To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Grit

Yes, we can develop GRIT! 4 ways to move forward!

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

I just wrapped up reading the bestseller, “GRIT, The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth. It will definitely be on the top of my reading list for this quarter.

I got almost through it, and thankfully there was an entire section at the end devoted to “Growing grit from the outside in.” As I poured through the book, I was hoping it did not say that if you or your kids did not have this critical life skill that you were out of luck. There are plenty of character qualities that are innate, and that are hard to develop if you don’t have them. (At least that’s what they taught me in behavioral management training. Judgment by the way is one of those…)

The great news is that WE CAN DEVELOP GRIT. Whew!

“First and foremost, there’s no either/or trade-off between supportive parenting and demanding parenting. It’s a common misunderstanding to think of “tough love” as a carefully struck balance between affection and respect on the one hand, and firmly enforced expectations on the other. In actuality, there’s no reason you can’t do both,” Duckworth writes.

As a parent of 20-year-old boys, I can say that this is more than true in my experience. Having said that, I think my personality was a little too “supportive.” Of course I demanded respect, and still do, but firmly enforcing doesn’t sound much like my house, which isn’t really a good thing.

Thankfully this blog isn’t about me, but I do feel it’s important to be authentic. My boys are amazing, but perhaps I could do more to impress the critical importance of GRIT. So, what I thought was really cool in this book, was a little segment on “Doing Hard Things.” I did at one time write a blog on this, but a different focus to the concept. Here’s what I found valuable that I hope you get something out of, too:

The author’s family employed a three-part “Hard Thing Rule.”

  1. Everyone, including mom and dad, has to do a hard thing. A hard thing is defined by something that required deliberate practice. (Her example as a mom was that she studies psychological research, but also that she is trying to employ a yoga practice.)
  2. You can quit, but you CAN’T quit until the season is over. Listen up, that means high school and college kids should be “grittier” when it comes to sticking with classes. The hard classes that we all want to relieve ourselves of… YOU MUST FINISH WHAT YOU BEGIN.
  3. YOU GET to pick your hard thing. Nobody picks it for you. Mom and dad, you can’t decide your 10 year old should be a piano player. She really does a nice job of explaining that her kids cycled though dozens of interests to get to something they enjoyed.

They had a fourth added after their children got to a mature age… this was…

4. Must commit to at least one activity, either something new or something they’ve started. In other words, you cannot just decide you aren’t going to actively be practicing something. Think of the natural tendency to stop sports after graduation.

I like this “hard thing” concept and am thinking through how we might approach the idea in our family. Heck, I think all of us can do this. What I really like is that as you get older, you have to push each other to exercise, to stay strong, to sharpen your mind, etc., and that my friends is GRIT. We need to keep growing it at all ages in order to live out our lives of purpose.

If you are a reader, pick up this one. It is truly a game changer.

Simple thoughts Sunday: We can’t do it alone

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

Many of you might know that Exodus is at the front of the Bible. I truly love the lessons I have learned by focusing on Old Testament wisdom over the last several years. It is clear that God knew right up front that we needed some solid advice on how to navigate life. This particular bit of advice is a key message that I can use over and over again. I hope you hear the message speaking directly to you, because I know for sure that many – if not most of us – don’t do this well.

I don’t know what “it” is for you, but I do know that regardless of whether it’s the simple act of getting through the day – sailing a proverbial boat – or a large project like getting out of debt or starting a new business… we are not supposed to get through it alone. We are meant to be a community, bringing others alongside us to accomplish our purpose.

I hope that this week you will put down the phone and think through what areas of your life you might need to delegate with the help of your community at school, work and home to be BETTER than you could be on your own.

Side note: As a mom, I hope all of you parents don’t hesitate to field some work to the kids… They need it… (note the “tough love” language in the verse). Tuesday we talk about developing “grit” in our homes and this is a good step.

Guest blog: The art of self care

​​The following blog post is from my friend and blog helper, Ashley, who is an education reporter in St. Louis. (Photo credit: Pexels)​​

I’m an outgoing introvert. Weird, right?

