can we do to help shift out of any place that’s not healthy and help lift each other up? What can we do to keep wellness top of mind? There are so many great resources out there. One of my favorites is from Dr. Michelle Robin, whose resources are life-changing. One of my favorite thoughts she shared just this week was in the context of “what are we dreaming of today,” authored by Carol Lakin.

D – Draft on those that believe in you
R – Relationship: be mindful of who is in your life
E – Enrich: always remember who lifted you up
A – Authentic: Do your work to make generational change (I love this. We can all use this time to give this thought. Moving toward fulfilling a purpose is always an ignitor for the soul.)
M – Meaning or Magic: thank you for giving me a magical life with meaning (I think this is a great time to share this message with someone who has had an impact on my life…)

I would love to hear your thoughts on wellness & how we can keep the vibe going strong. Cheers to warmer days and spreading lots of love where ever and whenever we can.

Guest blog: Finding joy while quarantined alone

(Enjoy today’s guest blog from my girl Ashley Jost, who helps keep the site rolling each week!)

From my first day working from home. Mind you, I sold my dining room set and my desk before moving here in December, so the ottoman doubled as a desk for those first few days. Also, note my exceptionally-needy coworker.

Like many others, I didn’t enjoy quarantine at first, though I knew it was the right thing to do. So much of the useful information I gather at work as a communications director comes from being in the presence of others, picking up on the dynamics, the politics and the opportunities. In the name of public health, I cast my selfish woes aside and hoped for the best.

That was mid March, when the mayor of the City of St. Louis announced the quarantine.

Hindsight is 20/20, and I have to admit I probably wasted those first few days – heck, maybe weeks – wallowing. I have friends who are quarantined with family, flooding social media with photos of board games and movie nights. Others are cooped up with spouses/partners, sharing pics of their sourdough starters and renovation projects.

At the time, watching everyone else’s highlight reel, I felt even more alone than I already was in my 650-square foot apartment. I moved here in December, started a new job in January and was still maneuvering my role in this new chapter. What a rush to put all of that progress I had made understanding the culture and relationship building on hold.

There wasn’t really a single moment I can point to as a turning point from the last six weeks. Perhaps it happened gradually. I started to re-create habits I had let go of over time, like reading 10 pages of a professional development book, and spending 15 minutes journaling – every day.

Then the walks started. I’m fortunate enough to be in a neighborhood where I can safely walk and avoid contact with others. I’d walk before my workday began and catch up on old podcasts from Rachel Hollis, soaking in discussions about mindset changes and leading with intention, unknowingly realizing that I was then living that truth once I got home and opened my Macbook.

The walks also made me think about my physical health and how sedentary the first few months at the new job had made me. I was also keenly aware of the impact not having office snacks and unlimited Diet Coke was having on the scale. (Hmm. Another thing to devote my energy to…) Then, one walk became three (sometimes four) walks. I break from my laptop for 20 minutes twice during the typical workday to sneak in a mile, letting Beyonce serenade me as I get my mind right for the next Zoom call.

Developing habits has been a game changer these past ~7 weeks. I’ve reconnected with what’s important to me, become a healthier version of myself both physically and mentally, and certainly (or hopefully, I should say) have become a better friend and colleague to others on my perpetual quest to serve well.

Sometimes, the simplest stories offer nuggets of inspiration. I hope that something about my personal experience during this pandemic hits home to you.

As Lori would say, I am cheering you on. ♥️

Step aside, fears: 5 ideas to pursue the good right now

I don’t normally write about faith, and specifically my belief in God, during the weekday posts, but given our current environment it feels important. Someone shared with me that in the Bible there are 366 references to “Do not Fear,” which for 2020, a leap year, is exactly 1 time for each day of the year. Isn’t that interesting?

I have to tell you, fear is real… At first I didn’t really like using that word, but I decided to look it up for the blog and I have to say this sort of resonates: an “unpleasant feeling, triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined.” Triggered. That is exactly what is happening. And if you are like me, and have a hard time looking away from your phone when you are otherwise not detained by work, a conversation or head down in a project or good book…then you are constantly being triggered from all matter of sources. Sometimes it’s funny images that add levity to the situation, and other times it’s the gripping news coming from hot spots around the world. All said, we have to be careful with what we are feeding ourselves in order to maintain as much peace as is possible.

What approach or idea may be better? My pastor shared the message in the image above on Sunday (online), and it’s written in BOLD in my journal now. The note I wrote to myself is what’s most important to me… Just how do I best pursue that right now?

Pursue defined: To follow… to capture… to chase…  

I can visualize chasing JOY right now! In fact, CAPTURING it and holding it close at every turn. (Side note: To me, God is love and love is joy and pursuing God is in fact chasing after what He desires for us.)

