To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

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Happy Thanksgiving! I am grateful for each of you!

The history of Thanksgiving reminds us that taking time to celebrate the “harvest” is an important part of our country’s history. The idea that for generations we have maintained  integrity around “gathering” and offering thanks is powerful and necessary.

The first Thanksgiving in Plymouth, MA (1621) was a time for neighbors and family to “gather around the table” with those that had provided the bounty through hard work. Today, the Thanksgiving holiday provides us the same opportunity to carve out time to “break bread,” share our stories and offer thanks.

No matter what you find yourself doing over this holiday, my prayer is that you will take the time to acknowledge those that have provided blessings to your life over the last year. I also hope that you will be able to take some time to breathe deeply and celebrate your own success (or survival, as may be the case) so far in 2018. This pause just might offer you what you need for the strongest finish to the year.

Cheers to all of you, your family, friends and loved ones. My goal every time I write is that it might impact at least one person.

It is an honor that you take the time to read these little insights and I am beyond grateful for the gift of your time.

Unexpected Gifts, Part 2 – Taking count & giving thanks

So, the entire idea of “Unexpected Gifts” I mentioned Tuesday has me on a path to identify and take account of those that I have experienced this year. I hope you will find some value in the idea that no matter what a possible “shit show” you think your life can be in some seasons, there are quite literally gifts at every turn.  (okay, so that was a strong word, but the point is that in the midst of even the toughest times, crazy blessings show up if you are paying attention.)

I really don’t want to overuse examples of my life, but I think it may be useful as a thought starter for you all.

January-March: At that point I had a growing consultancy business. It was a time in my life where I felt God had me in a holding pattern. Although I was completely unclear about where I was headed, I was constantly sent not only encouraging people, but clients that needed my service. Most of these I had never met and all came at the perfect timing. (Also, I turned 50… I think that is a gift of some sort of new stage of wisdom, right? So far, it’s a lot of extra time on the treadmill to keep up. Haha)

April-June: Our family was faced with what many of my friends are facing right now… The impact of aging parents and a health crisis. My mother suffered multiple seizures and all of a sudden our world as we knew it stopped so that we could attend to the situation. So many unexpected gifts here, including a renewed focus on how precious these years are, to quality time with relatives that we don’t normally get to connect with as much. What a powerful reminder that my world is filled with dear friends from all parts of my life that stood ready in whatever way was needed, to a deeper realization of the vast needs in our health care system. Since health care is my career, this opened up my eyes to see the incredible opportunities for improvement we have to address from the patient side. (Also, without my consultant business, getting away for a lengthy time period would have added way more stress – another gift).

Also during this time, I was recruited to lead Partners in Primary Care (senior-focused primary care clinics) and Transcend MSO for the Kansas City Community. The picture is a small part of our team. These people quite simply blow me away with their commitment to our community’s seniors and really to one another. The clinics have only been in KC for a year in October and these people are family as if they’ve worked together for years. That is a far reaching gift that will impact their lives and all around them in their homes and those these serve.

July-September: God placed some pretty incredible new friends in my life this summer. I will absolutely never get over how we are given what we need at the perfect time. These people have gotten me out of the house, and have shined a new light on the incredible importance of a tribe.  I am certain I have not seen a group love each other so well.

So, those are a few thoughts. I have at least 10 more significant examples and I think you will too if you take the time to really audit these unexpected gifts.

Have the best weekend leading up to our week of thanks with family and friends.

Iron sharpens iron

(Rewind! This post is throwing it back to an oldie, but a goodie, because you can never be grateful enough for the people you get to share this life with.)

I can’t imagine my life without those around me who sharpen me. It is one of the lessons I try to impart upon my boys, although, I know it is different for boys. They don’t naturally share with one another like girls do, but it is just as important for them. God designed us this way.

Today, I thought it would be a great time to just sit down and make a list of those that have sharpened me and when possible send them a quick thanks…

To the teacher that invested in my life, drawing out a young girl, inspiring, pushing gently, pulling at times, but always encouraging, thank you!

To my sister who was and is the one who has the hard conversations and who also celebrates life’s important moments with us, thank you!

To the gals in my personal tribe, friends from many groups… WOW… I am far better because of all of you, thank you!

To my mentors or mentees… I have learned an equal amount from each of them, thank you!