There is such a stigma around introversion that makes people think you’re bound to be a cat lady — or dog lady, in my case — who has a DVR packed with shows and no friends to go grab a bite with.

Au contraire. I have a dog, no television and I spend plenty of time with my pals.

But being an introvert, or someone who needs to recharge while being by myself, means I keep a pretty tight leash on my calendar, like Lori talked about in Tuesday’s post. In fact, it’s safe to say I’m a little obsessive about my priorities.

It’s not because I’m stingy with my time. It’s so I can share the best version of myself with each of the people I spend time with, whether it’s a source I’m grabbing mid-morning coffee with, a friend during happy hour or a grocery trip with grandma.

Covet your calendar. And schedule time for yourself each day.

Do you have a routine in place that gives you some time to reflect or recharge? Even extroverts need that. For me, it’s my hour or so at the gym each morning. For some it’s a long walk. A trip to Starbucks.

Here are a few suggestions for recharging that you can hopefully supplement with Lori’s point this week about taking control of your calendar for your best yes:

  • Meditate: So many of my friends are raving about the Headspace app that I’m tempted to buy it. There’s a free option that I tried a while back during a time when I didn’t let the value soak in. Headspace is a 10 minute per day guided meditation via an app. One of my friends uses the last bit of his lunch break each day to get his 10 minutes in before giving his attention back to the world. He swears by it.
  • Practice gratitude: Yogis, whom I respect, are big into gratitude. Heck, it’s part of some eastern religions, too. We could all get better at this. During your next drive, I challenge you to give it a shot, but focus inward. Turn the music down. Think about the things you did this week that you’re rightfully proud about. Let the feeling of productivity and gratitude for your own strength wash over you. I’ll try this, too.

Here’s a list of more ideas from a blog site, PopSugar, about self care. Read up and enjoy.​​

Getting to the BEST YES

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

My friend and I were strolling through a string of boutiques and this shirt immediately grabbed my attention. It’s a hoot. It seemed that everyone that saw it got a good chuckle. (I’m not sure how many they’ve sold because, afterall, who has the guts to actually wear the shirt. I’m trying to get mine up the level where I will.)

It’s funny because it is sooo true. It seems all of us say “YES” to too many events that, at least initially, had the promise of being something we just had to attend. When the time comes, we are struggling to answer the question of why we said we’d go in the first place. I mean wouldn’t it be better to stay in… you’ve had a long week, and heck, it’s only 26 degrees outside. Maybe yes… maybe no…

A couple of years ago, author Lysa TerKeurst, wrote a nice little read on the topic of the “BEST YES.” The book offers insight into why we say yes in the first place and also how to rethink our decisions so we can get to the VERY BEST YES for ourselves at any given season of our life. She deals with the fear we have of not achieving what we need/want if we stop attending every networking event, etc. – and much more. It’s terrific and you should grab it if it’s interesting to you at all.

This is a short post today, but I want to say that for us to truly get to where we are living our purpose and serving at our highest level, we HAVE TO get to the BEST YES. That means, not attending that party, shower, happy hour… every single time.

It means looking at our priorities and ensuring our calendar is lined up with whatever we need to do to achieve our purpose. I only wish it were that easy. Perhaps we can cheer each other on to ensure everyone is truly choosing their BEST YES. We will all be better for it! No judgement! 🙂 Have a great week.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Black History Month – Why we must continue to educate ourselves

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

I loved this photo because it depicts a diverse and loving community of students. Students who don’t know yet the meaning of “minorities,” nor the impact race, religion or sex have had on the lives of their families and friends.

While, I love that idea, I also acknowledge that we must continue to educate ourselves and future generations on what America’s history looks like, so that we can be sure to learn from the best stories and those that don’t reflect our most shining moments.

This Proverb spoke to the idea of seeking wisdom. I hope all of you would say that wisdom is not only worth finding, but needed now more than ever in our lifetime!

