To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Grit

Hard conversations

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I think I’d rather stick with my Olympic insights because those ARE FUN and this week as I’ve watched a few of the key races it has been exhilarating to watch the athletes shine. However, I just knew that I also had to get this one out there.

I am not sure about you, but hard conversations are never fun. But at the same time, they almost always create a step forward. I think it’s important that we all realize just how important these conversations are in healthy relationships. These, of course, span our personal lives, our community efforts and in the work place. In the past couple of months I have been engaged at some level with a few of these and I think it’s always worth sharing…

Our family had some tough conversations about a college change. Here’s the brief:

  1. A goal to move to a different college
  2. Concern from my son that we would not understand the whys and ultimately support the desire to make the change.
  3. Concern from both parents that our son was making the best decision for him. Not to mention the logistics, costs, etc.

So, what’s the big deal? The big deal is that these are big issues – potentially life-changing. My point is simple, even when you look at something objective, as in the three easy areas above, life is about conversation and sometimes, many times that generates a hard conversation.

The result of this conversation was that we had a family meeting to review the situation. Some pre-work was done on both sides in an attempt to create understanding. There were nerves going into the meeting and at the end of the day, it resolved well. (It was what at our office we call “healthy tension,” but everyone felt better at the conclusion.)

Key message: When we have the courage to tackle tough conversations, we can actually improve our relationships, create peace in our worlds and in my opinion move toward happiness in our lives. The alternative is not talking about the issues and living uncomfortably as everyone “guesses” what is really going on and peace is shattered.

I’ve had a few others…

My Mom wants to move to an assisted living community. It’s likely the best thing for her, so it seems like an easy decision. It’s not. It involves finances, concern of the impact of changes, etc.
At work there seems to always be an email misunderstanding; a conversation that raises your blood pressure… you get the point.

In all of these situations…
– Life is hard – Life can be easier if we approach “healthy tension” with courage and kindness, but it also takes work and preparations. Hard conversations almost always have a positive end result. Worst-case scenario, an attempt was made to get difficult issues out in the open and stirring in hearts and minds.

I’m confident you can think of one or two of these you need to have. Some ideas to get you thinking…

  • A conversation with a young child about how they sometimes “bend the truth” and the impact of that.
  • A conversation with a middle school child about the pressures they are about to face. Yes, middle school children are faced with all manner of moral challenges in today’s world.
  • A conversation with a friend who seems to be making wrong choices.
  • A conversation with a boss or team member who seems to constantly create disruption to your life.
  • My favorite:  A conversation you need to have with yourself!

As you work through this, my encouragement is that you do it and do it soon. Your relationships will be better because of it! BE BOLD! BE KIND! CARE DEEPLY!

The Amazing Race

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I’m not sure if you had the opportunity to watch the Opening Ceremoney of the summer Olympics on Friday, but it was crazy good.

Some of the beginning was a little confusing, but art IS in the eye of the beholder and I’m confident that was art! My favorite part is the countries walking in and being recognized. The meaning of that moment for them… the culmination of a dream and the anticipation of their race. (Also the pure FUN that is evident and the momentum building….)

I think we could all benefit from having a moment like that. Maybe a moment like that every day.

As we get ready for work, school or to go out and serve our community, what if we thought of the day as “pressing on” with the ultimate goal to use our God-given gifts in the best possible way. That is actually what we are doing, so why not live it out in that narrative.

This week let us all try this out. Start your days with an intentional thought of how today is the day you are pressing on… you are going to nail it… to serve your purpose well… BETTER THAN WELL…. GREAT!

I’m cheering you on!  Have an amazing race!

(Photo creds: We Heart It)

Lessons on the Playground: “Is that all you have?”

blog_808433_2923537_1466504974I am huge fan of all manner of swings. Tire swings, rope swings (especially the version where you jump into a lake), and even a good old playground swing!

This idea of not forgetting to “play” captured me, because while I try to inject fun into my life, there is something invigorating about just swinging, legs pumping and going as high as you can.  It’s symbolic of life. You start out needing to be pushed and then as you get a bit more comfortable you ask “push” me higher and then…it’s up to you, to pump and push to achieve your goal! The sky is the limit!