To my boys who have always pushed me to be the best version of myself from early morning feedings, to late night talks about college life. (I won’t give up on the whole “boys need to be in community too” part!) Thank you, boys!

Who has “sharpened” you, raised the bar, elevated your “game”? I bet they’d love to hear from you this week!

Stumbling upward… Going beyond the easy button in the diversity conversation

I like to tackle tough conversations. I always hesitate a bit to throw it out on the blog, but I need to be more brave.

There is a literal jewel of a book that just came out recently, “How Good People Fight Bias – The Person YOU Mean to Be,” by Dolly Chugh. It’s probably the most powerful book I’ve read on the topic, taking on the ideas that stir in many of us in a fresh way. The concept of “stumbling upward” in the pages made me want to spend the rest of my days doing just that: striving to be better in all aspects of my life. In this particular topic of understanding tolerance and diversity, I am certain I can grow meaningfully.

In the book, Chugh tells the story of two well-meaning business guys, “Fitz and Zach” who brought the “Unconference” idea to Chicago. The idea of the “Unconference” is to bring together a network of people with agendas created on the spot, generating much energy and innovation. The organizers are responsible for the who, when and where of the event. These two guys, started with their own network, initially 118 people and only 14 women – most men being white. When called out on by the audience, they both were quite embarrassed. They didn’t realize that their networks, unintentionally, had become a bunch of people that looked like them. It was a true “bro-fest,” as the book refers to it. Once their awareness was made clear, they were able to correct their ways and begin developing networks that broadened their homogeneous network.

“They asked people to nominate people “more amazing than you.” One time, they asked people to nominate “women and minorities.” Another time, they asked participants to nominate people “who don’t look like you, if you usually are in the majority.” No method was perfect, but every attempt was a stumble upward.”

By 2017 their events had equal numbers of men and women and diversity was evident. Chugh introduces concepts that we all need to be aware of, including ordinary privilege, willful awareness and others. These topics are important. We all need to be more aware, like “Fitz and Zach.” What would your event look like if you hosted one? We need to understand the issues, and can do so by reading books such as this, attending events, expanding our networks and conversations. If we want to serve well for both our generation and those that follow, we should consider this a critical learning opportunity. I’m in.

So, you thought you had a bad day

I don’t know when I have ever laughed so hard as when my friend sent me this…  She actually sent it after she shared the details with me about a horrific day she had. It involved all manner of crazy, including disagreements with several people, a tantrum with a family member (possibly the kind you may be married to…), the dogs getting out, dropping the groceries, etc. It ended at the end of a long day with sitting on the toilet before bed, and it literally shattering with water spraying all over the house… NOW, THAT IS A BAD DAY!

Have you ever felt like it couldn’t get any worse? Let this short story be a reminder that it could. Sometimes we have to literally just laugh at the pure out crazy. I know this time of year can make us all feel nuts. I mean, weren’t we just sitting with our toes in the sand a week ago? All of a sudden – and in a whirlwind – we have a million responsibilities, commitments and people counting on us. It can cause a fuse to blow, internally and externally.

Today and this week, make a decision to take a deep breath and try to smile through the chaos. Listen to some music or watch your favorite comedy to lighten the mood. Let’s not let crazy get the best of us!

How do you win the war?

What a great question. I mean, who really wants to go to war anyway? The truth is that we all go to battle many days of our lives. The battles on the ground to bring value to our workplace, to our community and to our families.

I did a little research on a well-known, French military leader, Napoleon Bonaparte, who led several campaigns. Here is my absolute favorite quote I could find about him (for the record, I believe that this behavior is the absolute reason he won most battles…):

“Bonaparte would generally rise up sweaty, dirty and covered in gunpowder.”

Here’s what I love: He was in the mud with his team. He wasn’t hiding in an office or in a meeting. He was there, shirt sleeves rolled up, in the mix. That’s huge in my experience.

“He also made an effort to remember his soldiers’ names and visited their campfires before battle, chatting with them about home and expressing confidence that they would triumph over the enemy.”

Here’s what I love: Goodness, why is this so hard for some leaders? We have to know the people around us – their names for sure and hopefully something important to them (their family, their pets, their hobby, their experiences). In addition to the whole “know their names” behavior, he expressed confidence in his team. Every single person I know needs encouragement and needs to know that their leader believes in them. EVERY SINGLE PERSON.