So, on this first Sunday of Black History Month 2017, I hope you prioritize becoming more educated on America’s past and how it relates to us today. Our nation would certainly not be as great as it is today without the diversity and strength of this great community. As we struggle as a country to unify around all manner of issues, let this be a month of gaining the wisdom required to help us reach the next level.

I’m all in.

Some side notes:

In preparing for this blog, I found out some cool facts about African American leaders I didn’t know yet, which reminded of how little I know…

  • Madam C.J. Walker was America’s first self-made woman to become a millionaire. She was considered an entreprenuer and a philanthropist in her time (1867-1919). Isn’t that awesome?! Her product was beauty and hair products… some things never change for us women.
  • Thurgood Marshall was the first African American man appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court in 1967. He served for 24 years and was appointed by President Lyndon B. Johnson. Please note that in 1967, our country was still divided over Civil Rights issues. Bold move by the president and AMAZING COURAGE by the Honorable Thurgood Marshall.
  • In 1992, Dr. Mae Jamison became the first African American woman to go into space aboard the space shuttle Endeavor. Not only that, but she is a professor, dancer, actress and holds nine honorary doctorates in science, engineering, letters and the humanities. Can you say POWERFUL?

(Side note: If you haven’t yet made it to see “Hidden Figures” one of the Oscar favorites, you should! The amazing, unheard story of the brilliant African American women who played a key role in NASA for many years. It is a must see for students of all ages.)

Some major, fun lessons you and your family may want to sharpen your minds around this month:

  • The Underground Railroad, a secret network of routes and safe houses used by African American slaves to escape into the free states.
  • Rosa Parks’ story, as well as the many women who lead the Civil Rights movement. Much to my surprise, there are several Rosas – she’s just the one most of us know!
  • Inoculatin (Vaccinations) were introduced to America by a slave named Onesimus.
  • The diverse history of Historically Black Colleges and Universities. Very cool story, and there are two state-funded HBCUs in Missouri! One in Jefferson City and anther in St. Louis. There used to be a private, religious HBCU in Kansas – Western University – but it stopped operating in the 1940s.
  • One in four cowboys was black… In fact it is believed that the real “Lone Ranger” was inspired by an African American man named Bass Reeves.

Have fun learning. Share your stories if you learn something interesting… I’m sure we will all love it!

Game day jitters = “I can handle it”

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

Game day jitters. We all have them, whether we are in the big game on the field, or the game of life. A test, a meeting with the boss, meeting someone new… knocking one off of the bucket list… AKA sky diving, or traveling globally for the first time. Game day jitters happen to us all. This year, one of the leaders I listen to, Steven Furtick, talks about his mantra, “I can handle this.” You can find it on his podcast via iTunes, or YouTube.

I normally don’t have Christian references in my weekly posts, but this one is really good and shouldn’t be missed. If you don’t want to use the Christian references, replace it with something you are comfortable with – I promise it’s worth your time to copy and paste this and put it front and center in your life. (It is better on video, or just to listen to it via iTunes… but the words are solid.) Here it goes:

“Today is a new day.

It will bring brand new blessings and brand new battles.

But within every uncertainty there is a hidden possibility.

So I don’t dread any challenge that lies ahead

Because I remember all the victories behind.

And my confidence is not in my circumstance.

The spirit of God is my supply.

I’m steady under pressure and I’m ready for whatever… ’cause whatever comes my way today, the outcome is “I overcome.”

Christ is in me, I am enough.

I can handle it.

I can’t afford to stay afraid or let my faith hesitate.

My purpose is at stake and he who called me is faithful.

His strength in me is greater than any pain I feel or enemy I face.

The promise of God is mine for the taking.

Every plan He has made is guaranteed to come to pass.

It will happen.

If I don’t back down, if I won’t let go, it will happen.

If I don’t stop short, if I won’t sell out, it will happen by faith.

But faith doesn’t take the fear away, it teaches me to fight it.

So bring the battle, I’m ready now.

I got something for Goliath.

I can handle it.