This weekend, my sister was telling me how they watched their neighbor’s boy for a few hours and took him to the playground. Since it wasn’t their child, and he was small, they didn’t want to push too hard… The young man was adamant, “IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE?… I want to go HIGHER!” That’s awesome! At 6 years old he was ready to “fly” and he was being held back due to both his readiness and of course they were holding him back.

What a great lesson for us all… We can either not be ready and God won’t allow us, OR, we simply have someone or something that’s holding us back.  After we discern which one, we can either learn, grow and prepare or decide to get a new “champion” or in this case a new person to “push us.”

Let’s get out to the playground this summer literally and figuratively and see how far we can go!

(Photo credit: Pinterest)

Simple Thoughts Sunday – Memorial Day

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Memorial Day is about honor.

As we kick off this week, focused on honoring those that have served our country and lost their lives in that service, I pray that we will all consider the impact this sacrifice has had on our lives. In America, we experience freedom of every possible type. This has come at a price. It will personally be a great joy to lift up to God my many thanks for this gift. My gift in return will be to not only live a life of excellence, but to inspire others to do the same.

Let’s make this week all about HONOR. One of my favorite discussion topics, because we need to keep it front and center.

Have an amazing long weekend to those who will experience that – I pray that you will be refreshed and in spirit of taking time to honor those God has placed in our paths.

(Photo credit: We Heart it)

‘Flippin sweet’ graduation advice!

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Every time I see a clip or see a reference to Napoleon Dynamite (circa 2004), I laugh. My boys were about 8 then, and that has to be one of the more fun ages. I, however, think no matter the age, this movie is ridiculously awesome because it is dumb beyond belief. See some out takes below! A bit of humor is good for the soul.

So in addition to the advice above – by the way do VOTE please, however I do have to say I’m glad this isn’t my first election to vote in – there are several “round ups” of the best commencement speeches and in those, some great advice. This list is my favorite after doing a bit of research. I have summarized below some key thoughts for those who don’t want to scroll through it all. Some sound words of wisdom for all of us!

  • Shonda Rhimes, 2014 – STOP DREAMING, START DOING
  • David Foster Wallace, 2005 – “Be less arrogant, and a little less certain about your beliefs.”
  • Robert Krulwich, 2011 – “People who stay at it, who stay stubborn, very often win.”
  • George Saunders, 2013 – Be KIND: “What I regret the most in my life are failures of kindness.”
  • Stephen Colbert, 2011 – Never feel like you have it all figured out.  (Can I get an amen from anyone else my age or above!)
  • Nora Ephron, 1996 – “It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess.  It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complication.”
  • Steve Jobs, 2005 – Live each day as if it were your last. “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your inner voice, and most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”
  • Kurt Vonnegut, 1999 – Make the world a better place by respecting humanity.
  • Atul Gawande, M.D., 2012 – “The difference between triumph and defeat, you’ll find, isn’t about willingness to take risks.  It’s about mastery of rescue.”  (Don’t be afraid to fail!)
  • JK Rowling, 2008 – “It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all-  In which case, you fail by default.”
  • Joss Whedon, 2013 – Embrace inner conflict- “It’s inevitable, and it never goes away.”
  • John F. Kennedy, 1963 – Strive for what may be the biggest goal of all of them:  WORLD PEACE.
  • Toni Morrison, 2004 – CREATE YOUR OWN NARRATIVE!  (Story)

Now a bit more humor:

(Photo credit: Pinterest)

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Changing the world

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Sometimes I wonder who “coins” a phrase a formal quote. After all, we all say things daily that likely are the words of someone whose thoughts we liked and added to our repertoire so to speak. Anyway, this particular quote is so strong and I have always loved it and shared it as often as it makes sense to do so.

As I considered what thoughts would I want to share with my neighbor and the other lovely folks I know who are graduating, this is what came to mind first. Regardless of if you are 18, 22 or a 49-year-old (congrats Deb!), these words hold much wisdom and inspiration.

So, here’s the question:

  • What part of the world do you feel needs changed?
  • Are you moved by social justice issues?
  • Are you moved by technology?
  • Freedom?