In Bonaparte’s army, soldiers that came from humble backgrounds could rise through the ranks to be leaders, as Bonaparte himself had done. (Taken from Francesca Gino’s ‘Rebel Talent’)

Here’s what I love: The background here is that in that time, only the elite were able to be promoted. Not on Bonaparte’s team… Politics were not in his playbook, but rewarding grit was. That, in my opinion, is spot-on good leadership!

So for today, let’s win the battles with a lot of love and a focus on service and honor to the people within our ranks. Let us be like Bonaparte and work alongside our teams for the best results. That, my friends, is true service!

Lessons from the longest living people in the world… A summary of the world’s Blue Zones

You’d think with it being summer and all, I’d be reading more than ever. Well, as I shared in last week’s blog, I have been saying “yes” a lot more, which equates to not as much time to read.  I’ll get to a good balance soon. In the meantime, I finished up the Blue Zones book by Dan Buettner tonight, and it was amazing as I expected. It’s been on my list for too long.

In case you are unfamiliar, The Blue Zones is a term coined scientists coined for the areas of the world with the largest concentration of the longest-lived people. (Specifically while mapping one of the regions on the island of Sardinia. Shout out to my Italian readers and their beautiful country!) As the cover says, this book is a “must read if you want to stay young!”

Most of the lessons aren’t surprising, but it is inspiring to hear the stories of the lives of those thriving in these amazing communities. The areas can be found in small villages in Sardinia (Italy), Okinawa (Japan), Loma Linda (California), Nikoya (Costa Rica) and Ikaria (Greece). I summed up the primary lessons below, but as the picture in this blog states, having a purpose is what I feel stood out the most. That purpose is putting you square in the middle of a community of friends, family and faith that lift you into a world with less stress than most of us ever see, and a clear sense of joy and love. I hope all of that for each of you. For me, I need to do some research on how to retire to one of these beautiful places!

Lesson 1: MOVE NATURALLY. Engage in regular, low-intensity physical activity. If you are older, combine balance exercises, get on the ground and get up often, and practice staying limber and flexible. (Most of these people regularly sit on a floor (not from a recliner or bed) and get up several times a day, so they stay on the move.)

Lesson 2: HARA HACHI BU. For Okinawans, this is a phrase they say often while eating to remind themselves to stop eating when they are 80 percent full. Love the simplicity of implementing this.

Lesson 3: PLANT SLANT. Avoid processed foods and meat. In all of these areas, they are not in the habit of eating meat or fish on a regular basis, and they pretty much do not eat any processed foods. It’s all about eating off of the earth.

Lesson 4: GRAPES OF LIFE. Drink red wine, in moderation. I have lots of friends who love this one – me too! The true strategy here is take it easy with 1-2 glasses per day. When we drink any more than that, the negative consequences outweigh the health benefits.

Lesson 5: PURPOSE NOW. Take time to see the big picture. See the notes on Ikigai above.

Lesson 6: DOWNSHIFT. Taking time to relieve stress is of the highest importance, including reducing noise, napping and meditating… All things we know and don’t engage in enough.

Lesson 7: BELONG. Participate in a spiritual community. In every one of these areas there is a strong concentration on their faith life.

Lesson 8: LOVED ONES FIRST. Simple: Make family a priority.

Lesson 9: RIGHT TRIBE. Be surrounded by those who share Blue Zone values. Being around healthy minded people is essential. The key is making sure you are committed to regular time with those people.

I highly recommend the book. If you want to take the online quiz to establish where you are on your current “expected life expectancy” you can find it on the Blue Zones home page. You can also use it to develop a plan to live longer. For example, mine gave me some strategies to gain three years if I follow their advice. It’s pretty interesting if you like those types of exercises. Have an awesome weekend.

 

 

Let’s not be bystanders. Standing up is required for all of us.

Glennon Doyle continues…

“Now is the time to do what we tell our kids to do. Do not be a bystander – not in this moment in which the very humanity of our country is crumbling. Do not  be a bystander- not while bullies take crying babies from their terrified mother’s arms. It’s the bystanders that allow the bullies to rule.  If we don’t speak up and stand up for these children- it’s time to stop pretending we ever will.” (Via Glennon Doyle’s  Instagram campaign early last week. Her organization @together.rising, has raised over $3 million while generating public awareness to challenge our government to do the right thing.)