My power flows from presence so I won’t stay stuck in what was, or worry about what will be.

My regrets have been redeemed

And my tests have becomes my lessons

My focus is is fixed and my hear expectant

I’m set, I’m not nervous about what’s next.

‘Cause my eyes are on the throne

I trust the one who’s in complete control

The one who already knows how He’s gonna work it according to his purpose.

Even the worst situations are sure to turn in my favor, If I keep moving forward, keep moving toward Him.

God is with me in this moment, and whatever happens…

I can handle it.”

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Isn’t that awesome? Game day jitters impact us. Make us lose sleep, lose our peace and can distract us from our best. If we maintain our focus, prepare at the highest level, realize that we have support through the fan club of our family and friends… We can achieve a great game… not just today’s game, but every game we step in to.

What inspires you?

(Photo Creds: My own from Tuesday’s flight to Detroit. Cool, huh?)

Where people find inspiration fascinates me.

To me, inspiration incites joy. What moments make you smile and give you a dose of hope and excitement about our world? As I get older, the “small” moments for sure inspire me.

The street performer sharing their talents with the community, a giggling child and yep, even looking out the window of a plane, mesmerized by the beauty and complexity of our world.

Let’s keep dreaming here a bit… what else inspires? I would add “brilliant minds” to this list. Do you ever pick up a book, watch a movie or even engage with a great teacher or a colleague at work and just feel amazed with their ability to bring together insights that take you to the next level? I just love that.

I saw a movie preview for the upcoming film, “A Dog’s Purpose,” and I was moved immediately. The concept of the film is brilliant. Check it out – it’s great!

Finally, I would add to the list “simple kindness.” I know there is a lot of it out there, but honestly, I’d like to see it more… like everyday if possible. There is a warmth that comes from the simple act of someone going out of their way to open a door or send a message of encouragement. It’s what makes the days rich and the years more so.

As January brings us more cloudy days, perhaps we can all approach this one with an extra intention? That is serving well… both ourselves and the recipients!

What inspires you? I know the readers would love to hear from you!

Have an amazing weekend.

Simple Thoughts Sunday – God, teach me to own the state of my soul!

(Photo Creds: Steven Furtick, Instagram)

WOW! I read this during the week and knew I had to share it here. Here’s the full post:

“The fact that it happened TO me doesn’t make it a part OF me. Just because it came to pass doesn’t mean it gets to stay. Just because it knocks doesn’t mean I answer. And just because it afflicted me doesn’t mean it crippled me. God, teach me to OWN the STATE of my SOUL.”

Seriously, who else thinks that is BRILLIANT? SOOOO good!

As you kick off this third week of January, my prayer will be that we reflect on this statement, and learn from it. God knows we get hit from all directions, financial, personal, etc. It doesn’t even have to be bad necessarily, just real life, like needing new tires or a comment that was made that may be bad… but it may have been nothing at all, just our mind on overdrive. If we can truly give it to God, he will soothe our souls. I believe that.

Tomorrow is the celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr. He is one of my personal heroes. His bravery and courage to tackle the big issues is truly incredible. I’ll write a bit about him and his work on Tuesday, but since I focus on faith issues on Sundays, I wanted to ask that you will pray with me that God raises up the Martin Luther King Jrs. around us today. We need more voices that are positive and inspire needed change in our country.

Make it an awesome week.

Revisiting a post from last January – Consider a Comeback

 

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many consider Lincoln the greatest president in American history. He led the country through its greatest moral and military crisis, essentially saved the country from destruction and directed it toward restoration. Lincoln grew up in meager circumstances, failed at business twice and had what most would call a nervous breakdown. He lost when he ran for Congress, lost twice when he ran for the Senate and lost as a vice presidential candidate. Lincoln was then elected the 16th president of the United States, led the country to reconciliation and won re-election. (Information from the good ole’ Internet – word for word.)