How about some practical ideas on how we can do this? Here are 5, but it’s so much more fun for you all to share your ideas, so please do that below!

  • Make a commitment to sharing what is good and fun! Some of my team members made a game of sending selfies with our “masks” and that was great for bringing joy into the day. One of my college friends sent over pics of her car decorated for a parade her and the other teachers created to drive through their district neighborhoods. That is chasing joy! My son sent me our favorite Twitter feed today:
  • Set a firm limit on how much screen time you will allow yourself… Seriously.
  • Take advantage of this unexpected time. It is a gift. Extra time for your kids, for special projects, for dreaming up ways to serve others.
  • Pump up the music? What’s your all-time favorite band? Music genre (hello ’80s!)? Make a playlist, have a dance party, sing-along or whatever to get your mind moving in a positive direction…Allow yourself to feel the shift in energy.
  • Surround yourself with positive! Positive messages, positive people (you may need to call or reach out to your most positive friend, or the one who always makes you laugh). Be so intentional about this that every day you wake up, commit to pursuing the positive! 

Your turn!

I am praying for our world, our city and for each of you and for your families. You are all a blessing! Let’s pursue service, love and joy – and find our fears step aside.

Easy is an ambush (a snare, a trap)

I especially love this synonym I found for easy: idiot-proof. 

When it comes to some basic things, like fixing a running toilet or a non-threatening sound coming from my car, easy is exactly what I’m looking for. This post isn’t about that.

I have to say, it’s really hard for me not to want to go straight to game day examples since we are coming right off of the BIG WIN, but I will resist because there are plenty of wonderful writers and thinkers filling our tanks with those strategies. (And I love every minute of it!)

Bringing us into focus, getting past our human desires to find comfort (Comfort food, anyone? Too many long & lazy weekends? An extra hit on the snooze button?) and to creating our best lives, we have to quickly get to the reality that easy truly is an ambush. What is an ambush? A surprise attack … that’s the primary definition. Something that sneaks up on us, like a surprise bill we weren’t counting on. Or consequences of a project we didn’t quite get to, or a health issue brought on by too many easy choices.

Idiot-proof should be the last thing we are looking for. We should instead be building our capacity, our skill set, moving toward healthy relationships and optimizing our energy. Those things require excellence and not ease. They require discipline, seeking great coaches, doing the deep thinking, hard work and praying.

Let us not be snared by the easy, but rather commit to going all in with all we have to be prepared, strong, healthy and at our very best in whatever season we are in.

I won’t ever get over the excitement of our Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl LIV win!! I hope their effort inspires us all to keep throwing the ball downfield no matter what comes our way!

Charging the gates with courage

My favorite colleague at work shared this quote with me. I am certain I’ve heard it before, but I had forgotten it along the way. It is classic Churchill, encouraging us to be strong in the midst of tough challenges. His “courage” dictum also found in this one you may have heard…

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, some time in your life” 

This work friend is fierce and a wonderful role model of effectively forging ahead against tough conversations. We all need to dismantle barriers and biases (and sometimes address the proverbial “elephant” in the room). She does this with finesse and elegance. It’s a gift, and one I feel we all need to polish up on.

Here’s what I have found so far: Courage takes an ongoing commitment to be true to what you know is the best for you, the team, etc. It takes dedication to not just “dial it in,” but to carefully craft a response, an approach, a business case if you will, to highlight your point of view. To counteract the conversation… to impact a decision that may well impact many others. We all have this inside gut check when we know that we need to come out from behind our desks and take that meeting, even when there may well be “dog barking” at the door. May we work toward being courageous.

I’d love to know your strategies. In the meantime, I am going to keep this quote close. It is inspiring and will help drive me toward the best in every conversation regardless of what opposition I may face.

Rewind! This post is a throwback to last summer, but timely and inspiring likely in any season of every year.

We have the power to choose

Today’s post is a throwback from 2017 that offers a simple reminder: We have the power to choose.

Choose a chaotic or calm approach? How do I really want my home and life to feel? To look?

Choose to make this a terrific summer, or choose for your days to be the same?

Choose to create a plan to make a difference, or not?

Choose to take action to achieve your dreams, or watch them pass you by?

Choose to save for that great trip, or keep stripping away funds via Starbucks runs and too much frivolous spending?

Choose to look up and smile more, enjoy the beauty, or walk around with your head down looking at your latest text/Instagram post/Facebook feed?

This is just a reminder that you get to choose. I love that… I for one welcome the reminder, and I hope you do, too! Cheering you on!

Leveling up: Time to take the difficult path

13.1 miles of me v. me a few weeks ago. Good news: I won.

Hey there, friends! Ashley here. I am the lucky one who gets to help Lori with To Serve Well. You heard from me once, back in 2017. It’s funny, because I only vaguely remember the woman who guest blogged that post about self care. In fact, for a while, I lost her.