I generally do not shine a light on my thoughts about many of our worldly challenges in this blog. It gets too messy and you can’t possibly provide adequate context in a short blog. I stood by recently, watching this crisis unfold, and today took time to catch up on the latest developments.

The issue in summary – if you are like many who don’t stay tuned in to the daily barrage of news media – is that under this administration’s “zero tolerance” policy, the U.S. will give preference to immigrants who have waited their turn. This means that those undocumented adult immigrants who did not come through a legal entry point, have been arrested and separated from their children. While there’s some ambiguity, federal officials shared intentions over the weekend to reunite over 2,000 children with their parents – after a literal outcry from Americans. This, only to happen after their parents have completed their court proceedings. Further family separations have stopped… thanks to a refusal of the masses to not allow the “bullies” to win.

This is not what our country is about. Our country was built on the backs of immigrants, many of us claiming that bloodline. I hope that you will stay connected to this issue and others like it. We really cannot just say, “I don’t watch the news, it’s too negative.” We have to find some avenue to be AWARE, to ENGAGE when needed and to ensure AMERICA remains a country that rises above in integrity, love and honor for all.  It is all of our responsibility.

Here is a short list of organizations you might want to explore (in addition to contacting your elected officials this is always the first line of defense):

  • ACLU: The American Civil Liberties Union
  • RAICES: The Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services
  • @together.rising, as mentioned above

The Power of Story

I have always been fascinated by that one tree in the middle of a field on a road trip. Somehow it has a story to tell, or so it seems. How did it arrive here? How has it endured the many seasons and harsh conditions? Is it lonely? Is it super confident because “damn, I survived?”

Clearly trees don’t think like us humans, but if they could talk, they’d have some powerful stories to tell. We all have stories, and we need to know and understand them, celebrating their lessons and impact on our lives.

A part of my mom’s recovery process has been a stint at a psychiatric hospital, where the goal was to modify her medications against the new anti-seizures meds to try to get her out of what seemed like a modified coma (or at least a state of not having her mind or many physical functions). I have to tell you, that at first it was beyond scary to be there. People walking, others laying or sitting in beds and chairs, yelling and babbling incoherently.

It’s tough on everyone involved and God bless the care team. My mom leaves there today to start rehabilitating her body. I have to tell you, that I’ve come to love these people who have taken care of her. Yesterday, Maria told me about her 46-year-old marriage and pieced together a story for me about how she is a working woman, a proud mom and how she’s scared. She, like so many, likely has dementia – or a version of Alzheimer’s. She has a story.

Many of these people didn’t seem to have family or friends ever come to visit… no one to hear their story. Even those who do, I wonder if we take the time to understand and listen to the stories.

I’m mindful as a health care leader in the senior space about how we are doing in creating pathways to ensure the dignity of our seniors and to hear their stories. As a now 50-year old, I know I haven’t listened well to the stories of the older generations. We need a culture shift in America to focus on the importance of this. Other countries do this really well, if we can stop and learn from them.

Stories are powerful.

What if, today I…

(Rewind! This is a timely and relevant rewind post from 2017 to help get your mind in the right space as we top off the week!)

If you are in the workplace and have anything to do with marketing, you might follow Seth Godin.

He has daily, short blogs that offer up simple ideas on pushing you to the next level in creativity. His recent post caught my attention, and my mind took it another direction. His title, “Three simple and difficult steps” offered this:

  1. Get Smarter. Hurry. (Technology and life is moving fast)
  2. Solve interesting problems.
  3. Care. More.

His thinking was that most people do one of these, but what would happen if you became the type of person and does all three? You might add leverage and value and ultimately choices to your life.

I thought it was good, but here’s where my mind went with it…

What if today we set a goal to accomplish something that really impacted our life/world? What if today was the day that we did not operate our daily routine, but instead choose to take a new route to work, craft a personal mission statement outlining what we’d love to do right now, and set forth a plan to make it so?

One day can be so impactful, yet we often let our days become routine and settle in. I like settling in, but I LOVE feeling energized and like I’m really doing something important. That one is much better! How about you?

What can you do today to UP YOUR LEVERAGE? To get smarter, or change paths or to just be a part of a nicer and better world? My guess is that we can ALL DO SOMETHING.