Now, take take that down a level and identify the issue that really stirs your soul…

  • Social Justice Issues?
  • Children going to school hungry?
  • Technology?
  • How will our children (or us) deal with face to face relationships with so much concentration on the use of technology?
  • Freedom?
  • Global issues in Israel/Palestine? Syria?
  • In our generation, does it make sense that we really have people that do not have a home or that have a wall separating them from their neighbors?

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How do we go about changing the world?

  • First make a decision that you aren’t just going to sit back and allow whatever it is that pulls your heart strings to happen on your watch.
  • Rally a small group (that can be one or ten…) and share your vision.
  • Put together a few steps you can take to start to take action!
  • Get going!

The only other key that I feel is important is that you can’t be concerned about your age.  There are so many great stories from young children (Gracie Schram… Right in our own community has done just that) to our wisest elders who made a decision to change the world and then did. Age isn’t a factor! Jump in EVEN IF you feel unprepared! Our world was built on the backs of those that did just that and NOW IT’S YOUR TURN!

BE BOLD!

(Photo credit: We Heart It)

REPOST: Why you need to deload this month

blog_785457_2884127_1459993077OK GANG, I only had a few folks have the time to read this on Tuesday, so I’m doing something I haven’t done before and REPOSTING. (Albeit with a different photo with the intent of grabbing your attention… I hope it worked!). This is seriously an IMPORTANT topic so I hope you will take the time and I truly hope you’ll love it! 

I am really excited about this “deloading” idea.

I only recently became familiar with the term as it relates to physical training. If you are wondering what it means, it is pretty much how it sounds: A short planned period of RECOVERY! The idea is to take your training a bit lighter, and ease up on your body. In this category it lasts about a week. So, this idea of “RECOVERY” is sounding pretty good right now! Anybody with me?

Why do it? So we can become our best! Seriously, if anyone runs at a reasonably fast pace, you know that you can only do it for so long before you realize you really are not playing at your best every single day. At some point if you don’t stop and “deload,” your body (or mind) will give you a gentle nudge (or maybe not so gently), and you will find yourself crying uncle.

We can do this in a number of ways. Tim Ferriss, the author of the famous, “4-Hour Workweek” shared some insights in his blog on Friday. If you don’t want to take the time to follow the link, I have summed up some of the ideas I loved:

  1. YOU MUST SCHEDULE AND DEFEND YOUR DELOADING PHASE! DEFEND! I LOVE THAT!
  2. You need room to ask “WHAT IF” without a conference call scheduled in 15 minutes.
  3. You must create large blocks of interrupted time….CREATE being the key word!

My favorite idea is his ultimate form of deloading, which is to play hard for two months, bringing your best game to all aspects of your life, and then to deload for a full month. I truly believe I could “up my game” if I was able to do that. Since my leader probably wouldn’t go for the idea – nor would my other obligations for that matter – here are some other thoughts:

  • Screen-free Saturdays
  • Allotted journaling time for the purposes of creative expression – minimum one hour block, daily
  • Wednesday afternoon writing/brainstorming/thinking time – minimum two hour block

You get the idea… I seriously need to “deload” this month and I hope this resonates with you as well! If you are in KC, I hope you take up a Royals game while you are at it!

(Photo credit: KC Star – kansascity.com, via Pinterest)

Why you need to ‘deload’ this month

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As I shared on my “Simple Thoughts Sunday” post, I am really excited about this “deloading” idea.

I only recently became familiar with the term as it relates to physical training. If you are wondering what it means, it is pretty much how it sounds: A short planned period of RECOVERY! The idea is to take your training a bit lighter, and ease up on your body. In this category it lasts about a week. So, this idea of “RECOVERY” is sounding pretty good right now! Anybody with me?

Why do it? So we can become our best! Seriously, if anyone runs at a reasonably fast pace, you know that you can only do it for so long before you realize you really are not playing at your best every single day. At some point if you don’t stop and “deload,” your body (or mind) will give you a gentle nudge (or maybe not so gently), and you will find yourself crying uncle.

We can do this in a number of ways. Tim Ferriss, the author of the famous, “4-Hour Workweek” shared some insights in his blog on Friday. If you don’t want to take the time to follow the link, I have summed up some of the ideas I loved:

  1. YOU MUST SCHEDULE AND DEFEND YOUR DELOADING PHASE! DEFEND! I LOVE THAT!
  2. You need room to ask “WHAT IF” without a conference call scheduled in 15 minutes.
  3. You must create large blocks of interrupted time….CREATE being the key word!