I’ve been on a journey for years now – mostly physical health. You know that vicious cycle where you lose the weight and gain it back (lather, rinse, repeat).

But right now, I’m on a different journey – a journey to grow. A journey to level up. I’m on a journey to discover more about my own capacity to learn, to become more patient, kind, innovative and effective. I’m on a journey of evolution, watching the rewards trickle out into every part of my life, from the office to my dating life (a generous term, but we are rolling with it).

There’s absolutely nothing special about my ability to accomplish this over anyone else. It is sometimes messy and always hard, but it’s worth it.

Critical to my success these past three months is my willingness to have an open mind and heart to the messages of other people. Which brings us to a quote that I picked up recently that resonated:

I say no to a lot of stuff so I can have bandwidth and energy and dedication to the difficult path.

Robin Arzón

Please tell me that touched your soul the way it did mine. I mean, wow. It came from Peloton VP and instructor Robin Arzón, who Lori mentioned in a blog last week. I’ll include the podcast below if you’d like to take a listen. Her mindset about growth and persistence is really amplifying what I feel in my bones right now.

How often do you watch people around you take the easy route? They wander back into a relationship because it’s comfortable, or stay at the job they see no long-term opportunity in despite having a grand vision of starting a business. I hate to suggest it, but maybe that’s not just someone around you – maybe it’s you?

Let me bring it home for you. I devoted an alarming amount of bandwidth for months about whether I was in the right job and whether those around me thought I was capable in my role. Instead of letting that be a fleeting thought, it consumed me, and everything that was happening around me was, in turn, validating that negative mindset. But my gosh, friends, do you know what happened when I finally decided to take my version of the difficult path that Robin’s talking about? My life changed in a matter of months.

Between a mentor, a therapist, a financial planner, daily journaling, personal development books and podcasts galore, I feel armed and dangerous with a better understanding of what it means to be a strong woman here to serve myself well so I can be a better servant to those around me. And I was previously shut off to all of those resources and people, though I still don’t understand why.

I share a piece of my heart with you today, in the context of my girl Robin’s quote, in hopes you give the bandwidth, energy and dedication to whatever difficult path awaits your attention. Trust me. Come on in. The water’s fine.

Never underestimate the importance of reassurance

Throwback Thursday! Rewinding it to this relevant post from last year.

Sharing is caring… Always a truth I fully support. I read something similar to this phrase recently and I gave an internal standing ovation, which inspired me to share.

To me, this might be the most important reminder we all get this week, or even this month. Taking the time to reassure one another is so important to a healthy community. The best leaders get this. Parents do this often when children are younger. But we need to remember that this is necessary at all ages for ourselves, our family, and our colleagues.

Who can you reassure today? Get creative with your list. Throw a quick idea below… we would all love to ignite our imagination.

  • The UPS delivery person who delivers your Amazon Prime packages could use a thank you for a job well done.
  • The front desk team member who welcomed you and had you complete that “annoying” paperwork. (Which, I assure you, they weren’t thrilled about either…)
  • The grocery store clerk that is starting hour 8 of a 10-hour shift?

I hope that you have a strong end to your week! Thank you for taking a moment or two to read these heartfelt insights.

Being realistic about getting to a happy life

I had a revelation on Saturday. I am not entirely sure where it came from, but one of my dear friends was sharing with me that she didn’t know if she would ever get to happiness. I had a strong, clear reaction which kind of surprised me to be honest (since, like I’m sure many of you, sometimes happiness can be hard to nail down…). I guess it was somewhat of a lightbulb moment or a personal epiphany. Here’s what I responded to her statement:

Happiness is a moment – and then another moment.

I went on to say that sometimes I feel that America gives us a false hope that happiness is something we obtain – a pinnacle or a mountaintop where we stay once we achieve. (I also may have said that it was an American fantasy from hell, but maybe that was a bit strong?) In this moment, I somehow owned this while I was saying it. While I’m clearly not a researcher on happiness, I am compelled to believe this is the absolute truth.

Sure, happiness “is a choice” most days and through most seasons. We can choose to find joy in the smallest pleasures, like a light breeze hitting our face on a warm day, or a courageous flower popping up through the sidewalk crack. Oftentimes, happiness eludes us. We look right past the elderly couple holding hands in the grocery store, or the fact that we woke up breathing, or that were able to celebrate another birthday with friends and family.

Happiness… It’s in both the experiences we choose and those that choose us. A season of questioning or when your spirit just isn’t joyful, doesn’t mean you aren’t happy. It just means you are normal and that happiness is about to catch you again! Be on the lookout for those. A happy life is a compilation of happy moments. Cheering you all on!