Everyone loves a COMEBACK. Kansas City Royals fans are familiar with comebacks, as our team won the 2015 World Series after losing the 2014 Fall Classic in a heartbreaking game 7. This week, as we are on the topic of “considering” I thought I would share a personal comeback in hopes that it will resonate at some level. Here we go…

To be honest, my personal comeback probably doesn’t fit the dictionary definition of a “comeback,” but to me the word describes my story perfectly. So here it is… Nearly three years ago (now four). I left my career of leading what is considered by many (and for sure me!) Kansas City’s premier medical practice. Leaving was SO HARD, but I felt called to join Humana, which is where I am today. (I’d be happy to share offline the details of that with anyone who wants to hear it,) Just know that it was definitely a calling, or else I wouldn’t have considered leaving. The people I worked with and the mission we served was AMAZING.

Since I felt that I was supposed to be in this new role I had this crazy expectation (That may very well become a new blog post… rereading this brings forth the idea of how do we even get these “crazy expectations,” and how can we temper or address them) that the experience was going to immediately be incredible. I was going to pop in and get to work, add value to the company and grow professionally. I was seriously shocked that it didn’t play out that way at first. It felt like I landed in an unfamiliar city, half-way around the world, without knowing the language, the landmarks, or really anything that I could understand, let alone contribute to- As you all probably know by now, it is REALLY important for us all to feel that we are doing meaningful work, contributing at our highest level!

I struggled and learned, navigated new waters and created some new pathways. The experience was one I wasn’t familiar in my career, and one that I am not sure I want to experience again. At almost the two year mark (note: patience is not my greatest strength) the path finally became more clear. (update: I still don’t have a good amount of patience and the path is clear on most days…) I had a new leader which was a key factor, but more importantly I was finally contributing and bringing value to the team and company at a level I was comfortable with. To me, this was a MAJOR comeback.

One important part of this story is that I stuck it out. I’m still sticking it out. When you know you are supposed to be somewhere, whether it’s a relationship, a career, a healthy living path, or anything else it is important to be obedient and stick with it, but most importantly, to MAKE the COMEBACK that helps you get to where you feel you are MAKING A DIFFERENCE.

COMEBACKS are IMPORTANT. Do you have a comeback story? Maybe you are in the middle of one? It’s HARD, but the HUMILITY factor grows, and that my friends, is a critical character quality to hone!

Solving pain points by generating ideas

(Photo Creds: We Heart it)

“We all have, let’s say, two or three dozen massive pain points in our lives that everyone can relate to. I try to basically write about those, and then I try to write about how I attempted to recover from them.”  James Altucher, quoted in Tim Ferris’ new book ‘Tools of Titans,’ which I highly recommend.

James is a hedgefund manager, entrepreneur and best selling author. I agree with this statement, but hesitate to think I have an even two dozen pain points to deal with, unless you count my lack of patience waiting for the elevator. At any rate, he may be overly stressed or just counting his “elevator” issues. Regardless, I found this section in Tim’s new book compelling. The one liner that caught my attention:

“James made his specialty exploring his own pain and fear.” (By generating ideas.)

Essentially, “what if” we walk straight into those issues and ask some really good questions to get us to the other side… James recommends WRITING DOWN 10 IDEAS EACH DAY for the sake of focusing your brain on generating a creative thinking habit. If you get in the routine and then are confronted with one of those pain points – think that ONE person at work, school, etc that just is beyond your comprehension – you will be able to more efficiently work through the issue because this “brain/creative muscle” has developed.

I have identified below some of his sample “lists” which I think some are just fun. I’m going to try this exercise and I’d love to hear about it if you do!

Sample Lists:

  • 10 ridiculous things I would invent
  • 10 books I could write
  • 10 things I disagree with that everyone else assumes is religion
  • 10 people I want to be friends with
  • 10 things I learned yesterday
  • 10 ways I can save time
  • 10 things I was interested in as a kid that might be fun to explore now (hello, teeter tot and tether ball)

I think I’ll start with….

10 ways I could serve better this year! How fun would it be if you each sent me 10 blog ideas? I’d so love that!

Happy Tuesday everyone!