My favorite idea is his ultimate form of deloading, which is to play hard for two months, bringing your best game to all aspects of your life, and then to deload for a full month. I truly believe I could “up my game” if I was able to do that. Since my leader probably wouldn’t go for the idea – nor would my other obligations for that matter – here are some other thoughts:

  1. Screen-free Saturdays
  2. Allotted journaling time for the purposes of creative expression – minimum one hour block, daily
  3. Wednesday afternoon writing/brainstorming/thinking time – minimum two hour block

You get the idea… I seriously need to “deload” this month and I hope this resonates with you as well! If you are in KC, I hope you take up a Royals game while you are at it!

(Photo credit: My trusty iPhone at the Overland Park Arboretum on Sunday, April 3. Love these three sunbathing turtles! They are “deloading” I’m sure!) 

March Madness: Your billion dollar idea

blog_780532_2877683_1458796403One of my boys and I were “googling” last week what NCAA Men’s Basketball is worth and who even thought of the idea in the first place? (By the way, the advertising alone is worth $11 billion according to Business Insider.)

Was it a random idea, or well-planned out like an entrepreneur striving to see their dream come true? Well, the truth is it seems to have two potential starts… One from a high school basketball tournament in a small Illinois town where a Henry V. Porter coined the term “March madness” in the 1939 Illinois Scholastic (details from the IHSA). Also in 1939, the term started (or spread?) to college when Coach Harold Olsen of Ohio State University brought it to the National Association of Basketball Coaches.  A few years later, in 1984, Bob Walsh of the Seattle Organizing Committee is credited with starting the March Madness Celebration, according to Mashable.

As with many “good ideas” and with the “American Way” fully behind it, it was a good idea built on to another good idea, and eventually evolving today to what is WAY MORE THAN A BILLION DOLLAR IDEA.

The truth is that even though this picture states that “I love this game,” I truly only love it during the March Madness run each Spring. Who doesn’t thrive on a bit of friendly competition and a distraction from the everyday? The excitement of others watching their favorite teams is contagious and, no matter how silly to some, I love the environment to jump on the “bandwagon” so to speak. So, while I don’t love the game “per se,” I love the fun and excitement that comes from it!

Our theme this week is IDEAS. I’m leaving you with this thought today: What idea do you already have or have you possibly heard that you think just may become great with a little “pizazz” – AKA, your personal spin – added to it? Give it some more thought if it “stirs” you… It may just be the next BILLION DOLLAR IDEA – or make that an $11 billion idea.

(Photo Creds:  Pinterest, courtesy of Zazzle)

3 Ideas to get your thoughts rolling

blog_777233_2871883_1458009812Building starts with a a great plan. A blueprint for something new, that the world hasn’t experienced before. Whether a home or the life of your child, it’s a strong plan that makes the finished product beautiful. True, sometimes, things “just happen” and it works out pretty good, like a new recipe, but good cooks (and even semi-okay ones like me…on a good day) will tell you that following a good recipe almost ensures success.

We all want to build something significant. Usually that is a significant life to start with. How do we do that? Here are three simple thoughts to get you started today!

  1. Wise counselors – In the first place, we need solid mentors, teachers and advisors to help build the plan. If you are building a house, seeking out an experienced architect and a reputable builder, is critical. It helps to find folks who have been around the block a few times and can speak with wisdom. It also helps to find those that care about you and want your success. Sometimes this can be harder than you think for some reason, but definitely seek people out. We need each other desperately.
  2. Invest your time and your mind – This one I think is huge. We all say we want to do something meaningful- make our communities better, etc, but don’t take the time to read, study, understand and truly make decisions and plans that helps us to do that. This pre-election period has been a great reminder of what happens when we don’t invest our time and become educated on critical topics…
  3. Take action – Don’t wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow is never promised, at least our on earth tomorrow. We can accomplish so much if we take the full span of time we are given and ACTIVATE those IDEAS that are rolling around in our minds. Today is THE PERFECT DAY TO START!

(Photo Creds – Pinterest: The Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts)